Change Part Two: Piercings, tatoos and transformation

I first read Kaitlyn's story about a month ago.

We've never met. I simply had a glimpse into her life by reading a post on a Starbucks customer Web site. But it's something that stuck with me.

Partners and piercings

Kaitlyn works at Starbucks--she's been a partner for two years. She loves her co-workers, customers and company. But Kaitlyn's Starbucks world was "turned upside down." Why?

Her manager asked her to remove her nose piercing or cover it up with a Band-aid while working. Here's a little bit of what Kaitlyn wrote:

I want to stand for something.
Yes, it's a hole in my nose,
and I can leave the company at a later point
and just have it redone if I so choose.
I don't want to leave.
I would love to stick with this company,
I can see myself still with this company years from now.
I would like the policy on piercings to be straightened out.
If the cost of this is my job, I suppose it is the price I must pay.

I should start by saying that I actually agree with Kaitlyn's basic argument--personally, I think baristas should be allowed to show (non-offensive) piercings and tatoos. However, what struck me about Kaitlyn's post and rationale is that, whether you agree with her or not, she went about creating change the wrong way.

First, Kaitlyn made this post on a public forum mainly designed for Starbucks' customers. Instead, she should have shared her feelings one-on-one with her manager or maybe on the Starbucks' Web site specifically for employees.

Secondly, based on other content in her posting, Kaitlyn knew the "no piercings" rule when she started working at Starbucks...before she got her piercing. Instead of breaking the rule and then expecting the entire global company to change its policy, she could have a) tried to change the rule first or b) moved on to work at another company before getting her piercing.

Finally (and perhaps most importantly!), I think Kaitlyn's biggest flaw was neglecting the big picture. She has a job...that she actually likes. She enjoys her company. She's working...while thousands of other Starbucks partners have been laid off. She can even keep her piercing...the company just asks that she cover it up (like with a tiny Band-aid) while working.

Maybe it's just me...but a policy that forbids showing a piercing at work? Not really worth arguing about in the grand scheme of things. I bet hundreds of laid off people would love her job and all it's perks (hello, health insurance! 401(k)! Discounted coffee!) in the current economy.

Change through transformation

The fact that I remember Kaitlyn's story or that I'm writing about it here may seem silly to you. But as I read it, it struck me as exemplifying how so many people (especially young adults like Kaitlyn and I ) sometimes try to create change.

Our generation may think it's noble to "buck the system", create our own rules, complain (to the wrong people!) and disregard rules or leaders we find irrelevant, unrealistic or just plain pointless.

But does that approach to creating change really work? And even if it does work, is it the optimal way to create change?
No.

One thing I'm recognizing lately is that those who bring about change best--whether it's history-making or just something that alters their families, companies or schools--transform systems and cultures. They don't usually fight, protest or break the rules--they become the best and brightest leaders and examples--from whatever "positions" they have.

A few transformational leaders…

I think President Obama is a transformational leader…and so is Sarah Palin. I don’t agree with either of them 100%, but I have to give both of them kudos for breaking through barriers of race, gender, economic background—to try and DO SOMETHING to change our government.

For example, President Obama could have been satisfied to say, “It’s unfair that we’ve never had an African-American president.” His criticism would have right…but it wouldn’t have changed anything. Instead, I think that disappointing statistic (and a passion to lead change) motivated him to succeed and transform America’s history.

In the Bible, Esther is one example of a transformational leader. I think Esther is often simply labeled by Christians as “beautiful” or “one who God used to save Israel.” Those things are true…but Esther was also a leader. Her beauty may have brought her to a position as queen, but it probably didn’t keep her there…or serve as the sole factor that allowed her to influence the king. She was a leader who had some brainpower, too—and used her position of leadership to transform an anti-Semitic culture and save her people.

Putting the pieces together…

In this post, I’ve talked about bringing about change through transformation. But that approach only works if you’re the one who wants change.

