The Jonita & Jesus Project

Hi, friends!

Okay...so you get the inside scoop: I'm on to a new project called the Jonita & Jesus Project.

This past weekend, I saw the movie Julie & Julia and it inspired me. Like one of the lead characters (Julie Powell played by Amy Adams), I am tackling a year-long, life-changing project.

The assignment: Read the entire Bible in one year and blog about the experience.

The deadline: August 14, 2010 (I’ll be almost 30 when I’m done—OH. MY. GOSH!)

If I've tagged you in this post, it could be because...

• You've read my blog posts before.
  
• I thought you might want to participate with me or add your own (amazingly brilliant, insightful or thought-provoking) comments.
  
• I thought you might want to invite friends to participate with us.
  
• You might just be a fantastic friend who I can trust to pray for me (and anyone else this project reaches) throughout the process.

Want to learn more--or read with me? Here's the link for all the details:

http://www.jonitaandjesusproject.blogspot.com/

Fear, love and freedom

"I will not fear
I will not deny Your love...
All of my life
I could not deny Your love."

When I sang these words for the first time, I didn't really think about them. It was about mechanics. Memorization. Music notes.

But music is so much more than notes. Words like these were designed to mean something.

They're from a song called "Freedom is here" by Hillsong United. It's a song to (and about) God.

When I started thinking about the lyrics, I thought they were about having courage to share my faith…to live for God. Maybe that is true. But maybe it’s about something more.

As I again contemplated the song lyrics above, I realized that when I live in fear, it can be a form of denying God’s love. Because when I live as if I know I’m loved, it’s virtually impossible to be afraid.

Let me explain...when people see me, it’s like they’re watching a little girl standing on the edge of a diving board. The girl who knows and trusts her Dad to catch her approaches the edge differently than the girl who doesn’t trust her dad at all…or the one who doesn’t believe anyone is in the pool waiting for her with open arms.

I’m not diving into a pool today, but every day I dive into situations, relationships, work…you name it. Do I jump with confidence? Or hesitate?

In the words of another musician (Dave Barnes—my fave—to be exact), “Where love is, fear won’t tread.”

I believe with all my heart that there’s a freedom found in Love alone.

Cheap & chic fashion find

Shh…I have a secret for any of my chic and cheap fashionista friends.

I just bought this Norma Kamali top online for $20. It looked a little strange upon arrival…but I’m in awe of all the different ways to wear it (halter, asymmetrical, boatneck, top, skirt, dress…and more).

I’ll be honest--not all of the convertible wonder-garment options looked great on me (the halter on the right is my personal fave)…but to get more than one option from an inexpensive piece that also travels well? It’s a beautiful thing.

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?povid=cat1025819-env201614-module222029-lLink1&product_id=10802949

Change - Part 3: When change just happens

“What have you been up to the past year?”

I paused before answering, “In a lot ways, my life is basically the same—I have the same job, live in the same house, attend the same church. But it seems really weird to say that…because so much has changed.”

As I was catching up with a friend recently, I thought about some of the changes I’ve experienced since the beginning of 2008 (not in chronological order or order of importance by any means!). Some of them are good. Some of them are bad. And some of them, I’m honestly not sure about yet.

Here’s the short list (NOTE: These are mostly changes tied to “events”—we all go through intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical changes, too—but I’ll spare you from reading about all of those!):

• I had my first-ever surgery (on a broken arm), went through weeks of physical therapy and am now back to normal. :)
  


• Our young adults’ service at church was revamped and renamed.
  


• Some friends moved away.
  


• My company’s CEO changed—and so did some of our senior leadership team.
  


• My parents started considering moving to Arizona (we’ll see…).
  


• My best friend got married.
  


• The financial markets went into a rollercoaster environment—greatly impacting my day-to-day work (and stress levels!).
  


• My boss was laid off.
  


• I have a new boss (who, thankfully, I also like).
  


• Some friends moved back home.
  


• My middle sister Hannah (and co-owner of my house) was laid off.
  


• My little sister got married. Congrats Kevin & Holly!
  


• Our company laid off approx. 20% of people globally, including over 60% of my team—great friends and talented team members are definitely missed.
  


• Hannah got a great job—and a nice pay increase. Yay!

Some of these bullet points represent major life changes for people I care about deeply—and have significantly impacted my relationships with them. Other changes have impacted me directly—and shaped my day-to-day life.

But guess what? I honestly couldn’t have said or done anything to stop these changes from occurring. In some cases, these events have been exciting…and others have been brutally painful. But these are all changes that “just happened.”

So…what can you (and I!) do when change “just happens”?

This is a tough question and something I'm still trying to figure out. To be honest, I don't know if I ever could figure it out (see #1), but it's a topic you and I will probably wrestle with our entire lives. That said, here's what I'm learning now:

1. Let go...of the need to know "why?"

Particularly when bad, sad or difficult things happen, many of us want to know "why?" And in many cases where I can't control anything, letting go of the need to know "why?" can be healthy (yet especially hard for any "inquiring minds" who have ever been news reporters at any level!).
The drive to know "why?" can be unhealthy in these cases because:

a) Sometimes being a little in the dark is a good thing--with knowledge comes responsibility.

b) The drive to know "why?" can easily morph into a "digging for dirt" mission focused on finding the negative--about people, organizations or situations.

c) The drive to know "why?" can lead you to dive in to situations you were never meant to be in.

2. Let go...of trying to control the things you can't.

This probably sounds like common sense, given the defintion of change that "just happens." But it's not. Sometimes when change happens, an initial reaction is to ask, "What if...?" questions.

