Fear, love and freedom

"I will not fear
I will not deny Your love...
All of my life
I could not deny Your love."

When I sang these words for the first time, I didn't really think about them. It was about mechanics. Memorization. Music notes.

But music is so much more than notes. Words like these were designed to mean something.

They're from a song called "Freedom is here" by Hillsong United. It's a song to (and about) God.

When I started thinking about the lyrics, I thought they were about having courage to share my faith…to live for God. Maybe that is true. But maybe it’s about something more.

As I again contemplated the song lyrics above, I realized that when I live in fear, it can be a form of denying God’s love. Because when I live as if I know I’m loved, it’s virtually impossible to be afraid.

Let me explain...when people see me, it’s like they’re watching a little girl standing on the edge of a diving board. The girl who knows and trusts her Dad to catch her approaches the edge differently than the girl who doesn’t trust her dad at all…or the one who doesn’t believe anyone is in the pool waiting for her with open arms.

I’m not diving into a pool today, but every day I dive into situations, relationships, work…you name it. Do I jump with confidence? Or hesitate?

In the words of another musician (Dave Barnes—my fave—to be exact), “Where love is, fear won’t tread.”

I believe with all my heart that there’s a freedom found in Love alone.

Expect the Unexpected.

I used to live in a barn.
I went on a date with the Bachelor.
I once was a nun.
And I love crazy rides at amusement parks.

Sound surprising? These things are all true about me (and perhaps with a bit of backstory, they may seem more realistic to you).

For the most part, my life makes sense. I'm kind of a "you get what you see" kind of person. And that's okay. But there's part of me that likes to surprise people--that likes some sort of mystery (maybe it was all those Nancy Drew books I read growing up).

Expecting the Unexpected from God?

Sometimes I wonder if God is like that, too. Yes, He's the same today, yesterday and forever. He always keeps His promises. He's always just, always perfect and always holy.

But God is also full of grace--and by definition, grace is surprising. It's undeserved, unexpected. And real love is like that, too--it can catch you off guard. When I've experienced that kind of love from God, my family and friends, sometimes it hits me like, "Whoa! What did I ever do to experience something this amazing?" And the truth is, I could never really do anything to deserve love. Love in its purest form is not about deserving, it's about giving.

Living the Unexpected

So maybe I should rewind a bit and tell you how I started thinking about this topic. A few weeks ago, I was reading during my normal devotional time and saw these verses. And then I heard them again the next week at G2 (church young adults' group). Maybe God was trying to get my attention?

Anyway, I think sometimes we all can get stuck in boxes of expectations--for God, for ourselves, for other people. Yes, those boxes can come from outside influences like family, friends, acquaintances and the media. But most often, they are boxes we've built ourselves.

Don't get me wrong--I know that living a Christian life comes with some boundaries designed to protect me and bring God's best into my life. But those boundaries are miniscule compared to the great, expansive life of freedom that God has called us to--and that's what these verses are about, so I'll let you read them--and dare you to expect the unexpected in your own life.

2 Corinthians 6:11-13

I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life.

We didn't fence you in.

The smallness you feel comes from within you.

Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way.

I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection.

Open up your lives.

Live openly and expansively!