Sunday, May 27, 2007

The Waiting Game

Does anyone actually enjoy waiting?

For the most part, I hate it. I don't like sitting at the chiropractor's office for 20 minutes for a 10 minute appointment, waiting in a LONG drive thru line at a fast food place when all I want is an iced tea, or waiting for a meal to arrive at a restaurant while a nearby table of customers (who arrived after my group!!!) is chowing down on dinner.

It's not just the little things. Waiting for the BIG things in life can be frustrating, too. And I'm sure I'm not alone ...

Have you ever waited for a promotion? Waited for school to be completely finished (or your student loans to be paid off)? Waited until you can own your own home? Or to meet and marry Mr. Right?

The thing about waiting is that it usually has a purpose (did I really just type that?!?). It can seem pointless at times, but once you reach your goals, you realize the value of the wait. So here are a few of the benefits of waiting:

  • Waiting can provide experiences that prepare you for your future.
    For example, if you actually became the CEO of a large corporation straight after college, would you really be ready? Would you be ready to oversee multi-million dollar budgets, manage thousands of employees and set a vision for the company's next 20 years? Probably not.

    While you're waiting, seek experiences that will make you a better boss, husband, wife, employee or parent. Yes, waiting can provide good experiences--but most of the time, you have to seek them. You can't just sit on the couch and wake up as a CEO--you've got to first get hired somewhere (or invent something amazing in your garage, Bill Gates!), be willing to learn from others' experiences, build a reputation, learn more, fail, step out and try something new, think of a new idea, learn even more ... and the cycle keeps going.

  • Waiting can build your character.
    As annoying as it can sound at times, "Patience is a virtue." The sheer act of waiting helps us realize that not everything can be just as we want it--in an instant. It teaches us to depend on God, to be content with what we have, and to enjoy a present moment.

    Besides patience, there may be other parts of your character that are "under construction" before you reach your goals. Maybe there's a habit you need to break, a strength you need to build, maturity you need to develop, or a weakness that needs taming.

  • Waiting can save you from making impulsive decisions.
    It's best not to make the BIG decisions of life when you're super stressed, under pressure or emotionally vulnerable. Just breathe, seek some (wise!) advice, pray and wait to make the decision until you can feel pretty confident about it.

    At the same time, realize that there's not always a "perfect time" for everything. There's a balance between being too impulsive and being too paralyzed to make decisions at all. Analyze, but don't overanalyze. Don't be impulsive, but allow for some spontaneity in your life.

Another thing about waiting? No matter where you're at in life, if you're a goal-oriented person, you're usually waiting (and working toward) something. I have single friends who talk about waiting for marriage, married friends who talk about waiting to have kids, and older acquaintances that talk about waiting for retirement.

The Waiting Game is really all about balance ... make the most of your wait by multi-tasking (yes, I am one of those people who will talk on my cell and read a magazine in the chiropractor's office!). Don't just sit still. Do something productive with the time you've been given. It will make you better prepared for the day when that promotion, Mr. Right, child, or home comes into your life.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Cool things of the week...


Starbucks' beverage: Tall, 1 pump Orange, Non-fat, No-whip mocha



Day Trip: Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle. Check out the African Savanna.

Work Perk of the Week: A 3-day weekend! Plus, early departure day on Friday. :)

Snack: Organic blue tortilla chips with this amazing dip from Costco (gotta look up the name!)--it's basically a mix of salsa, veggies and cream cheese.
Bargain Beauty Buy: An $11.95 haircut at the Gene Juarez Academy in Federal Way...I have to make an appointment!

TV Show Finale: I have to go with "24". Only Jack Bauer could fly through the air on a rope to escape an exploding oil rig in the middle of the ocean (even though the ending was not as suspense-filled as past seasons...).

Monday, May 21, 2007

Chosen

Everyone wants to be chosen...

Whether it's being picked to be someone's employee, basketball team member, girlfriend, mentor, or best friend--there's something amazing and empowering in knowing that someone picked you. Someone thinks you're special. Someone thinks you're valuable and worth their attention.

"Tag, you're it!"

One of the coolest things about God is that He chose us. He chose you. He picked me.
He could have been content to live in a perfect world with perfect supermodel robots who always make the right choices to love Him and each other...and eat only broccolli, study for fun and smile all the time with perfect teeth. :)

But He didn't. That world would have been perfect, but it would have been boring.

He picked us. Yes, He chose to give His life for us so that we could have a personal relationship with Him. But beyond that, He chose us to represent Him--to be His voice and to do the work He's called us all to do.

I Peter 2:9-10 (The Message)
But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.

Real love is chosen.

Another cool (and sometimes frustrating) thing about God? He chose to give us our own choices. (Sometimes I wonder why...being a perfect supermodel robot might make life simpler!)