But "What if...?" questions are focused on the past. You can't change that. When change "just happens", I think it can be more effective to ask the, "What now...?" questions.

That said, no matter which questions we ask or what actions we take, there are some things outside our control. And I personally believe that's where faith comes in.

3. Hold on...to the things that really matter (and things don't really matter).

It's really interesting to see how people respond to change--especially life-threatening or life-altering circumstances. I've been blessed enough to know some amazing people who, when faced with horrible circumstances, can look for the good.

When my sister lost her job...and I wasn't sure I would keep mine...we would say things like, "No matter what happens, God is still God. We still have our family, our friends, our church, our health. There's a lot to be thankful for!"

Have you ever known someone who has faced a life threatening illness or situation? It's interesting to see their perspectives and how they spend their time. I only wish more of us (myself included!) could live that way always.

4. Hold on...your story isn't over.

One of my friends frequently says, "This too shall pass!" (usually with some laughter) to cope with rocky situations (or crazy annoying people--and let's be honest--we all know them...and we've all probably BEEN them to someone else!). :)

Whenever change "just happens", it can make you feel powerless. Although I can't control the kind of change that just happens to me, I CAN have a say in how it affects my attitude and choices...which affect my future.

Change Part Two: Piercings, tatoos and transformation

I first read Kaitlyn's story about a month ago.

We've never met. I simply had a glimpse into her life by reading a post on a Starbucks customer Web site. But it's something that stuck with me.

Partners and piercings

Kaitlyn works at Starbucks--she's been a partner for two years. She loves her co-workers, customers and company. But Kaitlyn's Starbucks world was "turned upside down." Why?

Her manager asked her to remove her nose piercing or cover it up with a Band-aid while working. Here's a little bit of what Kaitlyn wrote:

I want to stand for something.
Yes, it's a hole in my nose,
and I can leave the company at a later point
and just have it redone if I so choose.
I don't want to leave.
I would love to stick with this company,
I can see myself still with this company years from now.
I would like the policy on piercings to be straightened out.
If the cost of this is my job, I suppose it is the price I must pay.

I should start by saying that I actually agree with Kaitlyn's basic argument--personally, I think baristas should be allowed to show (non-offensive) piercings and tatoos. However, what struck me about Kaitlyn's post and rationale is that, whether you agree with her or not, she went about creating change the wrong way.

First, Kaitlyn made this post on a public forum mainly designed for Starbucks' customers. Instead, she should have shared her feelings one-on-one with her manager or maybe on the Starbucks' Web site specifically for employees.

Secondly, based on other content in her posting, Kaitlyn knew the "no piercings" rule when she started working at Starbucks...before she got her piercing. Instead of breaking the rule and then expecting the entire global company to change its policy, she could have a) tried to change the rule first or b) moved on to work at another company before getting her piercing.

Finally (and perhaps most importantly!), I think Kaitlyn's biggest flaw was neglecting the big picture. She has a job...that she actually likes. She enjoys her company. She's working...while thousands of other Starbucks partners have been laid off. She can even keep her piercing...the company just asks that she cover it up (like with a tiny Band-aid) while working.

Maybe it's just me...but a policy that forbids showing a piercing at work? Not really worth arguing about in the grand scheme of things. I bet hundreds of laid off people would love her job and all it's perks (hello, health insurance! 401(k)! Discounted coffee!) in the current economy.

Change through transformation

The fact that I remember Kaitlyn's story or that I'm writing about it here may seem silly to you. But as I read it, it struck me as exemplifying how so many people (especially young adults like Kaitlyn and I ) sometimes try to create change.

Our generation may think it's noble to "buck the system", create our own rules, complain (to the wrong people!) and disregard rules or leaders we find irrelevant, unrealistic or just plain pointless.

But does that approach to creating change really work? And even if it does work, is it the optimal way to create change?
No.

One thing I'm recognizing lately is that those who bring about change best--whether it's history-making or just something that alters their families, companies or schools--transform systems and cultures. They don't usually fight, protest or break the rules--they become the best and brightest leaders and examples--from whatever "positions" they have.

A few transformational leaders…

I think President Obama is a transformational leader…and so is Sarah Palin. I don’t agree with either of them 100%, but I have to give both of them kudos for breaking through barriers of race, gender, economic background—to try and DO SOMETHING to change our government.

For example, President Obama could have been satisfied to say, “It’s unfair that we’ve never had an African-American president.” His criticism would have right…but it wouldn’t have changed anything. Instead, I think that disappointing statistic (and a passion to lead change) motivated him to succeed and transform America’s history.

In the Bible, Esther is one example of a transformational leader. I think Esther is often simply labeled by Christians as “beautiful” or “one who God used to save Israel.” Those things are true…but Esther was also a leader. Her beauty may have brought her to a position as queen, but it probably didn’t keep her there…or serve as the sole factor that allowed her to influence the king. She was a leader who had some brainpower, too—and used her position of leadership to transform an anti-Semitic culture and save her people.

Putting the pieces together…

In this post, I’ve talked about bringing about change through transformation. But that approach only works if you’re the one who wants change.

What about the cases where change just happens—and you’re just left to pick up the pieces? That’s my next topic…and one I’ve experienced a bit this year. Stay tuned…

Change - Part One: What a difference a year makes

If there's one word that could sum up the last year for me, it would be "change."

(Thanks, Mr. President, for the hint!)

I don't know about you, but the last 12 months have brought a lot of changes in my life ranging from stitches and scars (literally) to new family members (yes, I have a brother-in-law now!) to unexpected career turns.

And then there are the other changes in the lives of my friends, family members, church, office, the economy, our country…you name it…that in turn affect my relationship with these people, organizations and entities.

