Cool things (to love!) lately...

iTunes find: Listen to"You, the Night & Candlelight" by Dave Barnes. Original songs plus a sweet remix of "My Girl." It's short, but will leave you wanting more Barnes' music magic.

Cafe oh yay: Check out Circa in West Seattle. Cozy atmosphere? Check. Cheap prices? Check. The best sandwich I've ever tasted (Brie with bacon and fig aioli...trust me!)? Check.

Cause: Habitat for Humanity. If you're from Champions Centre, join us with the Justice Project on the 3rd Saturday of each month to work giving a home...not just a house...to someone in our community.

Chocolate cool: Chocolove candy bars come with a love poem inside (collective "Aww..." required). I recommend "Orange Peel in Dark Chocolate." So buy one for your sweetie. Or for yourself. Because they're just stinkin' good (and you can find them at Target, too!).

Coffee crush: Grab a tall, 1 pump cinnamon dolce mocha at Starbucks. Chocolate + cinnamon + coffee = True love. :)

Chick flick: "Confessions of a Shopaholic" is simple, pure fun. Go with your girls (spare your boyfriend or husband!) if you want to bond over beautiful clothes, crazy comedic moments and a love story.

Chick lit: "I Was Told There'd Be Cake" by Sloane Crosley. It's a collection of essays that will make you laugh. And if you like the movie, check out the Confessions of a Shopaholic series...there's definitely some hilarity there that can't translate to the screen.

Blog: The Recessionista is pretty much perfect for right now. Also, reading people's "25 things" lists on Facebook...you learn things about people you wouldn't normally guess. Some serious, some funny, but all interesting...because they reflect the lives of people you care about.

Bible story you should know (but maybe you don't): David, Nabal and Abigail (I Samuel 25). Great lessons about relationships...thanks, PK.

Cheap night in: Haven't tried this yet, but saw a Redbox nearby and had to look it up. Movie rentals for $1 per night.

Cheap day out: Head to Green Lake on a sunny day and just take a walk, run, or (dare I say it?) skate around. It's a good place to people watch, talk with friends, get some exercise or just enjoy Northwest weather.

Confessions of a traveler: Rent a car with GPS in unfamiliar locales. It may have changed my life. The one I had in L.A. gave these soothing, reaffirming dings when my driver chose the right moves...it was like winning points on a video game (not that I'm familiar with those, Mom). :)

Your office meets The Bachelor

“I just don’t think he sees the real me and all I have to offer,” she sobs. “I feel such a deep connection here, you know?”

Is she a contestant on The Bachelor? Or your cubicle neighbor confiding to an HR representative? In 2009, it’s hard to tell.

Is it strange that I’m comparing your oh-so-professional colleague to the sad caricatures on a reality TV show? Maybe. But perhaps there are a few things employees across America can learn from The Bachelor.

1. Look out for the claws…

On The Bachelor, contestants can get down-right mean. Believe it or not, some can be that way in the workplace, too (and I’m not talking about the Ghost of Pen-Stealing) . Your colleagues can damage your reputation, though they probably won’t pull your hair or throw a glass of champagne at you. (Well, unless you count that incident at the holiday party…but she was definitely drunk, trust me. Why else would she sing “Achy, Brachy Heart” in front of senior management?)

2. But focus on what you can control.

The best protection for the office claws? A team spirit demonstrated by your value for others. For example, instead of hitting “Reply all” on criticism of a colleague’s work, how about noting his positive contributions in a message to his boss? Be sincere. And perhaps someone else will return the favor.Other things you can control? Your attitude (practice saying, “Why yes, I LOVE TPS reports!” 10 times daily) and your contribution (actually completing those TPS reports).

3. Don’t dish about your “competition.”

Have you ever heard a whiney girl on The Bachelor complaining about someone else?

“Jen is just so…like…materialistic and into “stuff”, you know? She just doesn’t seem genuine. I don’t think she’s here for the right reasons… she’s not really here for you. By the way, did I tell you how much I’d REALLY love a Gucci purse for my birthday?!?”

Lesson learned.

4. Make the most of your one-on-ones.

When you meet with your boss or other managers, demonstrate a willingness to help them. Keep them informed of the work you’re doing and how it’s connected to the company’s goals. When appropriate, share ideas on new products, ways to keep or gain customers, or make things more efficient. It’s not about tooting your own horn, but focusing on the big picture issues of your organization and how you can make an impact (“I read about this new program that could help us complete TPS reports five times faster, giving us more time to focus on new sales.”).

5. “Will you accept this rose?” beats a pink slip.