But maybe God wanted to be chosen, too. He picked us first, but maybe He wants us to choose Him every day. Probably because robot-obligation love isn't real love at all--real love is chosen.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Silence, Speech and Beauty

"When she speaks, she will have something worthwhile to say, and she will say it kindly."
(Prov. 31: 26 - The Message)

Have you ever felt like a babbling idiot? Like, in the middle of talking you're having an out of body experience when you ask yourself, "Am I still talking?" "Is this making any sense at all?" "Is anyone still listening?" I don't have these moments often, but found myself in the middle of one recently.

Sometimes I wonder if God looks at me and whispers (in a kind, Dad sort-of voice), "Shh...just be still for a moment. Listen." (Actually, I know He probably thinks that way about a lot of us at times ... I'm thinking Psalm 46:10.)

A week of silence ... ?
A few weeks ago, I had laryngitis. At first, I sounded like a mime (absolutely no voice!). Then I could whisper. For a few days I sounded like a soft rock DJ [ more Michael Bolton, anyone?:) ]. The problem? I kept talking! I tried to stop (really!), but it seemed impossible.

Maybe it's because our church's womens' conference was this past weekend, but I found myself reading Proverbs 31 (the passage that basically outlines the Biblically ideal woman) and I noticed the verse above with a new perspective.

What I learned...
In a world that prizes talking, "telling it like it is" and sarcasm, there's something to be said for listening, deliberate conversation, kindness and discernment.

I don't want to ramble. When I speak, I don't want people to hear the Charlie Brown sound effect, "Wa wa. Wa wa. Wa wa ..." I don't ever want to be one of those people who talks just to hear her own voice.

I want to be respected--someone people look to for valued input and counsel (versus the one who always chimes in with an unwanted idea or opinion). I want people to walk away from a conversation with me feeling inspired and challenged (in a good kind of way!).

"She will add beauty"
(This ties in--I promise!) I always thought my name didn't have a specific meaning because my parents simply made it up (it's a combination of their two names).

But one of the guest speakers at our womens' conference had this thing with names and explaining what they meant and it got me wondering ... what does my name really mean? What does the combination of my Dad's name (Joe - Joseph) and my mom's name (Bonita) really mean? It turns out that Joseph means "He will add" and Bonita means "beauty/beautiful" - together, "She will add beauty" ... how cool is that?

I really hope I will add beauty to the world (or He--God--adds it through me) ... not just through an outward appearance, but through a presence that brightens a room, words that inspire and challenge (see, I did connect the two ideas!) and through a life that makes a difference.

And though the phrase may hold a special meaning to me now, I think everyone can add beauty to their world--through a smile, a not-so-random act of kindness, wise advice, serving someone in need--the list could go on forever. Sometimes simple things are the most beautiful.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

My Lunch with Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker


This is not a joke...
Today I had lunch at Quizno's with Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker.
It's true (really!) ... and I thought that would be a fabulous way to start a sentence in my blog. :)
Here's the scoop: I was waiting in line to purchase a small BBQ chicken sub when I looked out the window and saw a grown man dressed as an unidentifiable superhero (complete with a mask, gun, and a cape). At first, I was a little alarmed. Was a deranged terrorist on the loose? Would I lose my life over a sandwich? Would we make the evening news while I had turquoise paint on my arms and legs (yeah, I was looking really schlumpy after painting all morning)?
After noticing my puzzled expression, my sister said, "Look behind you!" And then I saw them--Darth, Luke and a whole clan of avid Star Wars' fans...was I dreaming? Stuck in a nightmare? No, just a suburban strip mall Quizno's. Could life be any more bizarre?!?
It turns out that a comic book store nearby was having a promotional event. And while we ate our small subs, my sister and I could overhear bits of the Star Wars' Fan Club's conversations...Darth talked like Napoleon Dynamite (even though he was probably 45), Luke was explaining how he found his special attire (this white plastic Power Ranger-looking get-up) and the group actively discussed George Lucas' writing and filmmaking skills.
My sister and I had a REALLY hard time holding back our laughter. These people really took themselves seriously. And it was funny. And I wanted to tell someone about it. So now you know about my weirdest lunch at Quizno's ever...and I hope it made you smile.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

More than words...

Words are important. As a writer, I'm paid for my words--how I put them together, how many I write and how I edit them. Words shape how people perceive me and how I perceive them. They can enhance my relationships or separate me from others.

But it's funny ... as important as words are in my life (and probably yours), I'm continually reminded that actions supercede them.

