Tuesday, December 30, 2008

All the lonely people

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from ?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

("Eleanor Rigby" - The Beatles)


Loneliness. It's not a topic I've tackled in this blog yet, but it's something I've thought about this week. [And I PROMISE not to make this post depressing, but hopefully thought-provoking, (dare I say it?) entertaining and encouraging...so let's get back to the point.]


The lyrics of "Eleanor Rigby" (and my fave Doxology remix) came to mind this week as I was talking with people, at church, watching movies, reading, shopping, hanging out at restaurants...you name it. I've just realized how much loneliness impacts people of all kinds...and not many are really talking about it. And I think we should be.


Here are a few things I've learned about loneliness:


  • Loneliness impacts people in different ways.

    When I think of the stereotypical lonely person, I picture a Crazy Cat Lady surrounded by 10 cats, lots of stuffed animals and wearing a Snuggie. But a lonely person could be a bikini barista who sells coffee and a bit of her self-respect to get some attention from a guy. A lonely person could be a guy who "falls in love" with a different girl each week. It could be that guy who sits in Starbucks surrounded by people for hours with a laptop. And on some days, a lonely person could be the one you and I see in the mirror.

    I think that in their lonely moments, some people retreat--they stay at home, they write music, they read. Others suddenly become extreme extroverts--they serial date or they are constantly so "busy" they have no time to think. I've seen loneliness drive girls to relationships with loser guys, drive guys to alcohol addictions, push married people toward affairs...you name it

    The whole point is that lonely people come in all types and it's not easy to pinpoint who is lonely and who isn't...some just might like cats and Snuggies (and in case you're wondering, that's not me!...but I don't discriminate). :)

  • Lonely people sometimes have lots of friends.

    This may sound like an oxymoron to some people, but some of the loneliest people I've ever met or seen have lots of "friends."

    The problem? Having lots of friends doesn't make you fulfilled. And "lots of friends" doesn't equal good, solid, "no matter what" friendships.

    Take Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears, for example. They have lots of people that "LOVE!!!" them. Millions of people know who they are and want to be like them--but they've both gone through a series of failed relationships, battled addictions...you name it (hello, Sinead O'Connor look!)--why? I think (and they've both said stuff similar to this themselves) at the core, they were looking for love and couldn't find it in another person, purse or pill.

    This may sound cliche, but I believe that in all of us, there's a piece of our hearts designed for God. And sometimes we look to other things or people to fill it--and they can't.

  • Single people aren't the only ones who are lonely.

    Similar to the second point--but I thought it's worthwhile to point out that people who are married or in dating relationships can get lonely. But even a great husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend can't fill all our relationship needs...for God, yes, but also for healthy relationships with others.

Loneliness may not be the greatest feeling in the world...but I think it's something everyone faces at some point in their lives. The key is how we respond to it.

Some Christians will also say the cliche things like, "God is more than enough. He's all I need." Ultimately, this is true...but God also created us for relationships with others. And on the flip side, sometimes being by yourself can be healthy--you can focus on your relationship with God, your goals for the future, or reflect on changes you may need to make in your life.

To some extent, I think a healthy response to loneliness is about balance and attitude. Or perhaps just being observant to share love, light and friendship to "all the lonely people" who may be in your world.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The God who gets me

"You just don't understand!"

It's the mantra of (almost) every teenager, but underneath the classic teen angst, I think most of us are expressing a deep heart cry--to be understood, to have people in our lives who really get us for who we are. I think it's a desire that outlives our acne--it's something that sticks with us all of our lives.

The past few weeks at Anthem Young Adults' Network, we've been talking about how Jesus is Immanuel--God with us. I've heard that since I was a little girl in Sunday School listening to the Christmas story recited by older kids in retired bath robes who also played "Jingle Bells" on their kazoos.

But this season, I heard it--Jesus is Immanuel, God with us--in a fresh way. Maybe it was partly due to an incredible video or a message or just thinking about different life experiences I've had or gone through with friends and family.

It's interesting to really think of Jesus as God with us--the God who gets you and me. After Anthem, I went home and started making a list of some of the ways He can relate to you and me and our experiences on this planet. It's by no means a comprehensive list--but here's what I have so far:

  • Jesus had parents.
  • Jesus had siblings (at least one--James, son of Mary and Joseph).
  • But in a way, Jesus was also an only child (God's only Son).
  • Jesus went to school.
  • Jesus went to church (synagogue).
  • At times in His life, Jesus followed others and submitted to their imperfect authority (even though He was perfect God in flesh!).
  • Jesus also knew what it meant to lead.
  • Jesus probably felt a bit different sometimes--like people didn't get Him.
  • But He also fit in and hung out with lots of types of people--rich, poor, scholars, sinners, men, women, etc.
  • Jesus knew what it was like to have great friends.
  • Jesus knew what it was like to be betrayed by a friend.
  • Jesus had a job--he worked as a carpenter until he was 30.
  • Jesus was single.
  • Jesus knew what it was to be unnoticed or undervalued.
  • Jesus knew what it was like to be in the spotlight, followed by thousands. [ Random rabbit trail, but I kind of smiled when I thought about this--I wonder if Jesus was ever the "It" bachelor of Nazareth? If my mom had been around back then, she would have said to me, "He builds things! He treats his mother well! He likes kids! He's practically perfect...what's not to like?" :) ]
  • Jesus celebrated and had fun.
  • Jesus cried.
  • Jesus had close friends who were sick.
  • Jesus experienced the death of at least one close friend (Lazarus--before He brought him back to life!) and a parent (Joseph).
  • Jesus spoke out against injustice.
  • Jesus showed kindness and bestowed dignity on outcasts in society (women, Samaritans, lepers...and more).
  • Jesus hung out with people who were really lost.
  • Jesus challenged hypocrisy.
  • Jesus forgave others.
  • Jesus loved deeply.

There's probably a million more. But how miraculous is it that I get to serve a perfect, all-knowing, all-powerful God who can personally relate with my life? A God who doesn't just know what I feel (good or bad), but can actually empathize with my tough experiences and celebrate my happiness?

Wow. I wonder how people--how I--would live if we really knew and daily recognized that's the kind of God we can actually get to know?

I hope that this lesson of the true gift of Christmas--Immanuel, God with us--the God who gets us--stays close to your heart and mine this season.

Much love to you.

Monday, November 10, 2008

You have 5 minutes to make a difference

Five minutes.

That's all the time I spent with one little girl on Saturday...one little girl who I hope I remember forever.

This past Saturday, I was volunteering as a face painter with the Justice Project at a registration day for Operation Blessing, our church's annual Christmas party for low income kids in the Tacoma/Pierce County area. Hundreds of kids showed up with their parents to write "Dear Santa..." letters requesting Christmas gifts, hoping to receive something this holiday season. But at Champions Centre, we wanted the whole experience to be fun--to help each child feel special and loved throughout the entire process.