Being the artistic/analytical girl that I am (yeah, I’ll admit it’s kind of a weird combo—but it’s just me), I’ve been thinking about change a lot lately. So I’ll start sharing some of those thoughts with you in a little blog series…just in case you were wondering.

A few things I know for sure?

Change happens. And it happens all the time. There are changes I can’t control. There are others I can. Knowing the difference? Could change my life. (And maybe yours, too.)

Also crucial? Knowing how to lead change…or lead in the midst of change…and they’re not always the same either.

I’ve heard it said that, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” But I also believe that sometimes, “The more things stay the same, the more they desperately NEED to change.”

Change can be AMAZINGLY good, scary, overwhelming, exciting, life-altering, devastating, inspiring—and sometimes all of those things put together in a kaleidoscope of crazy we call “life”. Here’s to the adventure.

Love lesson from a crazy lady...and God

"You're really pretty...I just thought you should know that."

If it were a movie, I would have heard the line from a single Christian guy my age who I also found attractive (on multiple levels).

But it wasn't a movie. It was my life...which meant the line came from a crazy middle-aged woman yelling from across the street in the middle of downtown Tacoma...shouting at me or the two girls I was with?...I don't honestly know. :)

Laugh with me if you will, but so many people on this planet want to be noticed...not solely for the sake of recognition, but just to know that what we do...or who we are...matters to somebody else.

There are moments where I've tried to go the extra mile. At work, it happens when I take on an extremely tough (or dull) assignment with a tight deadline and, in the words of Tim Gunn, "make it work." In my personal life, I may wear extremely uncomfortable shoes, clothes or a certain hairstyle in an attempt to just look better...or perhaps catch the attention of a specific guy.

And guess what? Sometimes no one at work says "thank you" or the guy I was interested in doesn't appear to notice or even care.

I was thinking about that after my run-in with the crazy lady this week when I felt like God spoke to my heart...

"Sometimes I feel that way about you...like I'm here with you always and you don't notice Me or the things I've done."

Whoa.

I've heard it said that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. And when it comes to my relationship with God and what He wants, I know that's true (see Rev.3:16). He deserves so much more than I could ever offer...but I can give Him my best. My best is more than my money (though it does include that, too!)--it's my whole heart.

In the busyness (or challenging circumstances) of life, it can take effort to notice God's voice,
presence or blessings, but that doesn't mean He's absent, silent or not blessing me (hello--every day...every breath...is a gift).

Many people think that to please God, you have to be perfect. But now I think of it like the crazy lady's street shout out: even though the compliment was delivered through an imperfect person in a non-movie moment, it still meant something to me.

When I take notice of God and thank Him for who He is, it's usually not perfect. I probably don't notice everything (is that even possible?). I may not say all the right things at the right time. But I bet He still appreciates it.

Maybe to God, I'm a little like the crazy lady.

:)

Ready...or not?

"I'm ready, God, so ready."

Have you ever prayed like that?

I think for many of us, it's a last-ditch effort kind of prayer. It's the, "I'm still here, God, do you hear me?!? Do you see what I'm going through?!?" kind of prayer. It's probably a prayer of desperation--for that long-awaited job, spouse, financial stability, salvation of a close friend or relative, healing, relationship repair...you name it.

Last night I was reading a prayer that started like that in the Bible (David's prayer in Psalm 108 according to The Message version) but that's not what it was about...well, not exactly.

Here's how it goes:

I'm ready, God, so ready,

ready from head to toe.

Ready to sing,

ready to raise a God-song

"Wake, soul!"

...I'm thanking you, God,

out in the streets,

singing your praises

in town and country.

The deeper your love,

the higher it goes;

every cloud's a flag to your faithfulness.

Soar high in the skies, O God!

Cover the whole earth with your glory!

Whoa.

David's "I'm SO ready, God" was expressing his desperation to thank and praise God.But that's not where the story ends:

And for the sake of the one you love so much,

reach down and help me—answer me!

Hold up--David was desperate to praise God...when, at the same time, he was also desperate for help? He was psyched to thank God...when the answers weren't there yet? Wow.

Let's see how God responded to that:

That's when God spoke in holy splendor:

"Brimming over with joy,

I make a present of Shechem,

I hand out Succoth Valley as a gift.

Gilead's in my pocket,

to say nothing of Manasseh.

Ephraim's my hard hat,

Judah my hammer.

Moab's a scrub bucket—

I mop the floor with Moab,

Spit on Edom,

rain fireworks all over Philistia."

Translation? God's basically saying to David (a warrior), "I'm giving you new territory. I've got allies for you in my back pocket. And I'm taking out your enemies."

I kind of wish the prayer ended there.

But I'll be honest--I'm really glad it doesn't. Because it goes on to show a little bit more of David's humanity. After God spoke and basically said, "Don't worry--I'm taking care of you and your situation," David did what a lot of do...he kept on talking:

Who will take me to the thick of the fight?

Who'll show me the road to Edom?

You aren't giving up on us, are you, God?

refusing to go out with our troops?

David's questions here are interesting to me. He is the man after God's own heart--but he's also still a man. A human being. And like a lot of us, he doesn't just want God to answer--he wants the details. He doesn't just want to know what's going to happen...he wants to know how.

The prayer ends as David says:

Give us help for the hard task;

human help is worthless.

In God we'll do our very best;

he'll flatten the opposition for good.

The good news? In the end, David trusted God and admitted the limitations of humanity. However, I also love that David didn't let his limitations stop him from doing his part.

