P.S. I Love You

What makes a good love story? Chemistry? Romance? Fun and laughter? Probably a mix of all those things together.

I think a good love story has to have some element of truth in it--something that speaks to the viewer/reader about what love in its most perfect form is supposed to be.

This past week, I saw the movie P.S. I Love You starring Hillary Swank (and no, I'm not going to give it all away!). It's about a widow whose deceased husband writes letters for her to find and read after his death (yeah, I know--kind of morbid). As most chick flicks are, it was a bit predictable and kind of sappy--but it definitely had that truth factor going on, so I thought I'd talk a little about it.

What's the truth factor in P.S. I Love You?

Hillary's movie husband was cute and charming (and did I mention he sang, too?!?). But his most attractive quality (and the truth about love from the movie)? He saw her.

He saw Hillary's character in all of her beauty and quirky imperfections--and chose to love her. He saw her better than she saw herself, encouraged her to dream and to live the full life she was meant to live.

(Rabbit trail for other chick flick fans only: You may notice that this is the same "truth factor" about love that's seen in Runaway Bride--you know, where Julia Roberts doesn't even know what kind of eggs she likes and Richard Gere notices and calls her out on it? Or in Bridget Jones when Mark Darcy tells Bridget "I like you just the way you are.")

That sounds nice and all--but what does it have to do with me?

Everything. Okay, maybe not really, but I'll explain ...

Think about how most people love--a career, church or person. Most people see only the good and the beautiful at first. Everything's rosy, polished and going well. And then some of those quirky imperfections pop up--and the "love" they felt seems to disappear.

But think about how God loves us. He sees us as we really are (the unpolished, unairbrushed versions of ourselves), complete with beauty and quirky imperfections--and chooses to love us anyway.

That's pretty amazing. Kind of miraculous, actually.

But ... if God sees all we are and loves us with "no matter what" kind of commitment, if that's what real love is supposed to be, isn't that the way we should love others?

P.S. I love you.

(Translation: I'm trying to see the real you, encourage you to dream and to live the best life you've been designed to live. And I'm definitely not perfect, so I may not be all that amazing at this real love thing. But I'm working on it.)

A few of my favorite things...uh...posts

As the year 2007 comes to an end, I thought it might be fun to compile a list of some of my favorite posts (in no particular order) from this year. So enjoy...and have a very Merry Christmas and unbelievable 2008!

• Random Things I'm Thankful For - Part 1 and Part 2
  
  
• Expect the Unexpected
  
  
• Why the Puyallup Fair Makes Me Smile
  
  
• My Secret Life as a Funeral Crasher
  
  
• What NOT to say to Christian Singles
  
  
• Things I Don't Understand
  
  
• The Can We Just Talk? series (Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3)
  
  
• 10 Things Christian Guys Should Know About Dating
  
  
• Why are we herding ourselves?

For the complete 2007 archive, check out my page on Blogger.

Arranged Love?

For some reason, last week I found myself watching an MTV documentary about twentysomething Americans considering arranged marriage (yes, in 2007!).

Some were drawn to the idea because of their religion, culture or family. But one of the girls caught my attention when she said something to the effect of, "I'm 25 and I've tried meeting someone on my own, but it hasn't worked, so I thought I'd try this arranged marriage thing." She said it as if arranged marriage is simply another option for finding the person to spend the rest of your life with.

Is love supposed to be arranged?

As I watched the documentary, I actually wondered, "Is this really that different?" and even stranger, "Is love supposed to be arranged?"

Think about it--how many single Americans have been on a blind date, tried online dating or been set-up by friends? Some of my friends have found their husbands through some of these methods ... and others have simply found amazing (and sometimes strangely bizarre!) stories.

Many people believe in the idea of destiny, fate, signs that lead to love. And as Christians, I think a lot of us believe that God designed someone for us ... that He "arranges" our steps to bring us together. Even in non-romantic love, God arranges our families and puts us together with certain people (sometimes neighbors, teammates, co-workers) for a purpose.

But (in the words of DC Talk) isn't love a verb? :)

The flip side is that most of us would agree that love ... in all of its various forms ... takes work. It means daily decisions. Daily action.

It would be silly to think, for example, "I can tell my parents I love them once and then forget about it" or "God has a great job for me. He'll provide ... I'll just sit here on the couch and wait for the job to come to me."

So ... what's the bottom line?

I'm SO not an expert at this stuff--but I guess it's probably a mix of both ideas--"arrangement" and action--that makes love work.

In a lot of ways, I'm a bit skeptical of the whole arranged love thing. Even this past month, I've had two different people say to me (about two different guys), "I know this great guy who could be a great match for you ..."

But as scary as it seems, I have to be open to possibility--and really trust who (or Who) is doing the arranging.

"Casual Sex," The ...But Guy and Enchanted

I like Oprah. And I like O Magazine ... usually.

Yesterday I received the January issue in the mail. And I'll confess--one article made me both sad and quite frankly, mad (and you thought I couldn't get angry).

The O Article That Ticked Me Off

In "Live Your Best Love Life!", Linda from Rhode Island said, "My dilemma is that I still love my ex, who I dated for nine years." She then goes on to basically ask, "I'm now thinking of using my ex as a booty call ... or maybe it's time to try self-satisfaction?"

The answer of columnist Cindy Chupack? "The beauty of the booty call is its simplicity ... how does love factor into this? It doesn't!" Chupack then goes on to say, "The perfect booty call is someone who's great but" ... meaning basically someone who's safe ... but someone that you don't really want to marry or love. And if a " ... but" man isn't available? Chupack says "self-love" (masturbation) is "not a last resort; it's essential."

Can you hear me yell now?

Casual Sex: Does It Really Exist?

There's no such thing as casual sex--just like there's no such thing as casual naked Fridays at the office.

Sex always has meaning--it's supposed to. I think saying you can have sex without meaning is like saying you can Christmas without music, dessert without chocolate or an amazing car without tires. It's empty--it's missing something it's designed to have.

Sex has meaning because it always reveals how we feel--about another person or ourselves.
I think Linda from Rhode Island was really saying, "I'm still in love with my ex, but I know he doesn't want to have a relationship with me. If I have 'casual sex' with him, at least I'd have something--right?"

But by having 'casual sex'--with her ex or, as Chupack suggested, a " ... but" man or herself, Linda would be settling for something less than what she wants. She would be cheapening herself, a man and sex itself by choosing any of these options.