Enter free facepainting. :)

"What do you want to be?" I asked each child who came to my station.

"Hold your head up higher," I said over and over throughout the morning to boys and girls accustomed to looking toward the floor at secondhand tennis shoes.

"What are you hoping for this Christmas?"

The answers to the last question varied--from High School Musical CDs to bikes to Nintendo Wii.

But the girl I won't forget was different. Her answer?

"A bed." She answered quickly, simply.

When she said it, my heart hurt.

But I realized she was not looking for my pity. So I offered what I have--my hope.

"I really hope Santa brings that for you this year. Now take a look in the mirror--you're a princess!"

Her brown eyes widened and a smile brightened her face.

I may not have done much in five minutes--but hopefully telling a little girl to hold her head higher and to believe she could be a princess meant something. I don't think I changed her life in five minutes--but she changed mine.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Quote of the day...from a smart guy


"Not everything that can be counted counts,
not everything that counts that can be counted."
- Albert Einstein

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Taking responsibility...seriously

"I'm taking responsibility--
for my thoughts, my actions, my words.
For how I spend my time and my money.
And I'm taking responsibility for my personal relationships."



When was the last time you heard anything like this from a politician, business executive, pastor or professor?



The more important question? When was the last time you said or thought anything like this yourself?



Ouch! For most of us, the word "responsible" isn't fun. It sounds boring. It sounds serious. And maybe it is--but responsibility is important.


In this crazy world of political firestorms, moral failures and economic uncertainty, it is far too easy to play the blame game. It's also easy to become so overwhelmed that you feel powerless to do anything at all.


Here's the good news: you and I may not be in control of everything--but we can be in charge of some things.


This post I want to challenge us (I'm included here, too!) to be personally responsible for the some things we can control. Here are some questions, thoughts, facts and ideas for us both to consider:


  • Why do I think the way I think?

    This question sounds pretty basic. But sometimes, our perspectives are so ingrained that we forget what they're based on. In the last few months, I've heard good people I care about say things ranging from, "Men are pigs" to "Women are crazy." I've heard "Democrats are evil" and "Right-wing religious people are so ignorant." For the record, I don't personally agree with any of those statements...but when I've heard them from others, I've wanted to ask them this simple question, "Why?"

    Often, we think certain things simply because we always have. Maybe because we were hurt in the past. Or we believe something simply because our families raised us to think that way.

    And maybe what you and I think is actually right--I personally just feel it's important to own what you think--and to really understand what it's grounded in.

    [Important sidenotes for Christians: In the quest to know why you think what you think, you're probably going to look at the Bible for guidance (and I hope you do). The Bible has a lot to say about topics I've heard discussed recently--answers for questions like, "How does God view the poor? The rich? Whose job is it to help those in need?", "How does the Bible talk about the role of government (kings)?", "What's God's perspective on men? Women?" or "How does the Bible talk about work? Money? My life's purpose?"

    But the Bible is referred to as a sword for a reason--its truth is sharp and can pierce your heart--or it can be dangerous if you view it through the lens of, "How can I use Scripture to prove my point?" (See "Google faith" post.) I'm not going to use this post to tell you what I think (that kind of defeats the point of encouraging you to take responsibility for it yourself!), but I would challenge you to look at the Bible honestly--and if you have questions, to talk with Christian leaders you respect.]
  • How do I spend my time?

    Time is one resource that's distributed equally to every living person on this planet--we all have 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week and 365 days each year. But what are we doing with it?

    If you asked most people about their goals, you'd hear, "Spending more time with my family", "Building stronger relationships", "Growing in my faith," "Helping people in need" or "Getting in shape."

    But do we make time to pursue the things that really matter to us?

    A lot of people end up wasting time...watching TV, surfing the Internet, staying in the wrong job...instead of viewing time as an asset to help them reach their goals. I'm not advocating a life of constant busyness (that's stressful!), but taking responsibility for how you use your time (and yes, sleep can be good and healthy, too). :)
  • How do I spend my money?

  • This is an interesting question for a lot of people right now. And if you know me, you know I love my Starbucks and fashion bargains...but I could not in good conscience spend money on those things without prioritizing the things that matter so much more. For one, tithing (yup, a full 10%) and giving additional offerings to my church. When it comes down to it, that's a non-negotiable spending commitment every Christian should take serious responsibility for....with a smile (because it is so rewarding!).

    [If you're a pastor or leader reading this--don't be shy about telling your members how important giving is, what a difference it makes or even how their money is spent. (See also "The Emmys, the Bible and the grace of giving") I think some people honestly have no idea...or don't think about...how much it takes to pay electric bills, support missionaries or help children in the community. Be straight-up honest and real with us. It's important.]
    And it sounds basic...but paying bills is important. I believe in avoiding interest charges by paying off credit cards every month (which means not over charging!). And if you can't do that yet, start paying more than the minimums...and avoid extra spending.

    Beyond that? Personally, I think it's important to save for my future and retirement (yes, working at a financial services company has really helped me to see how important it is to start...and to start early).

The bottom line? Real change starts with you and me individually--taking personal responsbility for our perspectives, our time and our wallets. Let's not worry about stuff we can't control. Let's not put all of our faith in John McCain or Barack Obama. Let's put our trust in God--and our God-given ability to make choices. Let's start to take responsibility...seriously.









Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Women and politics

I'm thankful for Hillary Clinton.

I'm thankful for Sarah Palin.

I know those two ideas seem contradictory--or maybe shocking to some of you. Let's be clear--I don't agree 100% with either candidate. But I hope both of them have helped pave the way for female leaders--in politics, in business, in non-profits and more.

It's not that I don't respect or value male leaders--I do. And I'm not some wild and crazy feminist pushing for women to rule the world no matter what their qualifications or values. But I think women have something unique to bring to the table, the boardroom, the pulpits and the podiums across the globe.

Do I think the glass ceilings are gone? All it takes is a look at the campaigns and media portrayals of Clinton and Palin to see that the glass ceilings for female leaders still exist in 2008.

Female leaders have been judged more on their personalities than their platforms--Clinton is labeled "too tough" and "too harsh," while Palin is "too folksey."

They've been judged more on their looks than their records--critiqued for their suits, hairstyles and eyeware. At one point (the early Clinton years), Hillary was "too plain" or "kind of nerdy", while Sarah has been dubbed "a hot babe" and "Caribou Barbie."

Part of me wonders if it is a "glass ceiling" or more of a "sticky floor"? In other words, are women held back by male chauvinism or do we hold ourselves back?