What about the cases where change just happens—and you’re just left to pick up the pieces? That’s my next topic…and one I’ve experienced a bit this year. Stay tuned…

Change - Part One: What a difference a year makes

If there's one word that could sum up the last year for me, it would be "change."

(Thanks, Mr. President, for the hint!)

I don't know about you, but the last 12 months have brought a lot of changes in my life ranging from stitches and scars (literally) to new family members (yes, I have a brother-in-law now!) to unexpected career turns.

And then there are the other changes in the lives of my friends, family members, church, office, the economy, our country…you name it…that in turn affect my relationship with these people, organizations and entities.

Being the artistic/analytical girl that I am (yeah, I’ll admit it’s kind of a weird combo—but it’s just me), I’ve been thinking about change a lot lately. So I’ll start sharing some of those thoughts with you in a little blog series…just in case you were wondering.

A few things I know for sure?

Change happens. And it happens all the time. There are changes I can’t control. There are others I can. Knowing the difference? Could change my life. (And maybe yours, too.)

Also crucial? Knowing how to lead change…or lead in the midst of change…and they’re not always the same either.

I’ve heard it said that, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” But I also believe that sometimes, “The more things stay the same, the more they desperately NEED to change.”

Change can be AMAZINGLY good, scary, overwhelming, exciting, life-altering, devastating, inspiring—and sometimes all of those things put together in a kaleidoscope of crazy we call “life”. Here’s to the adventure.

Love lesson from a crazy lady...and God

"You're really pretty...I just thought you should know that."

If it were a movie, I would have heard the line from a single Christian guy my age who I also found attractive (on multiple levels).

But it wasn't a movie. It was my life...which meant the line came from a crazy middle-aged woman yelling from across the street in the middle of downtown Tacoma...shouting at me or the two girls I was with?...I don't honestly know. :)

Laugh with me if you will, but so many people on this planet want to be noticed...not solely for the sake of recognition, but just to know that what we do...or who we are...matters to somebody else.

There are moments where I've tried to go the extra mile. At work, it happens when I take on an extremely tough (or dull) assignment with a tight deadline and, in the words of Tim Gunn, "make it work." In my personal life, I may wear extremely uncomfortable shoes, clothes or a certain hairstyle in an attempt to just look better...or perhaps catch the attention of a specific guy.

And guess what? Sometimes no one at work says "thank you" or the guy I was interested in doesn't appear to notice or even care.

I was thinking about that after my run-in with the crazy lady this week when I felt like God spoke to my heart...

"Sometimes I feel that way about you...like I'm here with you always and you don't notice Me or the things I've done."

Whoa.

I've heard it said that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. And when it comes to my relationship with God and what He wants, I know that's true (see Rev.3:16). He deserves so much more than I could ever offer...but I can give Him my best. My best is more than my money (though it does include that, too!)--it's my whole heart.

In the busyness (or challenging circumstances) of life, it can take effort to notice God's voice,
presence or blessings, but that doesn't mean He's absent, silent or not blessing me (hello--every day...every breath...is a gift).

Many people think that to please God, you have to be perfect. But now I think of it like the crazy lady's street shout out: even though the compliment was delivered through an imperfect person in a non-movie moment, it still meant something to me.

When I take notice of God and thank Him for who He is, it's usually not perfect. I probably don't notice everything (is that even possible?). I may not say all the right things at the right time. But I bet He still appreciates it.

Maybe to God, I'm a little like the crazy lady.

:)

Ready...or not?

"I'm ready, God, so ready."

Have you ever prayed like that?

I think for many of us, it's a last-ditch effort kind of prayer. It's the, "I'm still here, God, do you hear me?!? Do you see what I'm going through?!?" kind of prayer. It's probably a prayer of desperation--for that long-awaited job, spouse, financial stability, salvation of a close friend or relative, healing, relationship repair...you name it.