I hope reading this passage (and my little commentary along the way) encouraged you. I know looking closely at David's example and God's way of speaking and answering prayer in this passage was a good reminder for me--to focus on thanking God just for who He is, to listen, to trust His plan for my life and to do my best with whatever "hard task" I encounter.

Cool things (to love!) lately...

iTunes find: Listen to"You, the Night & Candlelight" by Dave Barnes. Original songs plus a sweet remix of "My Girl." It's short, but will leave you wanting more Barnes' music magic.

Cafe oh yay: Check out Circa in West Seattle. Cozy atmosphere? Check. Cheap prices? Check. The best sandwich I've ever tasted (Brie with bacon and fig aioli...trust me!)? Check.

Cause: Habitat for Humanity. If you're from Champions Centre, join us with the Justice Project on the 3rd Saturday of each month to work giving a home...not just a house...to someone in our community.

Chocolate cool: Chocolove candy bars come with a love poem inside (collective "Aww..." required). I recommend "Orange Peel in Dark Chocolate." So buy one for your sweetie. Or for yourself. Because they're just stinkin' good (and you can find them at Target, too!).

Coffee crush: Grab a tall, 1 pump cinnamon dolce mocha at Starbucks. Chocolate + cinnamon + coffee = True love. :)

Chick flick: "Confessions of a Shopaholic" is simple, pure fun. Go with your girls (spare your boyfriend or husband!) if you want to bond over beautiful clothes, crazy comedic moments and a love story.

Chick lit: "I Was Told There'd Be Cake" by Sloane Crosley. It's a collection of essays that will make you laugh. And if you like the movie, check out the Confessions of a Shopaholic series...there's definitely some hilarity there that can't translate to the screen.

Blog: The Recessionista is pretty much perfect for right now. Also, reading people's "25 things" lists on Facebook...you learn things about people you wouldn't normally guess. Some serious, some funny, but all interesting...because they reflect the lives of people you care about.

Bible story you should know (but maybe you don't): David, Nabal and Abigail (I Samuel 25). Great lessons about relationships...thanks, PK.

Cheap night in: Haven't tried this yet, but saw a Redbox nearby and had to look it up. Movie rentals for $1 per night.

Cheap day out: Head to Green Lake on a sunny day and just take a walk, run, or (dare I say it?) skate around. It's a good place to people watch, talk with friends, get some exercise or just enjoy Northwest weather.

Confessions of a traveler: Rent a car with GPS in unfamiliar locales. It may have changed my life. The one I had in L.A. gave these soothing, reaffirming dings when my driver chose the right moves...it was like winning points on a video game (not that I'm familiar with those, Mom). :)

Your office meets The Bachelor

“I just don’t think he sees the real me and all I have to offer,” she sobs. “I feel such a deep connection here, you know?”

Is she a contestant on The Bachelor? Or your cubicle neighbor confiding to an HR representative? In 2009, it’s hard to tell.

Is it strange that I’m comparing your oh-so-professional colleague to the sad caricatures on a reality TV show? Maybe. But perhaps there are a few things employees across America can learn from The Bachelor.

1. Look out for the claws…

On The Bachelor, contestants can get down-right mean. Believe it or not, some can be that way in the workplace, too (and I’m not talking about the Ghost of Pen-Stealing) . Your colleagues can damage your reputation, though they probably won’t pull your hair or throw a glass of champagne at you. (Well, unless you count that incident at the holiday party…but she was definitely drunk, trust me. Why else would she sing “Achy, Brachy Heart” in front of senior management?)

2. But focus on what you can control.

The best protection for the office claws? A team spirit demonstrated by your value for others. For example, instead of hitting “Reply all” on criticism of a colleague’s work, how about noting his positive contributions in a message to his boss? Be sincere. And perhaps someone else will return the favor.Other things you can control? Your attitude (practice saying, “Why yes, I LOVE TPS reports!” 10 times daily) and your contribution (actually completing those TPS reports).

3. Don’t dish about your “competition.”

Have you ever heard a whiney girl on The Bachelor complaining about someone else?

“Jen is just so…like…materialistic and into “stuff”, you know? She just doesn’t seem genuine. I don’t think she’s here for the right reasons… she’s not really here for you. By the way, did I tell you how much I’d REALLY love a Gucci purse for my birthday?!?”

Lesson learned.

4. Make the most of your one-on-ones.

When you meet with your boss or other managers, demonstrate a willingness to help them. Keep them informed of the work you’re doing and how it’s connected to the company’s goals. When appropriate, share ideas on new products, ways to keep or gain customers, or make things more efficient. It’s not about tooting your own horn, but focusing on the big picture issues of your organization and how you can make an impact (“I read about this new program that could help us complete TPS reports five times faster, giving us more time to focus on new sales.”).

5. “Will you accept this rose?” beats a pink slip.

Perhaps instead of handing out the proverbial pink slips, companies could hold mass rose ceremonies, celebrating the employees they’ve decided to keep? While this may be completely impractical, I do think it’s important for companies to think about celebrating their survivors.

At any organization facing layoffs, morale will be down, even among those left after layoffs. If the survivors represent talented people companies want to retain and attract, aren’t they worth some encouragement? And besides, “Jo, will you accept this rose?” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

6. Don’t cry (or spew your disgust) ‘til you get to the limo.

Have you ever seen the girl on The Bachelor who is crazy mad in love with the guy…until she’s dumped at the rose ceremony? Once dumped, she proceeds to unleash Snotfest 2009 on the poor chap while spewing remarks like, “I just thought you were completely wrong! You didn’t listen well! You didn’t get the chance to see the real me! And you kept Sarah?!? You are SO going to regret that!”