Here are some things I think we as women can do to help ourselves and each other:

1. Stop critiquing women you like or don't like based on their appearance. (And if you are a woman, include yourself in this category.)

2. For every compliment you give another woman on her appearance, think of something else you can compliment about her skill, talent, leadership ability, character, etc.

3. Know that you have something to contribute to whatever sphere of influence you have. If you're invited to a business meeting, speak up and share your ideas. You are a unique person with distinct talents, skills and knowledge to bring to your role--as a friend, employee, volunteer, wife, mother, etc. Statistically, a lot of women have strong "people insight," the ability to see the big picture, think creatively, express themselves well verbally--if you have these skills, use them.

4. Have confidence in your leadership ability. I've seen some female leaders who, instead of making small decisions they're capable and empowered to make, constantly second-guess themselves or try polling others--when their team members are thinking, "Can't they just make a decision?!?"

5. Learn how to delegate or challenge the status quo when appropriate. Sometimes saying, "I don't think doing X makes sense for our organization. Here's why..." can save your organization money, time and resources. Yet often, women seem to feel as if they are "order takers" who have to go along doing the grunt work for whatever task their (predominantly male) managers request.

On the flip side, sometimes managers are thankful to be challenged on their thinking--your diverse opinion and creative ideas may be a huge asset to them. I've heard some say things to the effect of, "I hadn't thought about that perspective before...but that approach really makes sense."

6. Don't be afraid to try new things. More than men, I think women can be held back by their own fear a and downplay their stengths--a deadly combination. "I can't apply for that job because I don't have the degree required" or "I can't go to college now. I have kids." If you have a desire or a dream to do something new, go for it. A lot of guys seem to have this competitive, know-how spirit (at least in the workplace) that helps them to advance--maybe it's the same trait that causes them not to ask for directions when they're lost on trips. :) I think we as women can learn something from their confident approach to tacking challenging situations.

7. Encourage and help other women to succeed. If you are a leader, be a mentor to the next generation of women. Help them to learn from your mistakes or challenges. Listen to them and encourage them.

Who knows? Maybe we can clean up that sticky floor.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Fun Starbucks cup quote of the day

"When I was young I was misled by flash cards
that xylophones and zebras were much more common."
- Amy-Elyse Neer (Artist & Starbucks customer, San Jose, CA)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Cool things lately

Sole amazing shoe find: Black heels from Target - Who says you can't be a little sassy at work? (At least with your shoes!) These black pumps by Isaac Mizrahi prove that chic doesn't have to be expensive--and hot (these are higher than they look--and shiny black patent) doesn't have to be trashy.







Billionaire with a brain & heart: Warren Buffett - Okay, so he's not my normal type :) , but I think Warren Buffett is a cool guy for several reasons--he gives big (largest donation to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation), he's smart, he's savvy when it comes to investments, and he's confident. At a time when many people are afraid about money, Buffett exemplified confidence by injecting over $5 billion into Goldman Sachs. This one simple act showed people that one of the world's smartest investors believes in a good company with strong fundamentals--he has faith that our economy will get better and that other investors will start to get rational about their investments instead of being driven by fear.





Starbucks drink: Salted caramel hot chocolate - Careful kids, this drink could be lethal. I know it sounds a little weird--but it's amazingly good. Just reserve it for special occasions--or pretend you don't care about nutrition facts.





Hanging with friends: Season of showers - In the past month or so, I've gone to some type of shower (baby, bridal, engagement) almost every week. It's been exciting to catch up with old friends, make new ones and celebrate some exciting occasions.


Crazy video clip: Opera singing by Wisit from "Top Design" - I don't really know how to explain this...except to say that it makes me laugh every time I watch its hypnotic weirdness.





Books: The Post-Secret series - Recently, I read through several Post-Secret books compiled by Frank Warren. Basically, he asked random people to submit their secrets--some of them are funny, some are really serious and some just make you think. But if you're like me and generally curious about people, it's worth checking out.




Music: Love Jackson Waters lately. Also check out new Brit import Adele--I like the song "Chasing Pavements."

Something I hope never to see at Champions Centre: "Renewed mind is the key" dance There are no words. :)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Think. Speak. Act.

"How would you react...if you won the lottery?"


"How would you react...if you lost your job?"


"How would you react...if a new position opened up at work and you and your best friend were both interested in applying?"


I was sitting oh-so-innocently in my Toastmasters' club meeting yesterday when the last question was asked of me. It was part of our weekly "Table Topics" exercise where we are asked a question and told to speak "off the cuff" for at least a minute without ums, ahs and filler words.


It's tougher than you think. But what stood out to me yesterday was the "How would you react...?" theme.


You and I may not ever win the lottery, lose our jobs or compete with a friend for a new position. But everyday, I think someone (even if it's solely God) asks us, "How would you react...?" in some form or another.


I thought about that basic question a lot yesterday--especially when we were talking about politics at young adults' group.


When I thought about living as a Christian in a way that honors God, I came up with three key steps to decision-making. I don't always follow them, but I hope this post (or even the process of writing it!) will help you and I as we make key choices in our lives. So here goes:


Think.


This seems simple. But how many times do we make decisions by "going with the flow" with what friends, co-workers or family members do? How easily do we buy in to someone else's logic--whether it's a teacher, pastor, professor or newscaster--without digging for the truth ourselves?


God gave us brains. I think He likes--and even expects--us to use them. He is the source of truth, so when we search for real truth, we are actually pursuing God, getting to know Him and His thoughts better. I think He absolutely loves it when we have a passion to know more (just as long as we always recognize we can never know it all!).


What does this mean in real life? Knowing what the Bible says. Looking for hard facts uncluttered by someone else's perspective (and those can be tough to find--even in the news!). Owning my personal responsibility to continually pursue wisdom. For me, one of the key messages of Anthem last night was, "Know what you believe and why. Look at the facts about the candidates (like their voting records). Look at the Bible for what it says, not just what you want to hear (see my past "Google faith" post for reference)." I love that.


Speak.


Part of decision-making does involve speaking with others. First, it should involve talking to God--praying and asking for wisdom and clarity throughout the whole decision-making process. But I think it also can involve seeking the counsel of people you trust.


That may sound contradictory to my first point. But there's a big difference between aimlessly following the herd and truly having your own opinion while remaining open to hear what other trusted people in your life have to say.


Sometimes speaking means standing up for what you believe in. Having the courage to talk about tough things in a kind way. Sharing what you believe or feel with people who might reject you.

Act.

Knowing what you think or talking about it is good--but incomplete. I believe our actions are a critical part of the equation, but action is often left out of decision making.

For example, there are a lot of Christians who believe in helping those in need. They think it's right. They talk about how important it is. But when given the opportunity to actually volunteer and serve people in the community, they don't show up. They don't give financially to their own churches or non-profit organizations that serve the poor. (And as a sidenote, it's not a big surprise to me that politicians can be hypocritical in this area, too.)