Walking the talk
Here's one example: Today I was reading a Seattle Times' story titled "Christian Leaders: Children Need Homes". The article basically points to the idea that prominent Christian leaders are encouraging believers to adopt and/or support children's charities. One of the key reasons? To answer criticism that Christians, while condemning abortion and gay adoption, don't do enough for children without parents...ouch!

The world is watching you
It brings up the whole idea that the world is watching you (even though you might not know it). Yeah, we as Christians may say we care about people, are pro-life, blah blah blah ... but who really cares what we say? As much as I believe in the importance of "messaging" and the power of words, they're meaningless without action. I can try to look good on the outside, have a great job and have things that are attractive to non-believers. But ultimately, people are watching to see what I'm doing with my beliefs.

Beyond our walls
To take it a step further, I think people are watching to see what we do with our beliefs outside the community of the Church. Yes, we may help kids by volunteering in a Sunday school class ... but what do we do to practically help kids or families in our communities? Kids and families that may even have a greater need for our practical help?

I don't really have all the answers. I really do believe church involvement is a critical part of my life and there's a difference between a good cause and a God cause. But at the same time, I have to ask myself if I'm doing enough to help the world outside of the Church...because it's a world that's confused, lost, orphaned, poor, sick...and in need of my help.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

A Taboo Topic? Women and Money...



I'll admit it--I'm a writer for a financial services company, but I don't always find reading, talking or writing about money interesting (give me InStyle or Jane Austen any day!). But I recently read a book that may have changed my mind ... and made me realize how important my work as a financial writer (unexciting as it may feel at times) may be in the lives of real people.

Money: A Memoir - Women, Emotions and Cash by Liz Perle exposes facts about women and money--and how we as a society often relate to it. While I may not agree with everything Ms. Perle argues, I do think that the book presents some valid (and sometimes alarming!) information ... pointing to the need for people to learn more about money ... and for Christians to teach God's perspective on money to others (even if it's just our own kids).

Interesting facts, quotes and ideas from the book...

  • "...More women will file for bankrupcy this year than will graduate from college, suffer a heart attack, or be diagnosed with cancer. More than half of retired women live in poverty."

  • "Boys weren't told that talking about money was 'not done', immoral, selfish, tacky or just plain bad manners."

  • "For boys and men, money and providing determine their feelings of self worth. Womanhood is still very much connected to a girl's beauty and to her ability to connect to others in relationships." (According to financial educator Joline Godfrey - as quoted in this book)

  • "Women lack confidence and interest in investing or managing money. As a 2005 Merrill Lynch Investment Managers' Survey put it, the reasons come down to 'time and fear.' "

    *Personal sidenote: This is despite the fact that women have been shown to be as capable at investing as men. Interestingly enough, when both women and men are involved together in investment decisions, their returns are higher than when either gender makes investment decisions exclusively. See more.

  • More than half of American women have no pension coverage (versus 25% of men). On average, women live 7 years longer than their husbands. Women comprise 87% of the impoverished elderly.

  • (Probably my favorite quote in the book...) "I think we're scared of the power (of financial security). Power demands that we stand up and think and act for ourselves. It demands that we take up space, that we value ourselves. With power comes responsibility and visibility." (Money expert Barbara Stanley, as quoted in "Money: A Memoir")

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Proof of my recent adventure... :)


Keeping it Personal

Connecting in Seattle: Where Two Definitions Collide...
Picture the scene: It's a gorgeous sunny day in Seattle. I'm in a cute funky neighborhood with three of my friends chilling at a cool independent coffee shop (note: I still love Starbucks!).

It had a great vibe--dark wood, open spaces, comfy chairs, outdoor tables (which we picked to take advantage of April sun). It was overflowing with other twentysomething people like us.

But what were they doing? Typing away on laptops (I counted at least 15). Listening to iPods. Reading.

There's nothing wrong with any of the activities I mentioned above...it just seemed totally ironic in a place obviously designed for connection and community for people to be...connected by wires and Internet technology and not to each other. Especially on a sunny Sunday April afternoon.

The weird part? My friends and I were talking and laughing and having a great time. But I almost felt the glares of people who probably thought we were loud and obnoxious. It seemed ironic because we were the ones doing what the whole place was designed for--connecting with each other, having fun and relaxing.

In Praise of the Personal...
I have no problem with technology. But for all it's worth, online "community" seems like a shallow substitute for the real deal. I love that I can connect with my friends around the world online...but they are mostly the friends I've also connected with in person.

It seems sad that for all of the "connections" people in society (or chic indie coffee shops) have, many are missing out on the personal connections of really knowing people, caring for them and growing together in friendship and life.

I guess I hope I can keep up both kinds of connecting--I love that technology keeps me connected to friends thousands of miles away. But there's something powerful about also having real relationships with people who really know me in my day-to-day world. And even though you're reading this online, I bet you probably feel the same...