Sacred Sex, Enchanted and the ...But Guy

I believe sex is beyond meaningful--it's sacred. So why do so many adults settle for "casual sex"?

They are "looking for love (and meaning) in all the wrong places" ... and after casual sex, will end up feeling more lonely, more lost, than ever.

I believe sex is designed to be shared by a married man and woman. I know this sentence might sound extreme. Society tries to tell us sex without marriage is normal--and this article even tries to tell us that sex without love is normal.

But I know I'm not alone. There are many people who want to believe in the sacredness of sex. It's why we find it horrific when children are sexually abused--a violation of the sacred. It's why most states don't allow prostitution--the business of treating something sacred as a commodity. And it's why fairy tale love stories will always be popular (hence, the #1 movie in the country at the moment, Enchanted).

I can hear some guys think, "Yeah, but it's different for guys. Sex doesn't have to have meaning." Are you sure? Do any men really want to be considered some woman's " ... but" guy? I doubt it. A guy deserves to be with the one woman on the planet who thinks he is not a " ... but" guy, but the it guy, the forever guy.

Sex has meaning, but it can never give you meaning. It's an expression of love, but it's not how you find the perfect kind of love every human being is looking for. That kind of meaning and love is only found in God.

I don't have to feel cheap, empty or settle for something less than what I believe is possible. And neither do you.

Special Note: If you're someone who's reading this and says, "That's great for you, but I've already had sex outside marriage"--don't lose heart. I'm not saying that you are cheap or empty.

On the contrary, I'm saying you're priceless. You deserve better.

Even if you've messed up in the past when it comes to sex, you don't have to mess up your future. Start fresh. God can forgive you of your past, but you have to make a choice to define your destiny. It may not be easy--but the best things in life rarely are.

Cool Song Lyrics

All week long I've been listening to the Goo Goo Dolls' greatest hits in my car. I really liked some of the lyrics from one song I hadn't heard before called "Before It's Too Late," so I thought I'd share them here (and for all my Champions' Centre friends, these kind of go along with the "No Limits" series):

And the risk that might break you

Is the one that would save

A life you don't live is still lost

...and some other cool words from another part of the song:

So live like you mean it

Love 'til you feel it

It's all that we need in our lives

The Right Stuff

As I write the title of this post, I'm thinking a little about my days as a New Kids on the Block fan back in the fourth grade (sing with me--Oh oh oh oh oh...).

But more than that, I'm thinking about the importance of the right timing. At small group this week, we were talking about one of God's promises for those who tithe--to protect us from doing the right thing at the wrong time.

To be honest, I don't think I ever realized this was one of God's promises. I've prayed before for "the right things at the right time"--especially when it comes to big decisions about my career, relationships, college or finances.

But I don't think I actually saw "the right things at the right time" as a promise I could stand on. And there's definitely a difference.

If I had my way, I would have "the right things right now" (See "The Waiting Game" post for more on that). But I'm not God--and "right now" might be all wrong.

Thank God He's smarter than me. We can trust in His promises and protection.

I actually have specific stories in my life where He has protected me from having the right thing at the wrong time...and there are probably a countless amount of other examples I don't even know about.

It's pretty cool to think about, actually--so much cooler than me in my leggings, slap bracelet (does anyone remember those?) and flourescent t-shirt rollerskating around singing "Oh oh oh oh oh. The right stuff" along with Jordan, Joey and the NKOTB gang back in the day. I guess there's a right time for everything--and that time has definitely passed. :)

The Day My Cat Caught On Fire

Thanksgiving is supposed to be a sane holiday ... but not at my parents' house this year. Thanksgiving 2007 will be forever remembered as the day our cat caught on fire. Really.

It started out as a typical Thanksgiving--a house full of people, great food and laughter.

But some time between dinner and dessert, one of my parents' cats decided to jump up on their piano. This is not normally a hazardarous event. But this Thanksgiving, my Mom decided to light some candles amidst the decorations on top of it.

I didn't actually see the tail of the cat in a blaze of glory, but I sure smelled it. It was enough to make my uncle--hypnotized by one of the football games on my Dad's new HDTV--actually get up off the couch.

But the cat survived--and I guess that's just one more thing we can all be thankful for.

Random Things I'm Thankful For - 2

It's almost Thanksgiving ... and time to celebrate some of the things I'm grateful for. Of course I LOVE my family (they pretty much rock!), friends, church and career. But today I thought I'd blog about more of the random things I'm thankful for at the moment.

(And if you missed my first list--including my smiling dog--you can see it here: "Random Things I'm Thankful For").

Here's the new list:



Snow



Encouraging text messages

Birthdays - Because everybody needs their own holiday. I think I probably have about 10 family members or friends with b-days in October and November ... but I love to celebrate all of them.




Peppermint hot chocolate or mochas - If I'm at Starbucks, I'll typically just ask for 1 pump of peppermint in my non-fat versions of these drinks. If I'm at home, I might make my own ghetto versions with some crushed candy canes.



The Dunder Mifflin Web Site - This just makes me smile-- it's a fake Web site for the fictional paper company featured on The Office. Check out the store (under "Corporate" and "Shop")--I definitely have at least one friend (and fellow Office fan) who will be receiving a "Dundie Award Winner" coffee mug this Christmas. :)

People who smile

Christmas music (well, except for "The Little Drummer Boy") - I like a wide variety--from Boyz II Men and Mariah Carey to Diana Krall (jazz) and Nat King Cole ... and maybe even a little Alvin and the Chipmunks (thank you, '80s childhood!).

Facebook - Because it helps me stay in touch with friends ... from Malawi to London (yes, really) ... and helped my mini TWU 3F-dorm reunion happen.

Good customer service

Lip gloss

Creativity - Thank God there are so many different people in the world who create things that are mind-boggling to me ... or just simply just useful like ...

Post-it notes - They keep me sane and organized at the office.

Secret Santas - I love giving (and getting) fun random little gifts and notes at the office.

Monk e-mails - Oh my word - this Web site is seriously fun! You can customize your own funny and quirkly e-cards for friends, co-workers, whoever--even with personalized audio. So cool.

Apathy and Contentment: What's the Difference?

"There are things Christians should hate.

We should be intolerant of some things.

People have this picture of Christianity that is all nice and warm and fuzzy--

but if there are some things God hates, we should hate them, too."