I'll be honest in the fact that I'm not a huge fan of political grandstanding--I have close friends on both sides of the political spectrum. I've found myself irritated in this election season with how some people go on and on bashing politicians on "the other side."

And then I did a quick heart check.

Because as much as I don't like heated debates, at least I have friends who are passionate about what they believe. They're going to vote. They're going to talk to other people about voting. They're going to help other people register to vote. They're going to campaign for people they believe in.

There is something much worse--apathy. In this country, we have freedom. It's a rare privilege. In so many places around the world, people don't have a voice (especially if you're a woman, a Christian or a minority). Thousands of people throughout history have given their lives so that you and I can live in this freedom--so we can vote.

And millions of us act like we don't care. Millions of Americans don't vote.

Connecting the dots...

I hope if you're reading this, you don't think it's just about politics, Christianity or a strange group called Toastmasters (and if you're wondering - no, we don't cook toast in our meetings). :)

For me, this post is about decisions--and decisions define our destinies.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Starbucks quote of the day: Arrogance and empathy

"Insensitivity makes arrogance ugly;
empathy is what makes humility beautiful."
- Renford Reese, Ph.D.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Confidently speaking...

"It's all about confidence--in the markets, in ourselves, in life," the reporter said.

As I sat channel-surfing the evening news, this statement caught my attention. I'm relatively new to working in the investment industry. But the past few weeks, it's been interesting to see how fear plays such a key role in the financial markets...and in our everyday lives.

Take public speaking, for example. Statistics show us that people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death. Seriously. But consider how much of our lives is determined by how well we speak and project confidence to others--in a job interview, on a first date, when talking to others about God?

The importance of confidence? HUGE!

One thing I've thought about lately is that in times of uncertainty, it's important to know what or who you can be confident in. What do you really know for sure? What (or who) can you really trust?

I love that the Bible speaks to our everyday needs and emotions. This past weekend, our pastor read this verse that I wish so many Christians, investors, women, men, teenagers really believed as true:

So do not throw away your confidence;
it will be richly rewarded.
You need to persevere
so that when you have done the will of God,
you will receive what he has promised.
(Hebrews 10:35-36)
God doesn't promise that life will be without problems or uncertainty. But He does promise to be there with us--to be the same, unchanging good, loving, gracious God every single moment of every single day. He promises that if we follow His word and walk in His will, we'll receive the benefits of what he's promised us.
Of all things to have confidence in, being confident in God and His promises sounds pretty good to me.

Friday, September 12, 2008

The truth about secrets

“My boyfriend thinks I love football. The truth? I don’t know the difference between a first down or a third down, the Raiders or the Patriots…and I don’t really care."

“I don't like my job. And I feel horrible even writing that when so many people would die to have what I have. It's a dream job...but it's not my dream."


"I'm in love with my best friend. I'm pretty sure she likes me, too, but she's into the whole 'the guy asks the girl out' kinda thing. I'm not afraid of commitment or even that our friendship will change. I'm afraid that she'd settle for me...that I may not be the kind of guy she deserves."


I stood in the middle of Hudson News at O'Hare reading secrets like this compiled in "Post Secret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives" by Frank Warren. I don't know the full backstory on the book, but it looks like the author may have just found some of the secrets--there was a mix of drawings on napkins, letters, e-mails. As I flipped through the pages, I felt like I was eavesdropping on other people's lives...but I was completely sucked in to the secrets of strangers.

Perhaps it was largely due to curiosity. But just flipping through that book, I thought about a few truths I know about secrets:

  • We're more alike than we're different.

    What were most people's secrets about? Love. Family. Purpose. Friendship. Faith. As different as we are, most of us care most about the big things in our lives...and I think that's pretty cool.


  • Writing a secret can be cathartic. But think carefully when you hit "send", "post" or mail that letter.

    I personally know that writing your thoughts can be empowering, rewarding, or even cathartic. Writing something down on paper or on screen makes your thoughts more real--they actually become tangible ink on paper, words on a screen. When you write, you are trying to make sense of your experience--capturing your ideas into words. However, I am also really glad that there are letters I haven't mailed, e-mails I haven't sent or blog posts I haven't published. I wonder how many of the contributors to Post Secret wish their secrets never saw the stands at Hudson News, Borders or your local library.


  • If someone entrusts you with a secret, guard it carefully ...

    I just did a quick Bible search on the word "secret" and one of the references that stood out to me said, "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret" (Proverbs 11:13). Learning to be quiet or stop a gossip train isn't easy for everyone. But by being a good listener and guarding the secrets of others, you become a trusted friend/family member and ally.


  • ... But the truth always comes out.

    This was something my Dad used to tell us while we were growing up--mainly to help us end major family dramas--like cheating at Candyland (you know who you are, middle sister!). But I think he was definitely right. Ultimately, God knows everything about all of us, so there aren't really any secrets. And from what I've seen, secrets--like motives--often surface in the real world, too. I think by teaching us this, my Dad was teaching us to live honest lives of integrity--to be who we said we were. It's been a good lesson to learn.

  • Some secrets shouldn't be secret.

    When I flipped through the Post Secret book, I was a bit surprised that some of the entries were secrets. People wrote such beautiful things about how much they loved a spouse, children, parents, etc.--and I can only hope that those secrets were shared with the people who were so appreciated, respected or loved.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

5 (more!) reasons why the Puyallup Fair makes me smile

1. Two words: elephant ears.





2. Adults wearing overalls in 2008.



I like overalls ... on children under 5. And at one point, I did wear them as a teen because they were trendy for some unknown reason (any other girls wear the cordoroy overalls in the '90s?). But I'll be real--they just don't look good on most adults. And if you are one of the few people in America that actually looks great in overalls, you would probably look a million times better in anything else (okay, maybe not Hammer pants). :)

3. Furry hats.

I don't know what it is. But at the fair, people are willing to spend actual cash money on tacky trashy things they would never ever buy anywhere else. Take furry hats, for example. I kept seeing posses of otherwise fashionable preteen girls wearing these tacky trashy furry hats.
It seriously looked like they were dressing up for Halloween as the creepy guy named "Mystery" (whose real name is probably something like Melvin) from VH1's "The Pick-up Artist" or hosting the most disturbing version of the Mad Hatter's tea party in Alice in Wonderland.