Perhaps instead of handing out the proverbial pink slips, companies could hold mass rose ceremonies, celebrating the employees they’ve decided to keep? While this may be completely impractical, I do think it’s important for companies to think about celebrating their survivors.

At any organization facing layoffs, morale will be down, even among those left after layoffs. If the survivors represent talented people companies want to retain and attract, aren’t they worth some encouragement? And besides, “Jo, will you accept this rose?” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

6. Don’t cry (or spew your disgust) ‘til you get to the limo.

Have you ever seen the girl on The Bachelor who is crazy mad in love with the guy…until she’s dumped at the rose ceremony? Once dumped, she proceeds to unleash Snotfest 2009 on the poor chap while spewing remarks like, “I just thought you were completely wrong! You didn’t listen well! You didn’t get the chance to see the real me! And you kept Sarah?!? You are SO going to regret that!”

If you are ever laid off in the workplace, take a lesson from that chick. Do your best to contain the tide of tears. If you do cry at the office, refrain from spilling the other stuff…remember, your employer could be a good reference for you. And who knows? When the economy turns around or other positions open, you could end up working for there again.

7. Is it the “most dramatic” ever?!? Really?

If you’ve ever watched a season…okay, an episode…of The Bachelor, you’ve probably heard the announcer refer to the “most dramatic rose ceremony ever.” Typically, this happens at least once an episode. Likewise, if you are laid off, know that it may feel sad, depressing, or even devastating…but it’s not the end of the world. You’re still the same person. You still have the same family, friends, health and talents. And who knows? Maybe there’s a “stronger connection”, a better bachelor…er…job…out there for you.

Who am I...really?

"Who am I...really?" is a basic question that usually comes with not-so-basic answers. And I think it's a question many people...and even companies...are asking right now.

Take Starbucks, for example. It's a huge global company with thousands of employees, millions of customers and billions of dollars in revenue. But last month, I sat in a room with Starbucks' CEO Howard Schultz (yup, that's us pictured above!). It was a regular-sized Starbucks store with about 50 regular "Joe"s (and "Jo"s, too--if you count me!) in the middle of Lakewood, Washington--a town known for its strange mix of gangs, mansions and military.

Why was I there? Because Starbucks is searching. It's looking for ideas, feedback and even criticism from regular people--Starbucks is feeling a bit lost. For the first time in its history, Starbucks' profits are down, stores are closing and baristas are losing their jobs.

Likewise, I think there are many people in society--average "Joe"s and "Jo"s if you will--that have been shaken lately. They feel lost without their jobs, their savings, the "stuff" they can't afford anymore. Some have lost their foundation--a belief they could do anything themselves--or that money, a fancy title or "stuff" defined them.

In some ways, that questioning, that shaken spirit is frightening. It can be scary. But I also believe it could help people change their lives (or companies change their focus) for the better.

Why? Because sometimes we need to get back to asking and answering basic questions. Here's some that I hope people are considering:

• What do I believe?
  


• How are my beliefs reflected in my actions? In how I spend time? How I talk? How I spend money?
  


• What are my non-negotiables--the things I know for sure and won't compromise on?
  


• Who (or what) do I love...really?
  


• What am I passionate about? What are things I hate?
  


• What's my purpose?
  


• What are my strengths?
  


• What do I want to be remembered for?
  


• What do I need to get rid of?
  


• What do I need to change?

For those who love God, some of the questions should actually be phrased a bit differently. For example:

• What does the Bible say about who and what God is passionate about? Who does God love? What are things God loves? What are things God hates?
  


• What's God's purpose for this planet? For people? For the Church globally?
  


• What does the Bible say about how God views me?
  


• How can I partner with God--using the passion and strenghs He's given me--to fulfill His purpose?
  


• Is there something I need to change or give up, so that I can be the person God wants me to be?

I believe this season in history will have a serious impact on the destiny of people, companies and religions worldwide.

I hope that it's a season where Christians wake up, get a clue about who they are in Christ--and start living as people filled with love, hope and the confidence that comes from knowing the truth.

But this is not a time to be solely focused on ourselves. It's not a time to stay inwardly focused--because plenty of liars, false religions, cheap imitations of love and pleasure--will be on the prowl trying to "save" people as well.

Most importantly, I pray that we as Christians will be bold enough to start helping others ask the questions, search for answers and find truth in Christ and a family of believers (called the Church).

People are searching. This is a serious time for real questions...but it is also an opportunity to find real answers.

One thing I know for sure? Live the questions by pursuing truth with all you've got. Because God is the source of truth. And knowing Him--and the truth of His Word--is the only way to find freedom.

Starbucks quote of the day: Interesting for young adults beginning our careers

"Failure's hard, but success is far more dangerous. If you're successful at the wrong thing, the mix of praise and money and opportunity can lock you in forever."