It was not a typical Sunday message (but then again, most things at my church aren't very typical). As our pastor was preaching, I started thinking about some of the things God hates, but that many Christians tolerate--and based on a few conversations I had last week, apathy came to the top of my list. Here's why:


Apathy is deceptively dangerous.


When most of us think of things God hates, we think of the 7 deadly sins or things we're commanded not to do in the 10 Commandments. On the surface, apathy doesn't seem as bad as murder or greed, for example. But sin is sin. And apathy could actually be the chief cause of other sins in our lives. Think about this:

• Apathy robs us from daring to be the people God has called us to be.
  


• Apathy can be a root cause of greed--a kind of greed that says, "I'm okay with what I've got and what I give today." (Notice the emphasis on I versus a giving heart to help others).


• Apathy stops us from standing up to injustice.
  


• Apathy silences us when we should speak up.
  


• Apathy keeps us in our comfort zones.
  


• Apathy hinders us from forming new friendships or relationships.
  


• Apathy is a form of selfishness--it's a focus on what's convenient, safe and easy for me alone.
  


• Apathy stops us from helping others.

"But I'm not apathetic. I'm just content."

Gosh, that sounds spiritual ... but how do you know if it's true?

"Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith.
Don't drift along taking everything for granted."
(2 Corinthians 13:5 - The Message)

Contentment is about gratitude (fitting, since this is the week of Thanksgiving!). It's about recognizing what you have today comes from God. It is impossible to be both apathetic and grateful. Contentment is also about hope--it's about hoping for God's best for your life and for others.

Here's another way to look at the difference between contentment and apathy. Let's imagine that you're married. You would probably be glad if your spouse said that he/she was "content" with your relationship, but continually working to make it stronger. But if your spouse started to become apathetic about your relationship, I don't think either of you would be happy.

Apathy leads to a "drift along" kind of life that may feel empty or meaningless. It's a life void of passion, challenge or a sense of purpose. That's a kind of life I'd hate to live ... and I think God would probably hate for any of us to live that way, too.

Let's be grateful for where we're at, but passionately driven toward purpose. Because that's the only way we can really make a difference.

Quote of the Day: Opportunity

Opportunity comes by being open—to people, ideas and information.

Expect the Unexpected.

I used to live in a barn.
I went on a date with the Bachelor.
I once was a nun.
And I love crazy rides at amusement parks.

Sound surprising? These things are all true about me (and perhaps with a bit of backstory, they may seem more realistic to you).

For the most part, my life makes sense. I'm kind of a "you get what you see" kind of person. And that's okay. But there's part of me that likes to surprise people--that likes some sort of mystery (maybe it was all those Nancy Drew books I read growing up).

Expecting the Unexpected from God?

Sometimes I wonder if God is like that, too. Yes, He's the same today, yesterday and forever. He always keeps His promises. He's always just, always perfect and always holy.

But God is also full of grace--and by definition, grace is surprising. It's undeserved, unexpected. And real love is like that, too--it can catch you off guard. When I've experienced that kind of love from God, my family and friends, sometimes it hits me like, "Whoa! What did I ever do to experience something this amazing?" And the truth is, I could never really do anything to deserve love. Love in its purest form is not about deserving, it's about giving.

Living the Unexpected

So maybe I should rewind a bit and tell you how I started thinking about this topic. A few weeks ago, I was reading during my normal devotional time and saw these verses. And then I heard them again the next week at G2 (church young adults' group). Maybe God was trying to get my attention?

Anyway, I think sometimes we all can get stuck in boxes of expectations--for God, for ourselves, for other people. Yes, those boxes can come from outside influences like family, friends, acquaintances and the media. But most often, they are boxes we've built ourselves.

Don't get me wrong--I know that living a Christian life comes with some boundaries designed to protect me and bring God's best into my life. But those boundaries are miniscule compared to the great, expansive life of freedom that God has called us to--and that's what these verses are about, so I'll let you read them--and dare you to expect the unexpected in your own life.

2 Corinthians 6:11-13

I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life.

We didn't fence you in.

The smallness you feel comes from within you.

Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way.

I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection.

Open up your lives.

Live openly and expansively!

Why I Love the Elderly

"That will be $10.83," said the cashier, an elderly woman in her seventies, as she rang up my new pair of earrings.

I swiped my debit card and entered my PIN as if on autopilot (which is probably kind of scary!). The cashier turned to hand me the receipt and the bag containing my new earrings, when she stopped abruptly and said, "Oh my! You're attractive."

"Thank you," I replied and then joked back, "It's too bad a nice single guy isn't telling me that."

"Well," she said in a sassy style, "There must be something wrong with them!"

This little exchange made me smile. I love how older people tend to say whatever they think (especially if it's something positive--sorry guys).

There is something particularly powerful about encouragement from a stranger. I think sometimes we believe it's normal that our parents, relatives and friends think we're beautiful, talented and amazing. But when a stranger or new friend tells you something like that, it' s just cool ... it's unexpected. That lady didn't know me or that I had had a particularly stressful week--and her simple, sassy words and spirit encouraged me.

A compliment is a compliment no matter who it comes from.

Extreme Marketing: Toilet or Treasure?

Last week I was out walking with a friend of mine (another writer) when we both stopped in our tracks to behold this oh-so-lovely piece of marketing:

There are no words. :)

Be longing ... and Martian Child

Weird.

It's an odd word, isn't it?

To be honest, I think we're all just a little bit weird ... in some way or another. Maybe maturity comes when you realize your own quirkiness or try to embrace what makes you uniquely you..

But the funny thing is, I think most of us don't want to think of ourselves as weird. We just want to fit in--to belong.

Tonight I saw the movie Martian Child. I had wanted to see the new Steve Carrell flick instead (I love "The Office"!) ... but apparently, so did everybody else. So I ended up spending the evening with John Cusack and a quirky kid who thinks he's actually from Mars. It was kind of a sappy movie, but it made me think about the oddity of all of us and the basic human desire to love and belong.

(Yes, one of my odd quirks is my analytical mind, so I'll let you in on a little bit of what I thought about as I watched this movie...without giving the plot away, of course!)

In my life (so far), I've had the opportunity to actually get to know people leading all kinds of different lives ... multi-millionaires, people from trailor parks, models, beauty queens, geniuses, jocks, punks ... you name it. And no matter where they come from, what they have or what they look like, they are all wanting to belong.