[Sidenote: That movie must have been seriously made by people smoking crack. The girl eats mushrooms and pills and grows or shrinks? The caterpillar sings hypnotic songs with a smoke pipe that spells with pretty bright colors? Cats with creepy smiles appear out of nowhere and then suddenly disappear? Why did our parents let us watch this movie...? :) ]

4. The Gravitron



You may know that I love crazy rides and rollercoasters. But back in the day, I also loved the Gravitron--this fast spinning ride that lifts kids up in the air (without a booster seat, thank you very much!) and somehow makes it feel as if you weigh a million pounds when you try to lift up your arms or legs. Perhaps schools should have these rides on playgrounds to stop the obesity epidemic in America. It would be way cooler than vegetables. :)

5. The $400 blender

What cracks me up about this is not the blender itself. But how easily my Dad gets sucked into the vortex of logic that would compel someone to buy one.

"You can make really good smoothies and soup. All in one machine! And it's healthy, too!" he says, his eyes wide as he sips on some chocolate-strawberry concoction of goodness (healthy?).

And Mom will usually come back with, "When was the last time you actually made a smoothie? Or cooked some soup?"

"Maybe I would if I had that blender," he says.

"Or maybe with $400, we could buy a whole lot of Campbell's and some Jamba Juice," she smiles.

This ability to get sucked into a vortex of smooth salesmanship makes it difficult for my Dad to walk through Costco on sample day with a list or attend rummage sales and auctions without my Mom [ "This organ was only $100 and it was for a good cause!" he said. "But no one in our family plays the organ or ever wants to," she replies]. I love this family! :)

P.S. Here's the list from last year ... in case you missed it.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Smart is hot

Awkward moments ... do you have them? (If you've read this blog for awhile, you know I do!) Let me tell you about a little awkward moment that happened today...

Here's the scene: I'm at work. I've just finished a meeting about a project with a colleague and my boss' boss. My boss' boss (a woman about my mom's age) turns to me and says, "I've just got to say one more thing...you are so pretty...those eyes, that smile. I don't understand why you're not married."

Awkward silence. I smile and say, "Thanks." (How exactly are single people supposed to respond to that question...especially in the office?)

"Pretty and smart...that combination just must scare guys."

I'll be fair and say that I really like my boss' boss--she was trying to compliment me. And I like compliments no matter where they come from or however oddly they surface.

But I will be honest--part of me is a little scared that her final statement may be accurate.

(Sidenote: I'm not saying I agree with her assessment of me specifically--to some degree, I think beauty and smarts are in the eye of the beholder).

But are people (and guys in particular) afraid of a "pretty" and "smart" combination? Why? And what in the world can we do to change that?

Can beauty and brains coexist? In a woman?

When was the last time you saw a woman on TV or in a movie who was portrayed as both extremely beautiful and really smart? Anyone?

For some reason, Hollywood has reduced most women to caricatures--you're either really hot and dumb (see Jessica Simpson and Pam Anderson) or smart and not that cute.

I haven't seen it yet, but there's a new movie out called the "House Bunny" that appears to illustrate this point. The concept of the movie is that there's a sorority of smart girls who are frumpy, out-of-date, unpopular and unattractive. Who comes to save them? The classic former Playboy bunny (read: shapely, thin blonde) who is also caricaturized (misspelling intentional) as an idiot. Ugh.

Can you imagine if men were constantly pigeonholed like that--as hot bumbling idiots or geeky brainiacs? At one point in time, African-Americans were portrayed similarly in the media ... and many are still fighting the stereotypes associated with those horrible portrayals. Why in the world do we still allow the media to continually portray women this way in the 21st century?

I wonder if some people have tried to stifle the beautiful power of brains.

How would the world be different if women were unashamed of their intelligence?

The media has shown us that it's okay to flaunt our sex appeal--but smarts? Not unless you want to branded as a woman who's crazy ambitious, witchy (or something that rhymes with that), unpopular or ugly.

I'm sick of it. So how do we turn the tables? Somehow, I think we need to convey the idea that smart is hot. Here are a few of my own personal ideas ...

Why smart is hot

  • Smart women are kind to others. Contrary to the soap opera diva or manic businesswoman image, truly smart women are actually nice. They're kind to others because it's the right thing to do ... but also because they know that kindness leads to good relationships ... and good relationships are essential to any kind of success in life (with God, their families, colleagues, customers, etc.).

  • Smart women are interesting. Let's face it--external beauty is appealing to people (and guys in particular). But physical attraction can only last so long. If a woman isn't smart, she probably doesn't have much of interest to say ... and that gets old quickly.

  • Smart women make good decisions--take is as a compliment if they
    choose you.
    One thing I've heard repeatedly about guys is that they like to be respected and admired. But most smart women do not give away their respect and admiration lightly. If you're a guy dating or married to a smart woman, you can take it as a serious compliment that she has chosen you.

Smarts, like looks, vary...

It's also important to point out that there are several different kinds of intelligence. Most of us aren't geniuses at all of them. But I think it's amazing that God created us with different types of smarts--some have people smarts, others have creative intelligence and others may be just plain logical.

I just Googled "intelligence" and "types" and found this piece of interest--it talks about nine different types of intelligence!

In addition to this list, I would argue that there may also be a type of spiritual intelligence--a kind of inexplicable wisdom that comes from God, knowing His Word and applying it to your life--to the point where it almost becomes intuitive, where you're living in tune with the Holy Spirit and His direction.

And that's definitely hot.

P.S. I also previously wrote a related (more guy-driven) topic called "Why bold is hot"

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Cool things lately...

I have a confession--I have not been good at keeping up my blog lately. I do think it’s a bit funny that my “Cool things of the week” postings have morphed into “Cool things of the month” and now “Cool things lately”.

Oh well. I will not live ashamed … or deprive loyal readers of reading about some of the things I’ve loved lately. So here goes:


Celeb crush - Jeff Dye: (Sigh) Not only is he adorable, but he’s also hilarious. And that, my friends, is a deadly combination. If you didn’t get to see him on Last Comic Standing, check out this clip.

On a more serious note, going to his comedy show with some amazing friends may have been the highlight of last week—all of the comedians we saw with him were fairly clean and provided some much-needed laughs for my friends and me.


Musician – Rob Blackledge: Thanks to Pandora, I discovered the musical stylings of Rob Blackledge. He’s kind of like a cross between Justin Timberlake and John Legend …high voice, but smooth piano guy stylings. Love.


Night out – BJ's with Anthem girls: Get your friends. Go to Southcenter. And check out BJ's restaurant. It’s got your basic American grub (fried and cheap), but save room for a pizookie. Wow. It’s basically a blend of chocolate chewy goodness (translation: a warm chocolate chip cookie that melts in your mouth) with vanilla ice cream. And if you’re not a chocolate chick (or guy), you can order other flavors.


  • Volunteer day: Facepainting foster kids: Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to help at a Justice Project event providing school supplies for foster kids. It was about 95 degrees and we were all scorching in the sun, but seeing their mile-wide smiles after I painted their faces was priceless. So cute!

