My best friend's wedding...and the friendship link

My best friend just got engaged!

I am really excited for both Devyn and Ryan (who I just recently met--great guy).

This weekend, my pastor talked about the power of relationships and the influence they can have on our lives. It made me reflect on my friendship with my best friend Devyn, how our friendship has changed over the years and some of the ways our friendship may be different going forward.

So here are some random thoughts about our friendship (and I may have to remember these for a wedding toast or cards sometime soon). :)

"Are you guys sisters?"

I don't know how many times Devyn and I have been asked this question. We don't look that much alike (we both have big eyes and smiles, though). But I think we frequently had this question come up because of the power of influence we had on each other (which is a lot after 12 years!). In high school, we started using some of the same catch phrases, our mannerisms started to become similar, sometimes we would (unintentionally) show up at school in matching or coordinating outfits (which isn't exactly cool past the fourth grade).

The best friends challenge you to grow.

Devyn and I are both a bit competitive...but I mean that in the best way. We both have this inner drive to do well at the things we're interested in. And when your best friend has a "go for it" kind of spirit, it pushes you to be your best. We challenged each other academically. We encourage each other to go for other things--from "The Sound of Music" in high school to a four-year university (when neither one of us knew how exactly we were going to pay for it all--with God's help, scholarships and a lot of hard work, we both made it!) to a European trip post-college (so much fun!).

I remember being undecided in my major when I first started at TWU. I would say things like, "I'm not exactly sure what I want to do...but that magazine writing class sounds cool." And she said something like, "You love it and you're good at it--check it out. I think communications might be a good fit for you." She was right. And it was a decision that shaped my life.

There's a God connection factor.

We met in algebra class. We went to the same high school and college. We both have two younger sisters (she also got a surprise little brother when we were 15). We both sing and like to shop. We both bought our first new cars and got our first full-time post-college jobs within a month of each other.

But those things are all pretty trivial compared to this inexplicable friendship and faith bond that we have. I think we're like Naomi and Ruth or Jonathan and David kind of friends. I feel pretty blessed to have a friend like that--someone I've not only laughed (a lot!) and cried with, but someone who I've prayed with, who prays for me (and vice versa) and just has a pretty similar faith perspective. As a pastor's kid, (almost) seminary grad. and soon-to-be pastor's wife, she knows what it means to be committed to God, church and ministry as life.

And the future?

I always knew that the day would come when Devyn would have a new best friend. And I'm really glad it's someone like Ryan.

I know our friendship will change over time as our lives and experiences change...but I will not take the God connection friendship we have lightly. I'm pretty sure it will keep us friends for life and actually, forever (as long as God doesn't have us wear matching outfits in heaven...that might be a little embarassing). :)

And something else? I'm kind of psyched to find a new God connection, best friendship with the most amazing guy I'll ever know...he might be a bit of a mystery now, but the possibility that he's out there is pretty cool.

Keeping it Personal

Connecting in Seattle: Where Two Definitions Collide...
Picture the scene: It's a gorgeous sunny day in Seattle. I'm in a cute funky neighborhood with three of my friends chilling at a cool independent coffee shop (note: I still love Starbucks!).

It had a great vibe--dark wood, open spaces, comfy chairs, outdoor tables (which we picked to take advantage of April sun). It was overflowing with other twentysomething people like us.

But what were they doing? Typing away on laptops (I counted at least 15). Listening to iPods. Reading.

There's nothing wrong with any of the activities I mentioned above...it just seemed totally ironic in a place obviously designed for connection and community for people to be...connected by wires and Internet technology and not to each other. Especially on a sunny Sunday April afternoon.

The weird part? My friends and I were talking and laughing and having a great time. But I almost felt the glares of people who probably thought we were loud and obnoxious. It seemed ironic because we were the ones doing what the whole place was designed for--connecting with each other, having fun and relaxing.

In Praise of the Personal...
I have no problem with technology. But for all it's worth, online "community" seems like a shallow substitute for the real deal. I love that I can connect with my friends around the world online...but they are mostly the friends I've also connected with in person.

It seems sad that for all of the "connections" people in society (or chic indie coffee shops) have, many are missing out on the personal connections of really knowing people, caring for them and growing together in friendship and life.

I guess I hope I can keep up both kinds of connecting--I love that technology keeps me connected to friends thousands of miles away. But there's something powerful about also having real relationships with people who really know me in my day-to-day world. And even though you're reading this online, I bet you probably feel the same...