Po Bronson, author of "What Should I Do With My Life?"

Hold out

Okay, I'll admit it--I'm a word nerd. For better or for worse, words and phrases often crack me up, make me cringe, or make me think.

Case in point (and maybe I've blogged about this before?), the investment firm I work for recently created a new service for clients dubbed "exposure management." Whenever I hear the term, I think it sounds like a service Britney Spears should hire us for :)

[In actuality, it has to do with something real (and probably boring-sounding to most of you) like giving our clients exposure to the stock and bond markets without trading physical securities.]

But back to the point--as a word nerd, sometimes when I hear or read things, specific words and phrases stand out or create pictures in my mind.

Last week at Anthem young adults' network, our speaker, Jodi, read this passage. It's one I've heard and read a million times before. But this time, something new stood out:

"Do everything

without complaining

or arguing,

so that you may become blameless and pure,

children of God

without fault

in a crooked and depraved generation,

in which

you shine

like stars

in the universe

as you hold out

the word of life—

in order that I may boast

on the day of Christ

that I did not run

or labor

for nothing.

(Philippians 2:14-16, NIV)

As you can probably tell by the bold text above, the phrase "hold out" captured my attention this time. I thought it seemed a bit odd...because most often, we "hold in" or "throw out" things.

When it comes to faith, I think many of us take that approach--we hold in by keeping our relationship with God close to our hearts, personal--but not living it out in our lives or sharing Christ with others.

On the flip side, sometimes we may throw out our faith. I've seen this happen two ways--there are some who throw out their faith like they're launching a massive snowball attack on everyone they meet--you know, telling random strangers they're going to hell or constantly talking in Christianese to their co-workers.

Others throw out their faith by discarding it--perhaps by being a Christian only when it's convenient or knowing the right things to do and choosing to live their lives on a different path anyway.

But this passage tells us to hold out the word of truth. When I think of that phrase, I have a picture in my mind--of holding out my arms to shake someone's hand or hug them. For a moment, it feels kind of awkward. Because by holding out, I am open. I have to bold and take a first step...which means I am a bit vulnerable (read more about that topic in an earlier post here). I'm putting a bit of myself on the line. At the same time, my open hands or open arms aren't forceful. The other person can choose to accept my handshake or hug...or they can choose to walk away.

I think sharing our faith is similar--it's about living as an example for Christ on this planet. It's about loving people...which may mean talking with them about God, but it also could mean just being an incredible friend, employee or family member...and letting the talking come later.

Personally, I don't always have this down, but I'm thankful for God's little reminders. Even if it's just because I'm a self-admitted word nerd, I love that we can always find new things to grasp on in God's Word.

Related posts:

• Be brilliant
  
• Speak up and remember
  
• The power of your presence

All the lonely people

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from ?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

("Eleanor Rigby" - The Beatles)

Loneliness. It's not a topic I've tackled in this blog yet, but it's something I've thought about this week. [And I PROMISE not to make this post depressing, but hopefully thought-provoking, (dare I say it?) entertaining and encouraging...so let's get back to the point.]

The lyrics of "Eleanor Rigby" (and my fave Doxology remix) came to mind this week as I was talking with people, at church, watching movies, reading, shopping, hanging out at restaurants...you name it. I've just realized how much loneliness impacts people of all kinds...and not many are really talking about it. And I think we should be.

Here are a few things I've learned about loneliness:

• Loneliness impacts people in different ways.
  
  When I think of the stereotypical lonely person, I picture a Crazy Cat Lady surrounded by 10 cats, lots of stuffed animals and wearing a Snuggie. But a lonely person could be a bikini barista who sells coffee and a bit of her self-respect to get some attention from a guy. A lonely person could be a guy who "falls in love" with a different girl each week. It could be that guy who sits in Starbucks surrounded by people for hours with a laptop. And on some days, a lonely person could be the one you and I see in the mirror.
  
  I think that in their lonely moments, some people retreat--they stay at home, they write music, they read. Others suddenly become extreme extroverts--they serial date or they are constantly so "busy" they have no time to think. I've seen loneliness drive girls to relationships with loser guys, drive guys to alcohol addictions, push married people toward affairs...you name it
  
  The whole point is that lonely people come in all types and it's not easy to pinpoint who is lonely and who isn't...some just might like cats and Snuggies (and in case you're wondering, that's not me!...but I don't discriminate). :)
  
  
• Lonely people sometimes have lots of friends.
  
  This may sound like an oxymoron to some people, but some of the loneliest people I've ever met or seen have lots of "friends."
  