Girl power moment: Repainting my bedroom and bathroom (in greens) and reaffixing shelves to the wall. Me + power tools + paint. Wow. :)

Cheap chic shopping finds:
Jewelry from XXI Forever at Southcenter.

Yes, you will have to brave the crowds of 14-year-old shrieking (or angst-ridden teens. But necklaces for $6.80? I'm in! Don't expect diamonds or high quality, but if you're just looking for trendy cute pieces that won't break the bank, this is the place!

  • New-to-me restaurant: Check out Cafe Divino in North Tacoma. It's a cozy cool place that's perfect for "ladies who lunch" (grab your friends, sisters, mothers and go) or a great date off the beaten path (guys, I promise it's not too girly!).

  • Quirky Olympic sport: Racewalking. Oh. My. Word. My sis and I were channel surfing and happened to see one of these racewalking competitions in process (kind of like this, but minus the background music. And picture a whole pack of these people walking in sync together). Hilarious!

    Can you imagine the post-competition interview? "Yes, Bob Costas, I train every weekday by walking from Macy's to JP Penney...it's about 2K...brutal stuff. What was that? No, I'm not gay. But the hip action I've perfected in my training has helped me to become a stellar salsa dancer. And yes, I do wear shirts with ruffles." :)

Thursday, August 7, 2008

With everything

It's been a crazy cool, incredibly powerful, life-changing week. As I'm sitting at this laptop writing, there are so many words I'd like to write...but mere words could not describe the last week at Team Church Conference 2008.

If any song captured the heartbeat of this year's conference, it was "With Everything," one of the latest songs from Hillsong's new album "This is Our God" (seriously, get it now!).

"With Everything" is a prayer. And in that same spirit, I thought I'd make this post a prayer of to God highlighting some some the nuggets that grabbed me at conference this year ... and things I need to work on.
Dear God,


  • With everything ... I will worship You. Because you are the indescribable God who blows my mind with Your love.

  • With everything ... I will chase the lions that are impossible to fight without You.

  • With everything ... I will serve You and the leaders in my life with excellence. (Even if it means I am the lone single girl at the front of the room at the sex track session--because I was asked to help with it.) :)


  • With everything ... I will lead with confidence where I'm called to lead and be a super sidekick where I am not.

  • With everything ... I will stand united with the rest of Your kids in this family called the Church.


  • With everything ... I will live a life of love. Help me to really see people as You see them. Help me to listen. Help me to see and love those who don't know You yet.

Amen!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Beautiful mystery

There are so many mysteries I will never understand (see this post for more).

Why do some guys feel the need to spit in public?

Why did people ever think Hammer pants looked cool?

Why so some people actually like Bob Dylan's music?

Joking aside, mysteries can both perplex and intrigue me. Like great music, movies, art or a message that you can listen to or watch over and over again and find something new and interesting each time. Or people who have basic surfacey stuff in common with you, but also have some mysterious depth that's interesting to discover.

Last Sunday at the Truth Project we talked about beautiful mysteries--the mystery of God's "adoption" of you and me into His family. That kind of love is, in the words of Will Ferrell (circa Blades of Glory), "mindbottling." It's beyond any love I've ever known or imagined on this planet. It doesn't make sense to my logical brain. But honestly, what truly great things ever do?

If something totally makes sense to my limited mind, it has lost its mystery...and perhaps that is the kiss of death in my book. Mystery is intriguing. It's worth pursuing. It's exciting.

I just have to remember that--instead of trying to wrap my head around everything (especially a God that can't be contained). There is beauty in mystery--and I am a little like Nancy Drew trying to discover some of the answers.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

When prayers are blocked

The Truth Project always makes me think. Always. And Wednesday night was no exception (and as a sidenote, here's what I posted the last time after I saw the very same lesson--completely different than this post).


Wednesday's lesson focused on sociology--God's view of relationships. The amazing speaker (Del Tackett), illustrated how the concepts of unity and diversity are embedded in God's very triune nature.


He also illustrated how God's systems for social order in the family, the church, etc. include similar concepts to those illustrated in the Trinity (e.g. Christ is the head of the Church, Church leaders submit to Christ and members are instructed to honor their leaders--just as the husband is the head of the family, wives submit to their husbands and children are told to honor their parents).


Among other things, one of the verses Del brought up was this:


Husbands, in the same way be considerate
as you live with your wives,
and treat them with respect
as the weaker partner
and as heirs with you
of the gracious gift of life,
so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
(1 Peter 3:7)
Whoa. That's pretty harsh. If husbands don't love and care for their wives, it hinders their prayers?


Perhaps it was because of the earlier discussion, but I started to wonder, "If this concept is true and applies to husbands and wives, could it possibly apply to other scenarios or spheres of God's design for social order?"


For example, if I'm dishonoring my parents, does it hinder my prayers? Or if I cease supporting Church leaders and reject their authority in my life, does it in some way block my prayers from reaching God's ears?

Honestly, I don't know the exact answer. But it definitely made me think (admittedly about some stuff that's not really that fun to think about!).


The bottom line? God designs and orchestrates so many of our relationships--and He takes them pretty seriously, especially those described in the Word as covenant relationships (e.g. family, Church worldwide). When there is a barrier between me and those I'm in a covenant relationship with, it can create a block between me and God. Why? Because God is part of my covenant relationships--He designed them.

I think it's pretty cool that God is a God of relationships--that He creates and lives in mine. I just have to remember not to allow anyone or anything to stand in the way of my relationship with Him.

Monday, July 21, 2008

30 days of worship music

Recently, our pastor challenged our youth and young adults to listen to nothing but praise and worship music for the next 30 days.

There are so many good reasons why it's a great idea--worship makes God bigger in our lives (than problems or gas prices!), helps us stay focused on living right, keeps our minds centered on the positive (and not criticism), etc.

But from a practical standpoint, I heard some people comment, "What am I going to listen to for the next 30 days?" or "That's going to be a lot of Hillsong!"

So...I decided to break out my CD collection and look for praise and worship music. I thought I'd use this post as a forum to let you in on some of the worship bands and CDs I like...and if you think of others, let me know:


Hillsong and Hillsong United: I'm probably more of a Hills United girl myself--and have been listening to the "I (Heart) Revolution" and "All of the Above" CDs lately.






Starfield: Starfield is a worship band out of Vancouver, BC (discovered them back in my days at Trinity Western!). "Beauty in the Broken" is an awesome worship CD--love the songs "The Hand that Holds the World" and "Unashamed". I don't have their latest CD "I Will Go" yet (I'm going to buy it on iTunes tonight!), but have been listening to some of the singles on their MySpace page. It's great!




Sonicflood - "Sonicflood" - I broke out this "oldie" worship CD (circa 1999!) in the car this morning. It's still a great CD to me with songs like "Heart of Worship" and "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever."