If you are ever laid off in the workplace, take a lesson from that chick. Do your best to contain the tide of tears. If you do cry at the office, refrain from spilling the other stuff…remember, your employer could be a good reference for you. And who knows? When the economy turns around or other positions open, you could end up working for there again.

7. Is it the “most dramatic” ever?!? Really?

If you’ve ever watched a season…okay, an episode…of The Bachelor, you’ve probably heard the announcer refer to the “most dramatic rose ceremony ever.” Typically, this happens at least once an episode. Likewise, if you are laid off, know that it may feel sad, depressing, or even devastating…but it’s not the end of the world. You’re still the same person. You still have the same family, friends, health and talents. And who knows? Maybe there’s a “stronger connection”, a better bachelor…er…job…out there for you.

Who am I...really?

"Who am I...really?" is a basic question that usually comes with not-so-basic answers. And I think it's a question many people...and even companies...are asking right now.

Take Starbucks, for example. It's a huge global company with thousands of employees, millions of customers and billions of dollars in revenue. But last month, I sat in a room with Starbucks' CEO Howard Schultz (yup, that's us pictured above!). It was a regular-sized Starbucks store with about 50 regular "Joe"s (and "Jo"s, too--if you count me!) in the middle of Lakewood, Washington--a town known for its strange mix of gangs, mansions and military.

Why was I there? Because Starbucks is searching. It's looking for ideas, feedback and even criticism from regular people--Starbucks is feeling a bit lost. For the first time in its history, Starbucks' profits are down, stores are closing and baristas are losing their jobs.

Likewise, I think there are many people in society--average "Joe"s and "Jo"s if you will--that have been shaken lately. They feel lost without their jobs, their savings, the "stuff" they can't afford anymore. Some have lost their foundation--a belief they could do anything themselves--or that money, a fancy title or "stuff" defined them.

In some ways, that questioning, that shaken spirit is frightening. It can be scary. But I also believe it could help people change their lives (or companies change their focus) for the better.

Why? Because sometimes we need to get back to asking and answering basic questions. Here's some that I hope people are considering:

• What do I believe?
  


• How are my beliefs reflected in my actions? In how I spend time? How I talk? How I spend money?
  


• What are my non-negotiables--the things I know for sure and won't compromise on?
  


• Who (or what) do I love...really?
  


• What am I passionate about? What are things I hate?
  


• What's my purpose?
  


• What are my strengths?
  


• What do I want to be remembered for?
  


• What do I need to get rid of?
  


• What do I need to change?

For those who love God, some of the questions should actually be phrased a bit differently. For example:

• What does the Bible say about who and what God is passionate about? Who does God love? What are things God loves? What are things God hates?
  


• What's God's purpose for this planet? For people? For the Church globally?
  


• What does the Bible say about how God views me?
  


• How can I partner with God--using the passion and strenghs He's given me--to fulfill His purpose?
  


• Is there something I need to change or give up, so that I can be the person God wants me to be?

I believe this season in history will have a serious impact on the destiny of people, companies and religions worldwide.

I hope that it's a season where Christians wake up, get a clue about who they are in Christ--and start living as people filled with love, hope and the confidence that comes from knowing the truth.

But this is not a time to be solely focused on ourselves. It's not a time to stay inwardly focused--because plenty of liars, false religions, cheap imitations of love and pleasure--will be on the prowl trying to "save" people as well.

Most importantly, I pray that we as Christians will be bold enough to start helping others ask the questions, search for answers and find truth in Christ and a family of believers (called the Church).

People are searching. This is a serious time for real questions...but it is also an opportunity to find real answers.

One thing I know for sure? Live the questions by pursuing truth with all you've got. Because God is the source of truth. And knowing Him--and the truth of His Word--is the only way to find freedom.

Starbucks quote of the day: Interesting for young adults beginning our careers

"Failure's hard, but success is far more dangerous. If you're successful at the wrong thing, the mix of praise and money and opportunity can lock you in forever."

Po Bronson, author of "What Should I Do With My Life?"

Hold out

Okay, I'll admit it--I'm a word nerd. For better or for worse, words and phrases often crack me up, make me cringe, or make me think.

Case in point (and maybe I've blogged about this before?), the investment firm I work for recently created a new service for clients dubbed "exposure management." Whenever I hear the term, I think it sounds like a service Britney Spears should hire us for :)

[In actuality, it has to do with something real (and probably boring-sounding to most of you) like giving our clients exposure to the stock and bond markets without trading physical securities.]

But back to the point--as a word nerd, sometimes when I hear or read things, specific words and phrases stand out or create pictures in my mind.

Last week at Anthem young adults' network, our speaker, Jodi, read this passage. It's one I've heard and read a million times before. But this time, something new stood out:

"Do everything

without complaining

or arguing,

so that you may become blameless and pure,

children of God

without fault

in a crooked and depraved generation,

in which

you shine

like stars

in the universe

as you hold out

the word of life—

in order that I may boast

on the day of Christ

that I did not run

or labor

for nothing.

(Philippians 2:14-16, NIV)

As you can probably tell by the bold text above, the phrase "hold out" captured my attention this time. I thought it seemed a bit odd...because most often, we "hold in" or "throw out" things.

When it comes to faith, I think many of us take that approach--we hold in by keeping our relationship with God close to our hearts, personal--but not living it out in our lives or sharing Christ with others.

On the flip side, sometimes we may throw out our faith. I've seen this happen two ways--there are some who throw out their faith like they're launching a massive snowball attack on everyone they meet--you know, telling random strangers they're going to hell or constantly talking in Christianese to their co-workers.

Others throw out their faith by discarding it--perhaps by being a Christian only when it's convenient or knowing the right things to do and choosing to live their lives on a different path anyway.