On the outside, some of these people can look like they've got it all together--but when taken to extremes, their desire to belong can drive them to buy things they can't afford, take up hobbies they don't actually enjoy or spend time with certain people simply because it can help them maneuver their way toward power or belonging to a specific social circle.

And then there are those on the other side of the spectrum who have embraced their oddity so much so that it has become a self-protective mechanism for keeping others away. Their "secret" is that they actually care what people think--they actually do want to belong. Like the Martian Child in the movie, they just might have a hard time trusting people to actually love and accept them.

I can't help but wonder what God thinks as He looks at all of us people trying to belong. I bet He would tell us something like, "Be longing ... for Me, for what I've called you to be, for community with others. That's what I created you for."

Hmm ... so maybe I'll make that my mantra for the week--to be longing, not just trying to belong.

"In" with God, Masks and Me

I was reading the other day and saw these verses that I wanted to share. They probably stood out to me because they talk about masks and I've been helping with a masquerade coming up. :)

But I also liked this passage because it's a call to committed, real Christianity. Not fake or twisted to conveniently fit our own whims--but genuine and honest. I think that's the kind of faith our generation is hungry for:

"Since God has so generously let us in on what he is doing,

we're not about to throw up our hands and walk off the job

just because we run into occasional hard times.

We refuse to wear masks and play games.

We don't maneuver and manipulate behind the scenes.

And we don't twist God's Word to suit ourselves.

Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open,

the whole truth on display,

so that those who want to

can see and judge for themselves in the presence of God."

2 Corinthians 4:1-2 - The Message

It's an honor to serve God--to be "in" on what's He's doing. Nothing I could ever give Him could repay what He's given me. But one thing I've learned is that best gift I can give to God is me--my whole life--staying committed "no matter what" to living a real life of faith and love that draws others to Him.

No masks. No manipulation. No maneuvering.

Just me.

In some ways, that seems kind of scary--it's vulnerable. But when I live that way, when I serve that way, it's actually the most beautiful and pure kind of love I have to offer. And yeah, that may sound cheesy--but it's just me. :)

Crazy in Hope

Beyonce may be crazy in love, but I have come to the realization that I am crazy in hope. And maybe you should be, too.

I like the phrase "crazy in hope" because I think a large portion of society thinks all of us hopeful optimistic people are...well...a little bit crazy, naive or unrealistic.

But what's worse? To be "crazy in hope" or "grounded in pessimism"? (Give me crazy any day!)

To be truly hopeful, you have to move beyond being crazy--to being courageous. It takes courage to hope because there is always some risk that you will be hurt, disappointed or heartbroken if what you're hoping for doesn't actually happen. The courage comes when, despite that hurt, disappointment or heartbreak, you make the choice to hope continually.

So, despite obstacles, I will try to be continually hopeful. I will hope for silly little things like a good parking spot at the movies or sunshine in Seattle (yes, it does happen in October!). And I will hope for the big things--for the friend who has lost her sense of purpose (at the moment anyway), the seriously ill person in need of a miracle, the right guy. And it may be irrational or against the odds--but you can call me crazy if you want to.

It's Time for a Heart Check-up...

"Can I interview you?"

Usually, I am the one asking this question. But yesterday, it was my turn to be interviewed--by my best friend (who is in seminary). The topic? Volunteering.

Here are a few of the sample questions (how I remember them anyway):

1. What kind of volunteer work do you participate in?
   
2. Do you think it's more important to volunteer at church or in the community? Why or why not?
   
3. How did you start volunteering?
   
4. What motivates you to volunteer?
   
5. What level of time commitment is required as part of your volunteer work?
   
6. If you could change anything at organization you volunteer with, what would it be?
   
7. What do you think makes your role as a volunteer different from a full-time staff member?

Just to name a few. :) It was an interesting conversation--for my future pastor friend to think about what volunteers go through (though as a PK and long-time volunteer herself, she has a pretty good idea!). But is was also good for me to think once again about why I do what I do.

After we talked about time commitment, my friend replied, "Whoa! Seriously, sometime you should log the hours for a month--it would just be interesting to know."

I am far from perfect. But if I could change anything at church or in community organizations it would be this--I wish more people realized how fun and rewarding it can be to volunteer--because ultimately, you have the ability to make a positive impact on someone else's life.

I know that might sound corny or cliche. But as I was being inteviewed, I was thinking of stories...of faces...people whose lives have changed for the better since I first met them.

I will never take the credit for the girl who once had low self-esteem, but is now dreaming of going to college. I'm not the reason why a young couple has a renewed passion for reaching out to friends who don't know God. I am not completely responsible for the shy guy who now has a group of friends he can count on or for the old man at the altar with tears streaming down his wrinkled cheeks.

But through volunteering, I played a part in their transformations. And there's something really cool about that.

So on those Sunday mornings when I'd rather hit the snooze button, Saturday afternoons when I'd rather hang out with my friends, or Thursday nights when I'd rather watch "The Office" (live!)--I will try to forget my own selfishness and remember--those faces, those people, those lives that are forever changed.

My Mini College Reunion

There are some friends who you can always "pick right up where you left off" with. And even though some of us are married, have kids or may be still single, I love that these are people I can still laugh and celebrate with. 3F Hotties forever!

Why Bold is Hot

So I was chatting with my sister the other day who happened to mention that a disportionately high number of single women volunteered at our church's recent BOLD mens' conference.

As one of those single women, I can honestly write that I wasn't specifically volunteering to meet or spend extra time with Mr. Right (though I'm not going to lie, it would have been nice...). :)

Honestly, I volunteered because:

A) I think it's important to support any guy (old, young, married, single) ... or any person for that matter ... who wants to grow in their faith.

B) I think it's important to "walk the talk" -- if we encourage the guys to volunteer at the womens' conference, us ladies should step up and volunteer for them.

C) I wanted to play Nintendo Wii and get a free henna tattoo. (I'm totally joking here -- but these were some side benefits of volunteering). :)

But back to the whole "Bold is hot" idea...

So why did so many single women sign up to help at the BOLD mens' conference? I think it's because the idea of a bold kind of guy is appealing.

It's true in the secular world, too. Just this past week I saw an article on MSN for guys titled "How to ask a woman out" (and of course I totally read it to see what "the other side" is hearing!). It doesn't talk about spending a fortune on clothes or a fancy car -- the article basically just encourages guys to be confident. And I found myself totally agreeing with a lot of its concepts.