Last night I was reading a prayer that started like that in the Bible (David's prayer in Psalm 108 according to The Message version) but that's not what it was about...well, not exactly.

Here's how it goes:

I'm ready, God, so ready,

ready from head to toe.

Ready to sing,

ready to raise a God-song

"Wake, soul!"

...I'm thanking you, God,

out in the streets,

singing your praises

in town and country.

The deeper your love,

the higher it goes;

every cloud's a flag to your faithfulness.

Soar high in the skies, O God!

Cover the whole earth with your glory!

Whoa.

David's "I'm SO ready, God" was expressing his desperation to thank and praise God.But that's not where the story ends:

And for the sake of the one you love so much,

reach down and help me—answer me!

Hold up--David was desperate to praise God...when, at the same time, he was also desperate for help? He was psyched to thank God...when the answers weren't there yet? Wow.

Let's see how God responded to that:

That's when God spoke in holy splendor:

"Brimming over with joy,

I make a present of Shechem,

I hand out Succoth Valley as a gift.

Gilead's in my pocket,

to say nothing of Manasseh.

Ephraim's my hard hat,

Judah my hammer.

Moab's a scrub bucket—

I mop the floor with Moab,

Spit on Edom,

rain fireworks all over Philistia."

Translation? God's basically saying to David (a warrior), "I'm giving you new territory. I've got allies for you in my back pocket. And I'm taking out your enemies."

I kind of wish the prayer ended there.

But I'll be honest--I'm really glad it doesn't. Because it goes on to show a little bit more of David's humanity. After God spoke and basically said, "Don't worry--I'm taking care of you and your situation," David did what a lot of do...he kept on talking:

Who will take me to the thick of the fight?

Who'll show me the road to Edom?

You aren't giving up on us, are you, God?

refusing to go out with our troops?

David's questions here are interesting to me. He is the man after God's own heart--but he's also still a man. A human being. And like a lot of us, he doesn't just want God to answer--he wants the details. He doesn't just want to know what's going to happen...he wants to know how.

The prayer ends as David says:

Give us help for the hard task;

human help is worthless.

In God we'll do our very best;

he'll flatten the opposition for good.

The good news? In the end, David trusted God and admitted the limitations of humanity. However, I also love that David didn't let his limitations stop him from doing his part.

I hope reading this passage (and my little commentary along the way) encouraged you. I know looking closely at David's example and God's way of speaking and answering prayer in this passage was a good reminder for me--to focus on thanking God just for who He is, to listen, to trust His plan for my life and to do my best with whatever "hard task" I encounter.

Cool things (to love!) lately...

iTunes find: Listen to"You, the Night & Candlelight" by Dave Barnes. Original songs plus a sweet remix of "My Girl." It's short, but will leave you wanting more Barnes' music magic.

Cafe oh yay: Check out Circa in West Seattle. Cozy atmosphere? Check. Cheap prices? Check. The best sandwich I've ever tasted (Brie with bacon and fig aioli...trust me!)? Check.

Cause: Habitat for Humanity. If you're from Champions Centre, join us with the Justice Project on the 3rd Saturday of each month to work giving a home...not just a house...to someone in our community.

Chocolate cool: Chocolove candy bars come with a love poem inside (collective "Aww..." required). I recommend "Orange Peel in Dark Chocolate." So buy one for your sweetie. Or for yourself. Because they're just stinkin' good (and you can find them at Target, too!).

Coffee crush: Grab a tall, 1 pump cinnamon dolce mocha at Starbucks. Chocolate + cinnamon + coffee = True love. :)

Chick flick: "Confessions of a Shopaholic" is simple, pure fun. Go with your girls (spare your boyfriend or husband!) if you want to bond over beautiful clothes, crazy comedic moments and a love story.

Chick lit: "I Was Told There'd Be Cake" by Sloane Crosley. It's a collection of essays that will make you laugh. And if you like the movie, check out the Confessions of a Shopaholic series...there's definitely some hilarity there that can't translate to the screen.