But this passage tells us to hold out the word of truth. When I think of that phrase, I have a picture in my mind--of holding out my arms to shake someone's hand or hug them. For a moment, it feels kind of awkward. Because by holding out, I am open. I have to bold and take a first step...which means I am a bit vulnerable (read more about that topic in an earlier post here). I'm putting a bit of myself on the line. At the same time, my open hands or open arms aren't forceful. The other person can choose to accept my handshake or hug...or they can choose to walk away.

I think sharing our faith is similar--it's about living as an example for Christ on this planet. It's about loving people...which may mean talking with them about God, but it also could mean just being an incredible friend, employee or family member...and letting the talking come later.

Personally, I don't always have this down, but I'm thankful for God's little reminders. Even if it's just because I'm a self-admitted word nerd, I love that we can always find new things to grasp on in God's Word.

Related posts:

• Be brilliant
  
• Speak up and remember
  
• The power of your presence

All the lonely people

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from ?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

("Eleanor Rigby" - The Beatles)

Loneliness. It's not a topic I've tackled in this blog yet, but it's something I've thought about this week. [And I PROMISE not to make this post depressing, but hopefully thought-provoking, (dare I say it?) entertaining and encouraging...so let's get back to the point.]

The lyrics of "Eleanor Rigby" (and my fave Doxology remix) came to mind this week as I was talking with people, at church, watching movies, reading, shopping, hanging out at restaurants...you name it. I've just realized how much loneliness impacts people of all kinds...and not many are really talking about it. And I think we should be.

Here are a few things I've learned about loneliness:

• Loneliness impacts people in different ways.
  
  When I think of the stereotypical lonely person, I picture a Crazy Cat Lady surrounded by 10 cats, lots of stuffed animals and wearing a Snuggie. But a lonely person could be a bikini barista who sells coffee and a bit of her self-respect to get some attention from a guy. A lonely person could be a guy who "falls in love" with a different girl each week. It could be that guy who sits in Starbucks surrounded by people for hours with a laptop. And on some days, a lonely person could be the one you and I see in the mirror.
  
  I think that in their lonely moments, some people retreat--they stay at home, they write music, they read. Others suddenly become extreme extroverts--they serial date or they are constantly so "busy" they have no time to think. I've seen loneliness drive girls to relationships with loser guys, drive guys to alcohol addictions, push married people toward affairs...you name it
  
  The whole point is that lonely people come in all types and it's not easy to pinpoint who is lonely and who isn't...some just might like cats and Snuggies (and in case you're wondering, that's not me!...but I don't discriminate). :)
  
  
• Lonely people sometimes have lots of friends.
  
  This may sound like an oxymoron to some people, but some of the loneliest people I've ever met or seen have lots of "friends."
  
  The problem? Having lots of friends doesn't make you fulfilled. And "lots of friends" doesn't equal good, solid, "no matter what" friendships.
  
  Take Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears, for example. They have lots of people that "LOVE!!!" them. Millions of people know who they are and want to be like them--but they've both gone through a series of failed relationships, battled addictions...you name it (hello, Sinead O'Connor look!)--why? I think (and they've both said stuff similar to this themselves) at the core, they were looking for love and couldn't find it in another person, purse or pill.
  
  This may sound cliche, but I believe that in all of us, there's a piece of our hearts designed for God. And sometimes we look to other things or people to fill it--and they can't.
  
  
• Single people aren't the only ones who are lonely.
  
  Similar to the second point--but I thought it's worthwhile to point out that people who are married or in dating relationships can get lonely. But even a great husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend can't fill all our relationship needs...for God, yes, but also for healthy relationships with others.
  

Loneliness may not be the greatest feeling in the world...but I think it's something everyone faces at some point in their lives. The key is how we respond to it.

Some Christians will also say the cliche things like, "God is more than enough. He's all I need." Ultimately, this is true...but God also created us for relationships with others. And on the flip side, sometimes being by yourself can be healthy--you can focus on your relationship with God, your goals for the future, or reflect on changes you may need to make in your life.

To some extent, I think a healthy response to loneliness is about balance and attitude. Or perhaps just being observant to share love, light and friendship to "all the lonely people" who may be in your world.

The God who gets me

"You just don't understand!"

It's the mantra of (almost) every teenager, but underneath the classic teen angst, I think most of us are expressing a deep heart cry--to be understood, to have people in our lives who really get us for who we are. I think it's a desire that outlives our acne--it's something that sticks with us all of our lives.

The past few weeks at Anthem Young Adults' Network, we've been talking about how Jesus is Immanuel--God with us. I've heard that since I was a little girl in Sunday School listening to the Christmas story recited by older kids in retired bath robes who also played "Jingle Bells" on their kazoos.

But this season, I heard it--Jesus is Immanuel, God with us--in a fresh way. Maybe it was partly due to an incredible video or a message or just thinking about different life experiences I've had or gone through with friends and family.

It's interesting to really think of Jesus as God with us--the God who gets you and me. After Anthem, I went home and started making a list of some of the ways He can relate to you and me and our experiences on this planet. It's by no means a comprehensive list--but here's what I have so far:

• Jesus had parents.
  
• Jesus had siblings (at least one--James, son of Mary and Joseph).
  
• But in a way, Jesus was also an only child (God's only Son).
  
• Jesus went to school.
  
• Jesus went to church (synagogue).
  
• At times in His life, Jesus followed others and submitted to their imperfect authority (even though He was perfect God in flesh!).
  
• Jesus also knew what it meant to lead.
  
• Jesus probably felt a bit different sometimes--like people didn't get Him.
  