Delirious? "The Cutting Edge" - Delirious' album, "The Cutting Edge" is also an older CD (1997), but I think it really sparked a lot of the modern worship revolution we've seen in the Church worldwide. It's a 2-CD set packed with some of my all-time favorites like "Lord, You Have My Heart" and "Oh, Lead Me." Simple. Beautiful.




Champions Centre - "Nothing Compares": Our own worship CD includes some great tracks with the heartbeat of our House.





Others worth noting? (Though not completely my style):
  • Lincoln Brewster "Amazed"
  • Third Day "Offerings" and "Offerings II"

  • Lakewood Church

  • Reuben Morgan

  • Planetshakers

  • Darrell Evans

  • Chris Tomlin

  • Vineyard (e.g. the "Breathe" song on the "Hungry" CD is one of my faves)

  • Matt Redman

Others? I'm sure there are a ton more. I'm sure the next 30 days of worship will be amazing...but I'm more excited to live a life of worship (beyond just music) forever.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Quote of the day: Risk

I found this while I was doing a search for a work project. Hope you enjoy it:

“To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To hope is to risk pain.
To try is to risk failure,
but risk must be taken
because the greatest hazard in life
is to risk nothing.”

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Girlfriend get-away...for a day

I have a travel bug. Although I will be going out of state soon (Chicago in August, hopefully Europe/East Coast in October), I felt like exploring this past weekend. My amazingly easygoing (translation: perfect travel companion) friend Angela and I took a day exploring different places in Seattle. And apologies to my male blog readers, but our girlfriend get-away for a day focused on things we enjoy--namely, shopping, chocolate and coffee.




Wallingford: Go for the restaurants and Wallingford Center

First, we went to Wallingford. There are a lot of cute restaurants there, but not much shopping in walking distance from where we parked. We enjoyed some time at Wallingford Center, an architecturally cool building that looks like a renovated old city hall (I'm not sure what it once was). We liked Amita, a gift shop with some amazing jewelry, and Zanadia, a home furnishings store with some high-end furniture and smaller, affordable items (including candles with the Colin Cowie stamp of approval).


Ballard: Shopping, cupcakes, coffee--oh my! What's not to love?


Our first stop? Cupcake Royale, baby! I tried the mocha cupcake with...let's get crazy creative here...a mocha. Now, I'm definitely a Starbucks girl, but the coffee here (Verite Coffee) is great--and the presentation by baristas takes coffee to another, artistic level. I also learned that Cupcake Royale is a woman-owned business--another good reason to support it.

Here are a few of the stores we visited:

*Note: These are the ones I could find again on the Web--there are lots of other cute finds, though!

Duque Salon + Spa + Boutique: Check out the accessories for the best trendy deals--I found a great evening bag for a friend. They also have cute (and expensive) clothes...and a spa (if you're comfortable getting your hair cut/dyed in front of those looking at t-shirts, wallets and hair accessories).



Archie McPhee: I would call this place the Mecca of Cubicle Flair. It has a random assortment of weird stuff. Need a giant handlebar moustache? A rubber chicken? A thermal lunchbox that looks like a Chinese take-out box? This is your place...

Gifted: Smaller version of Archie McPhee...I think they sold jelly bracelets, wacky air fresheners Pop-Its and Razzles.


At one of the smaller stores we visited, I bought this yellow (yellow is my "it" color of the moment) necklace with "love" written inside. There were other options with beautiful colors and words (alive, sweet). Loved them!

Dinner: Mediterranean cuisine to die for

We headed to Cedars restaurant (which both of us had been to before). It's a Mediterranean restaurant with outdoor seating and good prices. Order the garlic nan ($2.50) as an appetizer with the hummus spread ($3.95 - comes with great pitas as well). I had coconut curry chicken for dinner ($11.95)--mmm mmm good!

Gasworks Park: Check out the view!

After dinner, we headed over to Gasworks Park (home of a huge 4th of July fireworks show). I'd never been there before, but Gasworks Park has an incredible view of Seattle and Lake Union. There's a paved trail where you can run, walk, bike, etc. and I saw some people out on picnics and tossing Frisbees.

If you want to stay in the South Sound...

For a micro-mini girlfriends get-away, grab some gelato at Forza in downtown Puyallup. Bonus--gelato has less butter fat than ice cream.

The real reason to get it? Oh. my. word. It's amazing. I've tried hazelnut and chili chocolate so far--and they both rocked.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

The not-so-basic break-up

Ironically, I was thinking the other day about the fact that sometimes I think too much.

It is a common pattern a girl crazy in hope. Maybe it's the writer in me that creates real-life stories that seem to make perfect sense ... to me anyway. :)

The problem? What I'll refer to as the not-so-basic break-up. I'm not talking about breaking up with a guy. The kind of break-up I'm referring to here is a break-up of ideals--like when something you thought was solid seems to evaporate and you're left wondering, "Did that really happen? Why? How could I have been so wrong about XYZ?"

As I was thinking, I read this passage in Joshua where these words stood out to me:

Not one word failed
from all the good words
God spoke
to the house of Israel.
Everything came out right.
(Joshua 21:45 - The Message)

My thoughts and ideals may fail me and others, but not one word of God ever fails. Ever. God speaks even when I tune Him out (unintentionally most of the time). But no matter what, His promises will come true--and if I follow Him with my whole heart (and head), things will work out right.

That seems simple enough to write and even to say--like a Sunday School-safe, politically correct kind of thing. The hard part is really believing it and actually walking it out, walking in a way where I totally trust God more than my own strength.

It's a teeter-totter of balance because God gave me a brain to use, but He also gave me (and every Christian) the Holy Spirit (the voice inside that believers often attribute to conscience, womens' intuition or a gut feeling).

Though this may not be the most amazing post I've ever written, it's an important topic I'm trying to work out. Maybe I should just let go and stop thinking--at least for now.


Related posts:

Random note - As I wrote this post today, I forgot about these older posts (which I just re-read for good measure). This is definitely something I'm continually working on and chances are, it might be affecting you, too.

Monday, June 30, 2008

My one prayer

I love cards.

Last weekend, I was actually given two in one day. One was a thank you note from two elderly women my team helped as part of the Justice Project (bringing hope, love and change to our community!)--and the other was from a great friend. In particular, one thing my friend wrote stood out to me. Inside the card, I saw the words, "You love in a big way."

As I read these words, I paused and thought, “Maybe I do…sometimes. But how would the world be different if I loved ‘in a big way’ all the time? Or even if I just tried?”

The thought resurfaced as I sat in church that evening. Right now, my church is participating in the One Prayer series with hundreds of other churches around the world. In each video message, a speaker presents "one prayer" for the Church worldwide.