  The problem? Having lots of friends doesn't make you fulfilled. And "lots of friends" doesn't equal good, solid, "no matter what" friendships.
  
  Take Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears, for example. They have lots of people that "LOVE!!!" them. Millions of people know who they are and want to be like them--but they've both gone through a series of failed relationships, battled addictions...you name it (hello, Sinead O'Connor look!)--why? I think (and they've both said stuff similar to this themselves) at the core, they were looking for love and couldn't find it in another person, purse or pill.
  
  This may sound cliche, but I believe that in all of us, there's a piece of our hearts designed for God. And sometimes we look to other things or people to fill it--and they can't.
  
  
• Single people aren't the only ones who are lonely.
  
  Similar to the second point--but I thought it's worthwhile to point out that people who are married or in dating relationships can get lonely. But even a great husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend can't fill all our relationship needs...for God, yes, but also for healthy relationships with others.
  

Loneliness may not be the greatest feeling in the world...but I think it's something everyone faces at some point in their lives. The key is how we respond to it.

Some Christians will also say the cliche things like, "God is more than enough. He's all I need." Ultimately, this is true...but God also created us for relationships with others. And on the flip side, sometimes being by yourself can be healthy--you can focus on your relationship with God, your goals for the future, or reflect on changes you may need to make in your life.

To some extent, I think a healthy response to loneliness is about balance and attitude. Or perhaps just being observant to share love, light and friendship to "all the lonely people" who may be in your world.

The God who gets me

"You just don't understand!"

It's the mantra of (almost) every teenager, but underneath the classic teen angst, I think most of us are expressing a deep heart cry--to be understood, to have people in our lives who really get us for who we are. I think it's a desire that outlives our acne--it's something that sticks with us all of our lives.

The past few weeks at Anthem Young Adults' Network, we've been talking about how Jesus is Immanuel--God with us. I've heard that since I was a little girl in Sunday School listening to the Christmas story recited by older kids in retired bath robes who also played "Jingle Bells" on their kazoos.

But this season, I heard it--Jesus is Immanuel, God with us--in a fresh way. Maybe it was partly due to an incredible video or a message or just thinking about different life experiences I've had or gone through with friends and family.

It's interesting to really think of Jesus as God with us--the God who gets you and me. After Anthem, I went home and started making a list of some of the ways He can relate to you and me and our experiences on this planet. It's by no means a comprehensive list--but here's what I have so far:

• Jesus had parents.
  
• Jesus had siblings (at least one--James, son of Mary and Joseph).
  
• But in a way, Jesus was also an only child (God's only Son).
  
• Jesus went to school.
  
• Jesus went to church (synagogue).
  
• At times in His life, Jesus followed others and submitted to their imperfect authority (even though He was perfect God in flesh!).
  
• Jesus also knew what it meant to lead.
  
• Jesus probably felt a bit different sometimes--like people didn't get Him.
  
• But He also fit in and hung out with lots of types of people--rich, poor, scholars, sinners, men, women, etc.
  
• Jesus knew what it was like to have great friends.
  
• Jesus knew what it was like to be betrayed by a friend.
  
• Jesus had a job--he worked as a carpenter until he was 30.
  
• Jesus was single.
  
• Jesus knew what it was to be unnoticed or undervalued.
  
• Jesus knew what it was like to be in the spotlight, followed by thousands. [ Random rabbit trail, but I kind of smiled when I thought about this--I wonder if Jesus was ever the "It" bachelor of Nazareth? If my mom had been around back then, she would have said to me, "He builds things! He treats his mother well! He likes kids! He's practically perfect...what's not to like?" :) ]
  
• Jesus celebrated and had fun.
  
• Jesus cried.
  
• Jesus had close friends who were sick.
  
• Jesus experienced the death of at least one close friend (Lazarus--before He brought him back to life!) and a parent (Joseph).
  
• Jesus spoke out against injustice.
  
• Jesus showed kindness and bestowed dignity on outcasts in society (women, Samaritans, lepers...and more).
  
• Jesus hung out with people who were really lost.
  
• Jesus challenged hypocrisy.
  
• Jesus forgave others.
  
• Jesus loved deeply.

There's probably a million more. But how miraculous is it that I get to serve a perfect, all-knowing, all-powerful God who can personally relate with my life? A God who doesn't just know what I feel (good or bad), but can actually empathize with my tough experiences and celebrate my happiness?

Wow. I wonder how people--how I--would live if we really knew and daily recognized that's the kind of God we can actually get to know?

I hope that this lesson of the true gift of Christmas--Immanuel, God with us--the God who gets us--stays close to your heart and mine this season.

Much love to you.