But the idea of boldness is not restricted to guys ... us women should aim to be bold, too.

So what does a bold guy or girl look like?

• Convicted
  (No, this doesn't mean that you have to go to jail to be really bold!) - To me, this kind of bold is someone who has strength of character -- he or she is convicted by the moral standards of the Bible and by a desire to live a life of integrity (being who they say they are). It means choosing to live a life that is restrained by the principles of God's Word -- while knowing that real freedom is only found within that "restraint."
  


• Clear
  You know where bold people stand, what they believe, what they're passionate about. They don't play games or hide behind pretenses. Their intentions are obvious -- they go after what they want in life.
  
  
• Confident
  Bold people walk in strength and security. They're not cocky, but they have this cool kind of vibe -- they're comfortable in their own skin and they make others feel comfortable, too.
  
  
• Committed
  Bold people are committed -- to a cause, a church, their families -- something or someone they're willing to fight for. They don't waffle in the face of adversity or switch an opinion (those that really matter anyway) under pressure. They're decisive because they know what or who they're committed to.

Cool Verse of the Day

"Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly."

1 Corinthians 13:13 (The Message)

Cool Things of the Week: Sept. 29-Oct. 6

• Quote: "Generous people are grateful people." - Keith Craft

• Video game discovery: Nintendo Wii. Okay, so I have a confession--while the guys were in sessions at our church's BOLD mens' conference, us girls were playing with the "guy stuff" in the lobby. Hence, my new henna tattoo and newfound love of Nintendo Wii.

• Night out: Thursday date with the small group girls @ Indochine (Thai food).

• Fashion Find: Cute purple dress from Banana Republic (I will probably update my profile pic to show this one to you). Love the color. Love that I can wear it with jeans, to work, or out on the town.

• Sweet splurge: Mount Rainier Volcano (Baked Alaska) at the Sea Grill for my mom's b-day. A dessert set on fire at your table? What could be cooler?

For my married friends...

Fun Starbucks Coffee Cup Quote of the Day

"The most relevant pieces of advice I received regarding marriage: You can only be as happy as the least happy person in the house, and two bathrooms are mandatory."

- Laura Gremillion, Starbucks customer from Nashville, Tennessee

John Mayer, A Crush And A Question From God

... Who do you love? Me? Or the thought of me?

"I Don't Trust Myself" by John Mayer, Continuum

So I was singing along in my car with John Mayer (this is a common occurrence!) when the lyrics above stood out to me.

A College Crush ...

First, I thought of a former college crush of mine. At the time anyway, he was my "on paper" perfect guy. We had the best things in common ... and enough opposites to make things interesting. He was charming and fun and could always make me smile. And at the same time, we could have these interesting real thoughtful conversations about God and life.

Don't get me wrong--he was (and is) a great guy. But in hindsight, it was the idea of him--or what a relationship with him would be like--that I was probably more interested in at the time.

Sometimes when you're getting to know somebody, you "fill in the blanks" and project onto the other person your ideas of what they are or what they "should" be. Nobody likes to be loved like that. It's not real.

... And A Question From God

So as I was singing along with John in my car, I felt like God was asking me, "Do you love Me? Or the thought of Me?"

Whoa.

It's easy for me to say or sing, "I love you" to God. But to really love Him--the real Him--is different. It means loving Him when He doesn't make sense (to me anyway) or when things aren't peachy "on paper" perfect. It means that I have to stop projecting my own (sometimes ridiculous) thoughts of who He is onto Him and start seeing and knowing the real Him.

I hope that when I say "I love you" to God that it's not flippant or out of habit. That I'm not saying, "I love you" with strings attached. That I'm just saying and meaning "I love you" for real...and forever.

Starbucks' Coffee Cup Quote of the Day

"In a world where celebrity equals talent, and where make-believe is called reality, it is most important to have real love, truth and stability in your life."
- Bernie Brillstein, Film and television producer

Interesting Books I've Read Lately

I'm a writer which means that I also actually like to read. But it seemed for awhile that I got stuck in a rut of not reading much outside of work (e.g. the oh-so-thrilling investment world of topics like collateralized debt obligations, subprime mortgages and global tactical asset allocation).

Don't get me wrong--I made time for the Bible and magazine tidbits from Oprah and InStyle...and weird things like the nutrition facts on Lean Cuisine boxes. :) Probably because I do read so much at work, by the time weekends and evenings hit, I was more prone to do other things.

However, lately I'm trying to get more into the "reading for fun" habit. So here are a few books I've read recently...and some tidbits from one of them (the other--equally good--is in my car waiting to go back to the library.

Let Your Life Speak by Parker J. Palmer

This book is all about viewing your life as having a calling. Whether you're called to ministry or to secular work, Palmer believes that all of us are called to be and do something. Perhaps the key question and premise of the book is, "Are you living the life you were born to live?" It's a short book, but definitely philosophical (just in case you're not into that). Palmer is a Quaker and an academic and has very interesting perspectives--most of which I agree with, but some I don't as well. Here are a few interesting quotes that stood out to me:

• "Today I understand vocation quite differently--not as a goal to be achieved, but as a gift to be received...Vocation does not come from a voice 'out there' calling me to be something I am not. It comes from a voice 'in here' calling me to be the person I was born to be, to fulfill the original selfhood given me at birth by God." (pg. 10)
  


• "Our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic selfhood, whether or not it conforms to some image of what we ought to be. As we do so, we will not only find the joy that every human being seeks--we will find our path of authentic service to the world. True vocation joins self and service, as Frederick Buechner asserts when he defines vocation as 'the place where your deepest gladness meets the world's deep need.'" (pg. 16)
  


• "...there is as much guidance in what does not and cannot happen in my life as there is in what can and does--maybe more." (pg. 39)
  


• "One sign that I am violating my own nature in the name of nobility is a condition called burnout. Though usually regarded as the result of trying to give too much, burnout in my experience results from trying to give what I do not posess--the ultimate in giving too little! Burnout is a state of emptiness, to be sure, but it does not result from giving all I have: it merely reveals the nothingness from which I was trying to give in the first place." (pg. 49)
  


• "Our strongest gifts are usually those we are barely aware of possessing. They are part of our God-given nature, with us from the moment we first drew breath, and we are no more conscious of having them than we are of breathing." (pg. 52)
  


• "We are here not only to transform the world but to be transformed." (pg. 97)

The New Birth Order Book by Dr. Kevin Leman

Maybe it's because I'm a writer, but I have this innate curiosity about people and what makes them tick. Perhaps that's why the whole concept of The New Birth Order Book appealed to me (plus the fact that I'd heard Dr. Leman speak at our church--and thought he was funny and insightful). So I stumbled upon this book at the library and checked it out.
It was definitely interesting. Dr. Leman spices up the book with a lot of personal stories and examples from his role as a counselor. I also liked that the book had sections about how you can apply principles learned about the different birth orders in business, marriage and parenting. I also like the fact that he's careful not to pigeon-hole people into neat and tidy little categories--clearly saying that birth order is simply one factor of many that shapes us all into unique individuals.