• But He also fit in and hung out with lots of types of people--rich, poor, scholars, sinners, men, women, etc.
  
• Jesus knew what it was like to have great friends.
  
• Jesus knew what it was like to be betrayed by a friend.
  
• Jesus had a job--he worked as a carpenter until he was 30.
  
• Jesus was single.
  
• Jesus knew what it was to be unnoticed or undervalued.
  
• Jesus knew what it was like to be in the spotlight, followed by thousands. [ Random rabbit trail, but I kind of smiled when I thought about this--I wonder if Jesus was ever the "It" bachelor of Nazareth? If my mom had been around back then, she would have said to me, "He builds things! He treats his mother well! He likes kids! He's practically perfect...what's not to like?" :) ]
  
• Jesus celebrated and had fun.
  
• Jesus cried.
  
• Jesus had close friends who were sick.
  
• Jesus experienced the death of at least one close friend (Lazarus--before He brought him back to life!) and a parent (Joseph).
  
• Jesus spoke out against injustice.
  
• Jesus showed kindness and bestowed dignity on outcasts in society (women, Samaritans, lepers...and more).
  
• Jesus hung out with people who were really lost.
  
• Jesus challenged hypocrisy.
  
• Jesus forgave others.
  
• Jesus loved deeply.

There's probably a million more. But how miraculous is it that I get to serve a perfect, all-knowing, all-powerful God who can personally relate with my life? A God who doesn't just know what I feel (good or bad), but can actually empathize with my tough experiences and celebrate my happiness?

Wow. I wonder how people--how I--would live if we really knew and daily recognized that's the kind of God we can actually get to know?

I hope that this lesson of the true gift of Christmas--Immanuel, God with us--the God who gets us--stays close to your heart and mine this season.

Much love to you.

You have 5 minutes to make a difference

Five minutes.

That's all the time I spent with one little girl on Saturday...one little girl who I hope I remember forever.

This past Saturday, I was volunteering as a face painter with the Justice Project at a registration day for Operation Blessing, our church's annual Christmas party for low income kids in the Tacoma/Pierce County area. Hundreds of kids showed up with their parents to write "Dear Santa..." letters requesting Christmas gifts, hoping to receive something this holiday season. But at Champions Centre, we wanted the whole experience to be fun--to help each child feel special and loved throughout the entire process.

Enter free facepainting. :)

"What do you want to be?" I asked each child who came to my station.

"Hold your head up higher," I said over and over throughout the morning to boys and girls accustomed to looking toward the floor at secondhand tennis shoes.

"What are you hoping for this Christmas?"

The answers to the last question varied--from High School Musical CDs to bikes to Nintendo Wii.

But the girl I won't forget was different. Her answer?

"A bed." She answered quickly, simply.

When she said it, my heart hurt.

But I realized she was not looking for my pity. So I offered what I have--my hope.

"I really hope Santa brings that for you this year. Now take a look in the mirror--you're a princess!"

Her brown eyes widened and a smile brightened her face.

I may not have done much in five minutes--but hopefully telling a little girl to hold her head higher and to believe she could be a princess meant something. I don't think I changed her life in five minutes--but she changed mine.

Quote of the day...from a smart guy

"Not everything that can be counted counts,

not everything that counts that can be counted."

- Albert Einstein

Taking responsibility...seriously

"I'm taking responsibility--

for my thoughts, my actions, my words.

For how I spend my time and my money.

And I'm taking responsibility for my personal relationships."

When was the last time you heard anything like this from a politician, business executive, pastor or professor?



The more important question? When was the last time you said or thought anything like this yourself?



Ouch! For most of us, the word "responsible" isn't fun. It sounds boring. It sounds serious. And maybe it is--but responsibility is important.


In this crazy world of political firestorms, moral failures and economic uncertainty, it is far too easy to play the blame game. It's also easy to become so overwhelmed that you feel powerless to do anything at all.


Here's the good news: you and I may not be in control of everything--but we can be in charge of some things.


This post I want to challenge us (I'm included here, too!) to be personally responsible for the some things we can control. Here are some questions, thoughts, facts and ideas for us both to consider:

• Why do I think the way I think?
  
  This question sounds pretty basic. But sometimes, our perspectives are so ingrained that we forget what they're based on. In the last few months, I've heard good people I care about say things ranging from, "Men are pigs" to "Women are crazy." I've heard "Democrats are evil" and "Right-wing religious people are so ignorant." For the record, I don't personally agree with any of those statements...but when I've heard them from others, I've wanted to ask them this simple question, "Why?"
  
  Often, we think certain things simply because we always have. Maybe because we were hurt in the past. Or we believe something simply because our families raised us to think that way.
  
  And maybe what you and I think is actually right--I personally just feel it's important to own what you think--and to really understand what it's grounded in.
  
  [Important sidenotes for Christians: In the quest to know why you think what you think, you're probably going to look at the Bible for guidance (and I hope you do). The Bible has a lot to say about topics I've heard discussed recently--answers for questions like, "How does God view the poor? The rich? Whose job is it to help those in need?", "How does the Bible talk about the role of government (kings)?", "What's God's perspective on men? Women?" or "How does the Bible talk about work? Money? My life's purpose?"
  
  But the Bible is referred to as a sword for a reason--its truth is sharp and can pierce your heart--or it can be dangerous if you view it through the lens of, "How can I use Scripture to prove my point?" (See "Google faith" post.) I'm not going to use this post to tell you what I think (that kind of defeats the point of encouraging you to take responsibility for it yourself!), but I would challenge you to look at the Bible honestly--and if you have questions, to talk with Christian leaders you respect.]
  
• How do I spend my time?
  