Blog: The Recessionista is pretty much perfect for right now. Also, reading people's "25 things" lists on Facebook...you learn things about people you wouldn't normally guess. Some serious, some funny, but all interesting...because they reflect the lives of people you care about.

Bible story you should know (but maybe you don't): David, Nabal and Abigail (I Samuel 25). Great lessons about relationships...thanks, PK.

Cheap night in: Haven't tried this yet, but saw a Redbox nearby and had to look it up. Movie rentals for $1 per night.

Cheap day out: Head to Green Lake on a sunny day and just take a walk, run, or (dare I say it?) skate around. It's a good place to people watch, talk with friends, get some exercise or just enjoy Northwest weather.

Confessions of a traveler: Rent a car with GPS in unfamiliar locales. It may have changed my life. The one I had in L.A. gave these soothing, reaffirming dings when my driver chose the right moves...it was like winning points on a video game (not that I'm familiar with those, Mom). :)

Your office meets The Bachelor

“I just don’t think he sees the real me and all I have to offer,” she sobs. “I feel such a deep connection here, you know?”

Is she a contestant on The Bachelor? Or your cubicle neighbor confiding to an HR representative? In 2009, it’s hard to tell.

Is it strange that I’m comparing your oh-so-professional colleague to the sad caricatures on a reality TV show? Maybe. But perhaps there are a few things employees across America can learn from The Bachelor.

1. Look out for the claws…

On The Bachelor, contestants can get down-right mean. Believe it or not, some can be that way in the workplace, too (and I’m not talking about the Ghost of Pen-Stealing) . Your colleagues can damage your reputation, though they probably won’t pull your hair or throw a glass of champagne at you. (Well, unless you count that incident at the holiday party…but she was definitely drunk, trust me. Why else would she sing “Achy, Brachy Heart” in front of senior management?)

2. But focus on what you can control.

The best protection for the office claws? A team spirit demonstrated by your value for others. For example, instead of hitting “Reply all” on criticism of a colleague’s work, how about noting his positive contributions in a message to his boss? Be sincere. And perhaps someone else will return the favor.Other things you can control? Your attitude (practice saying, “Why yes, I LOVE TPS reports!” 10 times daily) and your contribution (actually completing those TPS reports).

3. Don’t dish about your “competition.”

Have you ever heard a whiney girl on The Bachelor complaining about someone else?

“Jen is just so…like…materialistic and into “stuff”, you know? She just doesn’t seem genuine. I don’t think she’s here for the right reasons… she’s not really here for you. By the way, did I tell you how much I’d REALLY love a Gucci purse for my birthday?!?”

Lesson learned.

4. Make the most of your one-on-ones.

When you meet with your boss or other managers, demonstrate a willingness to help them. Keep them informed of the work you’re doing and how it’s connected to the company’s goals. When appropriate, share ideas on new products, ways to keep or gain customers, or make things more efficient. It’s not about tooting your own horn, but focusing on the big picture issues of your organization and how you can make an impact (“I read about this new program that could help us complete TPS reports five times faster, giving us more time to focus on new sales.”).

5. “Will you accept this rose?” beats a pink slip.

Perhaps instead of handing out the proverbial pink slips, companies could hold mass rose ceremonies, celebrating the employees they’ve decided to keep? While this may be completely impractical, I do think it’s important for companies to think about celebrating their survivors.

At any organization facing layoffs, morale will be down, even among those left after layoffs. If the survivors represent talented people companies want to retain and attract, aren’t they worth some encouragement? And besides, “Jo, will you accept this rose?” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

6. Don’t cry (or spew your disgust) ‘til you get to the limo.

Have you ever seen the girl on The Bachelor who is crazy mad in love with the guy…until she’s dumped at the rose ceremony? Once dumped, she proceeds to unleash Snotfest 2009 on the poor chap while spewing remarks like, “I just thought you were completely wrong! You didn’t listen well! You didn’t get the chance to see the real me! And you kept Sarah?!? You are SO going to regret that!”

