Can we just talk? - Part 1

So the other day I came across Boundless, a Web zine for college/career-age young adults produced by Focus on the Family. I periodically read Boundless because sometimes the articles are interesting, a lot of times I agree with them ... and other times, they make me mad.

(Case in point - definitely a rabbit trail you can skip if you're not interested: There's an article that basically argues that single women should not buy their own homes--that we're supposed to live with mommy and daddy forever until Prince Charming comes along ... or rent because home ownership ties us down or shows men that we don't "need" them because we can provide for ourselves--can you hear me gagging in the background?!? Here's a thought--isn't God's provision what we need and depend on most, regardless of our gender? And instead of caring so much about a guy's opinion, shouldn't single women care more about doing the best they can with what God has given them to honor Him? And wouldn't a real Prince Charming be confident enough to understand and admire that?)

A DTR Assessment?

Anyway, the latest pathetic brainchild of Boundless is an oh-so-lovely interactive feature called "Define The Relationship: A DTR Assessment".

Anyone familiar with college is familiar with the terminology of DTR (defining the relationship) discussions ... you know, the "I like you, do you like me?" or "Can we be more than friends?" kind of talks. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with the talks themselves--clarity is a good thing (though personally, I think it's probably better for a guy to be brave and just ask a girl out on what's clearly a date ... and just see how the girl responds and how it goes). Okay ... back to the main point ...

The weird thing about the Boundless DTR tool? It's a quiz to help people figure out if they need to have a DTR or not. Forgive me for stating the obvious--but isn't the point of a DTR to get clarity--and if you're not clear on whether or not you need clarity, how much can a quiz do for you anyway? Here's a pre-quiz they should offer to people using this tool ...

If you are taking a DTR assessment it means that you are:

a) too immature to even think about dating
b) overly analytical
c) all of the above

So Let's Just Talk ...

I think what bugs me about this quiz is that it's completely unnecessary. What would be better? For the Christian community to get real with young adults and for young adults to get real with each other. To talk instead of having a quiz about maybe/possibly/kinda sorta talking.

I think there are a few issues going on in the heads and hearts of single guys and women that may be adding to the confusion ... and I'll explore them in Part 2 of this topic.