  Time is one resource that's distributed equally to every living person on this planet--we all have 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week and 365 days each year. But what are we doing with it?
  
  If you asked most people about their goals, you'd hear, "Spending more time with my family", "Building stronger relationships", "Growing in my faith," "Helping people in need" or "Getting in shape."
  
  But do we make time to pursue the things that really matter to us?
  
  A lot of people end up wasting time...watching TV, surfing the Internet, staying in the wrong job...instead of viewing time as an asset to help them reach their goals. I'm not advocating a life of constant busyness (that's stressful!), but taking responsibility for how you use your time (and yes, sleep can be good and healthy, too). :)
  
• How do I spend my money?

This is an interesting question for a lot of people right now. And if you know me, you know I love my Starbucks and fashion bargains...but I could not in good conscience spend money on those things without prioritizing the things that matter so much more. For one, tithing (yup, a full 10%) and giving additional offerings to my church. When it comes down to it, that's a non-negotiable spending commitment every Christian should take serious responsibility for....with a smile (because it is so rewarding!).

[If you're a pastor or leader reading this--don't be shy about telling your members how important giving is, what a difference it makes or even how their money is spent. (See also "The Emmys, the Bible and the grace of giving") I think some people honestly have no idea...or don't think about...how much it takes to pay electric bills, support missionaries or help children in the community. Be straight-up honest and real with us. It's important.]

I also believe in giving to other causes I care about that are making a difference in our community (a personal fave charity is the Washington Women's Employment and Education association).

And it sounds basic...but paying bills is important. I believe in avoiding interest charges by paying off credit cards every month (which means not over charging!). And if you can't do that yet, start paying more than the minimums...and avoid extra spending.

Beyond that? Personally, I think it's important to save for my future and retirement (yes, working at a financial services company has really helped me to see how important it is to start...and to start early).

The bottom line? Real change starts with you and me individually--taking personal responsbility for our perspectives, our time and our wallets. Let's not worry about stuff we can't control. Let's not put all of our faith in John McCain or Barack Obama. Let's put our trust in God--and our God-given ability to make choices. Let's start to take responsibility...seriously.

Women and politics

I'm thankful for Hillary Clinton.

I'm thankful for Sarah Palin.

I know those two ideas seem contradictory--or maybe shocking to some of you. Let's be clear--I don't agree 100% with either candidate. But I hope both of them have helped pave the way for female leaders--in politics, in business, in non-profits and more.

It's not that I don't respect or value male leaders--I do. And I'm not some wild and crazy feminist pushing for women to rule the world no matter what their qualifications or values. But I think women have something unique to bring to the table, the boardroom, the pulpits and the podiums across the globe.

Do I think the glass ceilings are gone? All it takes is a look at the campaigns and media portrayals of Clinton and Palin to see that the glass ceilings for female leaders still exist in 2008.

Female leaders have been judged more on their personalities than their platforms--Clinton is labeled "too tough" and "too harsh," while Palin is "too folksey."

They've been judged more on their looks than their records--critiqued for their suits, hairstyles and eyeware. At one point (the early Clinton years), Hillary was "too plain" or "kind of nerdy", while Sarah has been dubbed "a hot babe" and "Caribou Barbie."

Part of me wonders if it is a "glass ceiling" or more of a "sticky floor"? In other words, are women held back by male chauvinism or do we hold ourselves back?

Here are some things I think we as women can do to help ourselves and each other:

1. Stop critiquing women you like or don't like based on their appearance. (And if you are a woman, include yourself in this category.)

2. For every compliment you give another woman on her appearance, think of something else you can compliment about her skill, talent, leadership ability, character, etc.

3. Know that you have something to contribute to whatever sphere of influence you have. If you're invited to a business meeting, speak up and share your ideas. You are a unique person with distinct talents, skills and knowledge to bring to your role--as a friend, employee, volunteer, wife, mother, etc. Statistically, a lot of women have strong "people insight," the ability to see the big picture, think creatively, express themselves well verbally--if you have these skills, use them.

4. Have confidence in your leadership ability. I've seen some female leaders who, instead of making small decisions they're capable and empowered to make, constantly second-guess themselves or try polling others--when their team members are thinking, "Can't they just make a decision?!?"

5. Learn how to delegate or challenge the status quo when appropriate. Sometimes saying, "I don't think doing X makes sense for our organization. Here's why..." can save your organization money, time and resources. Yet often, women seem to feel as if they are "order takers" who have to go along doing the grunt work for whatever task their (predominantly male) managers request.

On the flip side, sometimes managers are thankful to be challenged on their thinking--your diverse opinion and creative ideas may be a huge asset to them. I've heard some say things to the effect of, "I hadn't thought about that perspective before...but that approach really makes sense."

6. Don't be afraid to try new things. More than men, I think women can be held back by their own fear a and downplay their stengths--a deadly combination. "I can't apply for that job because I don't have the degree required" or "I can't go to college now. I have kids." If you have a desire or a dream to do something new, go for it. A lot of guys seem to have this competitive, know-how spirit (at least in the workplace) that helps them to advance--maybe it's the same trait that causes them not to ask for directions when they're lost on trips. :) I think we as women can learn something from their confident approach to tacking challenging situations.

7. Encourage and help other women to succeed. If you are a leader, be a mentor to the next generation of women. Help them to learn from your mistakes or challenges. Listen to them and encourage them.

Who knows? Maybe we can clean up that sticky floor.

Fun Starbucks cup quote of the day

"When I was young I was misled by flash cards

that xylophones and zebras were much more common."

- Amy-Elyse Neer (Artist & Starbucks customer, San Jose, CA)