Any ideas on what I should read next?

Totally open to your suggestions ...

Why the Puyallup Fair makes me smile

1. One word: Scones.

2. The millions of different ways people can spend hundreds of dollars on...well...junk.

Who really needs a bouquet of wooden roses? A $400 blender? A pink leopard print hat with feather trim? A flourescent green stuffed frog the size of a four-year-old? Anyone?

3. Muttin Bustin'.

This is the newest fair sport where parents pay $10 to throw their toddlers on the backs of sheep. No saddles. No harnesses. Just three year olds holding on for dear life and basking in mini-me rodeo glory. Too cute...

4. Crazy rides

It may be a little known fact, but I LOVE crazy rides. If it goes upside down, backwards, spins in circles or jerks you up and down 8 stories, I'm in. Save the other rides for the kids...

5. It's all about (sometimes goofy, tacky and cheesy) fun.

Can a Christian woman be assertive?

To be successful in business, you have to be assertive. This past week, my boss and I were talking about goals, career path and things to work on when she said (something like) this to me:

"Everybody believes in you and speaks well of you.

We're you're biggest advocates ... the only one not speaking up for you is you."

And she's right. At work, I have a hard time saying, "I really want to be involved with Project X. Can someone else take over my current Project Y so that I can focus on X?" (I've actually never said anything like this.) And I struggle with delegating tasks to colleagues v. taking on the world myself. I probably don't say "no" enough to things I'm not interested in (and probably shouldn't be focusing on anymore).

I think part of me feels like it's selfish to stand up for what I want because it means another person will get stuck doing the stuff I don't. It seems that by delegating, I'm in effect saying "I'm above Project X--you take care of it" (even though that's not really my attitude). Or maybe it's because it seems irresponsible to start a project and not see it through all the way. Perhaps part of me wants to see something done in a certain way--my way--versus someone else's.

It doesn't seem humble to tout your own accomplishments to negotiate for what you want--maybe that's why I've let others do it for me. When other people call you a "star", the "go-to girl" and give you awards, it's easier in a way to sit back and and let their praises pave your way.

I think part of me is also afraid of being labeled as assertive--because I've seen people in the real world who are assertive (or maybe "aggressive" is a better word?) to the extreme of throwing values and respect for others out the window.

Isn't this lack of assertiveness common among women--Christian or not?

Yes. A lot of women are shaped by society to be compliant, easygoing, quiet order-takers who aren't necessarily vocal about what they want. Society has ugly terms for women who are assertive--and those labels sting some of us even today.

So what's faith got to do with it?

It may sound silly, but even though I know Jesus was a strong leader who delegated things to others, finding a balance between that strong leadership style and the Biblical principles of "servant leadership," humility and a desire for excellence (read: taking on tasks for my perfectionist self v. delegating) is a challenge.

And though it may not affect me as much as Christian women from more conservative backgrounds, there's still a false perception (based on verses taken out of context) that women are supposed to be "seen and not heard." Even some true Biblical principles about women (e.g. "helpers" in marriage) can be construed as "subservient to men."

Friend v. Leader - How do you find balance?

I've also been in the boat before of being considered a peer or friend versus a leader. And honestly, sometimes I've preferred those labels. It's pretty easy for me to empathize with others, especially people I like and respect. And besides that, being a "relational leader" can be effective.

But as a leader, sometimes you have to make tough calls, talk about hard issues and make decisions that aren't fun--especially when they involve other people's feelings or work (at a corporation or even a ministry team).

Thoughts? Advice?

This is kind of a weird post for me in the fact that I'm not sharing a bunch of answers, but just some thoughts or issues I'm thinking about. Does anybody else have thoughts or advice on this topic?

The Emmys, The Bible and the Gift of Giving

"To whom much is given, much is expected..."

This past Sunday, these words surprised me. Not because they were unfamiliar--they're from a famous Bible verse. And not because I heard them at church (I didn't this week). But because I heard them while watching The Emmys.

That's right--at a gathering of glamorous Hollywood stars, a verse from the Bible was quoted. Why? Because even celebrities believe in the principles of giving. They know it's important--and a responsibility for anyone who has money, time or talents they can use to help others.

At small group yesterday, we talked about giving...and here are a few things I know for sure:

• Giving is about more than money.
  
  I'm not discounting the fact that tithing and giving financially are definitely important--I think tithing is one of the things God expects Christians to do. But my giving and generosity should go beyond what's in my bank account.
  
  I think giving and generosity involve giving of my time and talents, too. It's also about attitude and motive--I'm not generous if I'm giving to get attention, to gain favor with other people, or just "not to feel guilty." I should be willing to give when no one is watching, when I'm giving to people who aren't in a position to give me any kind of favor, and with a spirit of cheerful generosity (vs. guilt, shame or duty).
  
  
• Cheerful giving is contagious.
  
  Have you ever seen one of those Oprah shows about random acts of kindness? Or shows when she'll give away cars or homes to people in need? It's exciting. It's inspiring. It's fun. Inevitably, after those shows, people in the audience will speak up or viewers will write letters and talk about how they were inspired to start changing oil for single moms or to pay for coffee at Starbucks for the person behind them.
  
  Giving should always be like that--it should be fun. Your cheerful, giving heart should inspire and motivate others.
  
  
• Generosity should be celebrated, not suffocated.
  
  I was talking with another Christian (a pastor's wife from another church, actually) awhile back who said, "At our church, we don't talk about giving or tithing to the congregation. We just have a box at the back and whoever wants to give, gives. And God always provides."
  