If you are ever laid off in the workplace, take a lesson from that chick. Do your best to contain the tide of tears. If you do cry at the office, refrain from spilling the other stuff…remember, your employer could be a good reference for you. And who knows? When the economy turns around or other positions open, you could end up working for there again.

7. Is it the “most dramatic” ever?!? Really?

If you’ve ever watched a season…okay, an episode…of The Bachelor, you’ve probably heard the announcer refer to the “most dramatic rose ceremony ever.” Typically, this happens at least once an episode. Likewise, if you are laid off, know that it may feel sad, depressing, or even devastating…but it’s not the end of the world. You’re still the same person. You still have the same family, friends, health and talents. And who knows? Maybe there’s a “stronger connection”, a better bachelor…er…job…out there for you.

Who am I...really?

"Who am I...really?" is a basic question that usually comes with not-so-basic answers. And I think it's a question many people...and even companies...are asking right now.

Take Starbucks, for example. It's a huge global company with thousands of employees, millions of customers and billions of dollars in revenue. But last month, I sat in a room with Starbucks' CEO Howard Schultz (yup, that's us pictured above!). It was a regular-sized Starbucks store with about 50 regular "Joe"s (and "Jo"s, too--if you count me!) in the middle of Lakewood, Washington--a town known for its strange mix of gangs, mansions and military.

Why was I there? Because Starbucks is searching. It's looking for ideas, feedback and even criticism from regular people--Starbucks is feeling a bit lost. For the first time in its history, Starbucks' profits are down, stores are closing and baristas are losing their jobs.

Likewise, I think there are many people in society--average "Joe"s and "Jo"s if you will--that have been shaken lately. They feel lost without their jobs, their savings, the "stuff" they can't afford anymore. Some have lost their foundation--a belief they could do anything themselves--or that money, a fancy title or "stuff" defined them.

In some ways, that questioning, that shaken spirit is frightening. It can be scary. But I also believe it could help people change their lives (or companies change their focus) for the better.

Why? Because sometimes we need to get back to asking and answering basic questions. Here's some that I hope people are considering:

• What do I believe?
  


• How are my beliefs reflected in my actions? In how I spend time? How I talk? How I spend money?
  


• What are my non-negotiables--the things I know for sure and won't compromise on?
  


• Who (or what) do I love...really?
  


• What am I passionate about? What are things I hate?
  


• What's my purpose?
  


• What are my strengths?
  


• What do I want to be remembered for?
  


• What do I need to get rid of?
  


• What do I need to change?

For those who love God, some of the questions should actually be phrased a bit differently. For example:

• What does the Bible say about who and what God is passionate about? Who does God love? What are things God loves? What are things God hates?
  


• What's God's purpose for this planet? For people? For the Church globally?
  


• What does the Bible say about how God views me?
  


• How can I partner with God--using the passion and strenghs He's given me--to fulfill His purpose?
  


• Is there something I need to change or give up, so that I can be the person God wants me to be?

I believe this season in history will have a serious impact on the destiny of people, companies and religions worldwide.

I hope that it's a season where Christians wake up, get a clue about who they are in Christ--and start living as people filled with love, hope and the confidence that comes from knowing the truth.

But this is not a time to be solely focused on ourselves. It's not a time to stay inwardly focused--because plenty of liars, false religions, cheap imitations of love and pleasure--will be on the prowl trying to "save" people as well.

Most importantly, I pray that we as Christians will be bold enough to start helping others ask the questions, search for answers and find truth in Christ and a family of believers (called the Church).

People are searching. This is a serious time for real questions...but it is also an opportunity to find real answers.

One thing I know for sure? Live the questions by pursuing truth with all you've got. Because God is the source of truth. And knowing Him--and the truth of His Word--is the only way to find freedom.