  When she said this, something stirred in my heart and I wanted to say back, "That's really sad! It means people in your church are missing out on the opportunity to give. They're missing out on the opportunity to be a blessing to others...and your church is missing out on being able to do more in your community. Yes, your needs are being met...but think of what your church could be doing beyond itself!" It's sad to me that this church is missing the connection between their generosity and their ability to influence and impact their community for Christ (did I mention their congregation is about 60 people and not growing?).
  
  Why is there shame or fear associated with talking about giving at churches? Oprah's not afraid to talk about money. Bono's not afraid to ask people to care and give beyond themselves. And aren't the causes of Christ--seeing people saved and lives changed for eternity--more important than giving them cars or even helping to meet people's physical needs? I think we need to not be afraid to encourage people to give.



• You can never outgive God.
  
  God gives us everything we have--and He always honors a giving heart by continuing to give back even more. He looks to "give seed to the sower"--those who will do something with what they're given.



• By giving, I'm part of making a difference.
  
  When I give to anything--missions, my church, Big Brothers, Big Sisters, whatever--I'm part of making a difference. What I do or give might seem small sometimes, but it's part of a bigger picture. It's important. It's a way that I can stay connected to people and causes I care about...even when I might not be the one who serves on a mission field in Africa, mentors hundreds of kids in Pierce County or preaches to thousands of people every single weekend.



• The opportunity to give comes into our lives every day.
  
  There are always opportunities to give to others--you just have to open your eyes and look for them. It's easy (and convenient) sometimes to turn away, to be oblivious to need, to think "someone else will take care of it," etc. And yes, you probably can't give money or time to every single cause you believe in ... but maybe you can pray for it or show generosity through a kind word or smile.
  


• Giving is an expression of love.
  
  My giving (especially to God) is one way I express my love for Him. It's part of worship. God doesn't want me to love Him or others simply out of obligation or to "check a box" on the "To do" list of Christianity--and I shouldn't give to Him or to others with that attitude either.

Cool Things of the Week - Sept. 9 - 16

CD: "Coco" by Colbie Caillat - This CD is fun. The song "Bubbly" probably characterizes Caillat's signature sound--it's happy, beautiful, falling-in-love kind of music. Caillat has a clear voice similar in sound to Natasha Beddingfield--but her music is light and guitar-driven. Very cool.

Sugar Splurge: A Frosty Float at Wendy's - if you're like me, you probably don't have rootbeer floats very often. But they're good...very good.

New-to-me place: Kent Station. Okay, it probably helped that I went to Kent Station on a gorgeous sunny day in the Northwest. But it reminded me of Downtown Disney (for anyone who has ever been there). Outdoor shopping (complete with outdoor fireplaces!), music, a good restaurant (I only tried one--Pizzeria Fondi).

Movie: "Hairspray." It may have been because I was with a pretty cool group of people--but honestly, I hadn't laughed that hard in awhile! John Travolta was hysterical. But the funniest part was talking with one of my macho guy friends after the show who said, "Probably the worst part was that I found my foot tapping in the theater!" :)

Compare and Contrast

One of my regular writing tasks is to serve as a ghostwriter. Each quarter, I'm responsible for writing a magazine's equivalent to the "Letter from the Editor." You know, that short letter at the front of every magazine that, in 200 words or less, builds interest, tries to say something profound and somehow connects the dots to build a theme for each issue.

This quarter I wracked my brain trying to come up with that thread--that theme--that ties the magazine together. And it occurred to me--most of the stories are about comparing and contrasting (remember those essays you had to write in high school or college?).

Comparing and Contrasting For Grown-Ups?

The magazine I work on is for CEOs, CFOs and Treausurers responsible for overseeing their companies' money--millions and sometimes billions of dollars per organization. But what is one of the key things they're interested in? Comparing and contrasting. They look at how their investments are performing against stock market indexes, how their retirement plan compares to their industry peers' plans, or how their pension plans may be impacting the financial status of their companies.

They're actually using the same "compare and contrast" principles they learned in high school English. And guess what? You probably are, too.

Comparing and contrasting can be useful. Sometimes. It can help you make decisions--about what to wear, what to eat, who to befriend, where to work, what to do on the weekend, which route to take to a new place.

The Danger of Competition

But comparing and contrasting ourselves to others can be dangerous. And most of us do it. We compare ourselves to our coworkers, our friends, celebrities, random people on the street. You know you're in trouble when you look at people you care about as "competition." Ouch.

Comparing and contrasting ourselves to other people is beyond silly--it's dangerous. There's always going to be someone else who's smarter, thinner, more athletic, taller, better looking, richer, more talented, funnier, and more popular than each one of us.

Thank God that He doesn't compare us to others. He calls us to do the best we can with what we have.

The Freedom of Focus

Galatians 6:4-5 (The Message)

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.

What I get from these verses is that I'm supposed to focus my energy and attention on God and moving ahead with the work He's called me to do. It's my responsibility.

But there's freedom in that focus. If I'm not bogged down by comparing myself to others, I'm free to do my "creative best." And there's something kind of cool about that.

My Secret Life as a Funeral Crasher

Last week I went to the funeral of a complete stranger. [ In case you're wondering--no, I'm not planning on writing a movie/book called "Funeral Crashers" :) ] My boss and I actually went to support a co-worker who was a very close family friend (the man who died was like a second father to her).

Not to sound completely morbid, but it's amazing what you can learn about someone at their funeral. If you know me, you know I'm not really a crier. That's why it was so strange to find myself completely misty-eyed at a stranger's funeral.

It's exactly a week later. And some of the words and themes from this stranger's funeral are still ringing in my head--so I thought I'd share them with you.

"Love outside the lines."

If you read my last post, you know this was my favorite quote of the week. It was the theme of the minister's message, but what probably stands out more were the stories of the man who passed away exemplifying this characteristic--and the stories were really simple. A guy who helped complete strangers move. Who bought softball equipment for kids on the team who couldn't afford it. A guy who loved his neighbors as family. A man who made an event--a BBQ or poker game--just a bit cooler by simply being there and giving respect to those around him.

I don't know if the man who passed away was a Christian. He didn't go to church. But his "love outside the lines" expressed a glimpse of God's generous and extravagant love toward people. I hope that I can learn love "love outside the lines" more often--even in the little things.

"10 Reasons to Have Hope"

The deceased man's brother-in-law gave a short reading on "10 Reasons to Have Hope" based on key Scriptures. I wish I had a copy of it ... but it was just a cool reminder that we can always have hope in a God who understands our humanity, walks beside us and has a purpose for our lives.

"It's clear he was loved. But more importantly, he was respected."

These words came during the "open mic" section of the service from a man in the audience. I think they struck me because it was interesting to hear a man talk about another man in his own words. (If you've read Love and Respect, you'll know what I mean). The men who spoke of the deceased mentioned his love for his family, but talked more about his integrity, work ethic, insight, character--and the validation they found from him simply as a guy they were proud to call their friend.

How Great Thou Art

To close the (VERY traditional) service, we sang "How Great Thou Art." I don't think I have sung that song since high school--I'm much more into modern worship music. But there was something pretty powerful about a gathering of strangers (Christian and not) at a funeral singing "How Great Thou Art," a song that is all about standing in "awesome wonder" of God's greatness and power.

At that moment, my tears faded and I stood in gratitude and praise of this God I have the privilege of actually knowing ... the God who loves me ... that I can actually call my friend. The God that continually teaches me new things every single day. Even through a debut as a funeral crasher.

Cool Things of the Week

New Tacoma Hotspot: Hello, Cupcake! (No, that's not a corny pick up line for 75 year olds, but an AMAZING cupcake bakery near UW Tacoma).

Quote: "Love outside the lines."

Work Perk: Yay for Labor Day off!

Chick Flick: Becoming Jane - Okay, I saw this a few weeks ago, but I hadn't blogged about it yet. It's great...but be prepared because it's also kind of sad.


Cheap Eats: Check out the Olive Garden's Never-Ending Pasta Bowls (though I can't usually finish one!). At $8.95 (including soup and salad), it's a steal. And you've gotta have a Bellini Iced Tea
(iced tea with a bit of peach/raspberry syrup) just for me. :)


Cheesy (But Fun!) Day Out: Monday mini golf with the gang

Hi. It's me--God. Are you listening?

When God's trying to get your attention, He may not audibly announce it--like, "Hi. It's me--God. Are you listening?" So how do you hear, see and know His direction for your life?

The "Idiots" of the Bible

If you're like me, you've probably laughed at some of the people in the Bible before.

You know, people like Gideon who asked God for direction for His life--complete with a million signs--that God graciously gave him (and as a side note, if you read closely, you'll see that Gideon actually got an extra bonus sign he didn't even ask for--see Judges 7:13-15).

Or maybe you've been annoyed with the children of Israel, who had problems trusting the God who miraculously freed them from slavery, parted the Red Sea, guided their (literal) steps with a cloud and pillar of fire, and provided food miraculously for them every single day.

If you're like me, you've probably thought, "These people are idiots! God was right there. He was guiding them--sometimes even talking to them audibly--and they still couldn't trust Him!"

But wait, there's more ...

(I felt a bit like an infomercial spokesperson writing that, but it's true!). Hold on before you get carried away in your criticism of the "idiots." Because when it comes to trusting God, I know I've been an idiot before ... and odds are you have, too.

Yes, there have been times in my life where I've felt like God was silent. But with the benefit of hindsight, sometimes I've seen that He wasn't--I just might not have been listening or looking for His direction when it was right there. Or maybe it came in an unexpected way.

I think that asking for God's direction is definitely the first step. But actually trusting Him enough to listen or look for answers is also key. And usually, God is gracious enough to put answers in front of your face repeatedly.

The Real Story...

Take this topic, for example. I'm writing about it because I think it's a reminder that God has put in my own heart recently.

I'm organized. I'm detailed. I actually LIKE planning. (I know some of you will think this is completely bizarre--but it's how I'm wired.) For the most part, these are good traits God put in me that actually have helped my life. But when it comes to asking for God's direction--and trusting Him--it has sometimes meant that I've wanted a burning bush, an audible voice, Mapquest-GPS-style step-by-step directions ... or, better yet, a tour guide and driver with a comfy town car.

But I've been reminded recently that God doesn't always work that way. And honestly, would life be as much fun if I knew every single detail in advance? Here's a few of the ways God has reminded me of this message (trust Him, look for His guidance) in the last two weeks:

• Our small group series on "Friends and Family" touched on God-assigned connections--people God puts in our lives for a reason. It made me feel grateful for the signature of God on some of my friendships ... and also made me wonder, "Are there God-assigned connections in my world that I've been missing? Am I actively looking for them?"
  
  
• A conversation with a fantastic God-assigned connection I hadn't seen in awhile ... who spoke honestly and openly about trusting God in her own life. Her example of hope and strength was really encouraging and inspiring to me.
  
  
• A sermon by a guest speaker titled "I See" about how your perspective shapes your experience. In this message, the speaker talked about the story of Abraham and Isaac and how Abraham really exemplified such faith and trust in God (without Mapquest directions!).
  
  
• The day after the message, I was reading in my regular devotional time. I've been reading Romans lately and lo and behold, came across some amazing verses on this exact same topic (and Abraham's story again, too, by the way). They're so good, that I thought I'd also include them here:
  

Romans 4:4-5

If you're a hard worker and do a good job, you deserve your pay;
we don't call your wages a gift.
But if you see that the job is too big for you, that it's something only God can do,
and you trust him to do it—you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked—well, that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God.
Sheer gift.

Romans 4:13-15

That famous promise God gave Abraham—that he and his children would possess the earth—was not given because of something Abraham did or would do.
It was based on God's decision to put everything together for him,
which Abraham then entered when he believed.
If those who get what God gives them only get it by doing everything they are told to do and filling out all the right forms properly signed, that eliminates personal trust completely and turns the promise into an ironclad contract!
That's not a holy promise; that's a business deal.
A contract drawn up by a hard-nosed lawyer and with plenty of fine print only makes sure that you will never be able to collect.
But if there is no contract in the first place,
simply a promise—and God's promise at that—you can't break it.

Hmm ... do you think it was a coincidence? Or is God trying to get my attention? He used a few messages, a friend and His Word to remind me of something very essential to my life--that faith is required. That I have to trust in His promises--even when I may not know exactly how they're going to happen.

Because I'll fail if I try to do everything myself, in my own strength of detailed organization and control. I have to leave space for God's undeniable fingerprint--enough to where I can step back and look at situations in my life and go, "Whoa! That wasn't me--that wasn't possible--without God." And yes, I'll probably still be an idiot sometimes ... but hopefully, I will be continually learning to depend on God's strength and guidance.