At the end of last week’s message, one of our pastors challenged the congregation to consider, “What’s your one prayer?”

“Lord, help us love big.”

As I thought about the question, the words of my friend came back to me along with a kaleidascope of other questions and conversations of the past week.

For example, as part of the Truth Project, we’ve been repeatedly considered, “What if what you really believed was really real?” It’s one thing to say, “I know God loves me. I know God wants me to love others.” But it means something completely different to live as if God really does love me with an indescribable, constant, perfect love—the same kind of love I’m called to share with others.

“Show me.”

This morning, I was listening to some new music by Jon Foreman (lead singer of Switchfoot) and it prompted me to write the following prayer/poem/song [ I don’t know what exactly…and obviously :) ] of the lost.

Show me more than colored lights and sound effects.
Show me love in darkness and the light of your heart.
Give me more than beautiful noise.
Give the truth a beautiful voice.
Care about more than cars and clothes.
Care that I need love and hope.

Live love.
Give grace.
Speak truth.
Be change.

Live for more than your hopes and dreams.
Live to bring hope to all you meet.
Know more than verses and religious words.
Know that I’ve been bruised and hurt.
See beyond the mirror and stage.
See a life that can be saved.

Live love.
Give grace.
Speak truth.
Be change.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

10 things that will NOT be part of my wedding

'Tis the season--for weddings, that is. In such a season, many single girls think about their wedding day details. Some collect magazine clippings and build personal portfolios of what their Big Day will be like.

I'm not one of those girls. (But kudos to them for their organization).

Don't get me wrong--I have pretty strong ideas for what I want in the most important details (the guy, the marriage), but not so much the other stuff (outside or inside? sparkly glam dress or sophisticated simplicity?). However, I thought in the middle of wedding season, it might be fun to share some of the things that will NOT be part of my wedding day. So here goes (in no particular order)...

1. Invitations that read "Bring your own bucket of chicken!" (Sorry, Britney Spears!)



2. Pink. The singer, the color or pants with this word written across the bum.



3. Bagpipes (or the guy in this picture for that matter). Anyone that really knows me knows that I love music. But I honestly think that some instruments really might be from the Devil. :)


4. The chicken dance.



5. Vegas.





6. Accordians. (See number 3.)






7. "Butterfly kisses" - Sorry, Mom, I know you once loved this song...


8. Karaoke - Yes, my extended family does include many people who are musically talented. But it also includes some who are...how do I say this?...musically bold (especially after alcohol).


*Random sidenote: Doesn't this pic look like a guy with a mullet? I think they may also be particularly predisposed to karaoke...I'm picturing "Achy Breaky Heart" here. :)


9. Shotguns. Enough said.


10. Rollerskates. Because as much as I enjoyed my last visit to the ER, I hope it's not repeated any time soon.


Related posts:

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Super sidekicks


With every leader, there stands a great ally...

Leadership is a concept continually praised in the Christian community. There are hundreds of Christian books, messages and conferences about leadership. Young children at Sunday schools, Christian schools and kids’ ministries are encouraged to lead. We often hear about the leaders and heroes of the Bible—people like David, Joshua and Moses.

Even in secular society, leadership is highly valued. In movies, being a leading lady is viewed as better than the best friend (e.g. The Holiday). Starring as the lead actor trumps being the wingman. (What little boy wants to be Robin for Halloween when he could be Batman?) College students dream of working in the C-suite of corporate America. When was the last time you heard someone say, “I’d love to work in middle management—or better yet, the bottom of the totem pole”?

Leadership IS important. But before any one of us is a leader, we first have to learn how to follow. And beyond following, I think we should learn how to be allies for the leaders in our lives. However, I haven’t heard much about what it takes to be a good ally—a super sidekick, if you will.

Why become a super sidekick?

Being a super sidekick is important because I don’t know of anyone who is a leader in every aspect of his/her life. For example, a woman could own her own company, but she may also be a wife, U.S. citizen and volunteer at a non-profit organization. She’s definitely a leader—but she also submits to the leadership of her husband, the police and non-profit leaders.

Caleb the “Let’s go for it!” sidekick

The idea for this post started last night when I was reading my Bible and came across some verses about Caleb in the Old Testament. Remember him? He’s probably best known as Joshua’s super sidekick. Though 10 other guys looked at the Promised Land and basically said, “It’s impossible for us to take this land”, he was the one guy who stood with Joshua and said, “Let’s take this territory. We can do it!” (Numbers 13)

I haven’t really heard much about Caleb. Joshua’s “As for me and my house” speech is what's often quoted in sermons and books featuring this dynamic duo.

But the Bible says some really cool things about Caleb, the “let’s go for it!” sidekick.

After the scouting incident, God said to Moses:



"But my servant Caleb—this is a different story.

He has a different spirit; he follows me passionately.

I'll bring him into the land that he scouted and his children will inherit it. (Numbers 14:24)

And Caleb says (and does) some pretty cool things himself. This is the passage I discovered last night. Here’s what he said 45 years after the Promised Land scouting trip:


"...I was forty years old when Moses the servant of God

sent me from Kadesh Barnea to spy out the land.

And I brought back an honest and accurate report.

My companions who went with me discouraged the people,

but I stuck to my guns, totally with God, my God.

That was the day that Moses solemnly promised,

'The land on which your feet have walked will be your inheritance,

you and your children's, forever.

Yes, you have lived totally for God.'

Now look at me: God has kept me alive, as he promised.

It is now forty-five years since God spoke this word to Moses,

years in which Israel wandered in the wilderness.

And here I am today, eighty-five years old!

I'm as strong as I was the day Moses sent me out.

I'm as strong as ever in battle, whether coming or going.

So give me this hill country that God promised me.

You yourself heard the report, that the Anakim were there with their great fortress cities.

If God goes with me, I will drive them out, just as God said." (Joshua 14:-12)



So here are a few of the things I love about Caleb:



  • He was gutsy. He stood by his friend Joshua and stood up for what he believed in—even when it wasn’t popular.

  • He trusted totally in God. He continually believed God’s promises…even when it took a long time to see them (hello, 45 years!).

  • He was strong. Caleb was a tough guy in his own right (how many 85 year old warriors do you know?). Caleb’s strength wasn’t just physical—it was the strength of courage and character.

Jonathan the “I’m with you!” sidekick


Another super sidekick? David’s friend Jonathan.


Most people LOVE David (the guy after God’s own heart). I’ll be honest—I love David, too, but let’s face it—he was kind of a drama king. David had this passionate artist personality. He loved to worship God. But when he was down, he was REALLY down (and to be fair, he went through some crazy bad stuff).


But what about Jonathan? To be David’s sidekick, I think Jonathan must have had a more thoughtful, easygoing personality. He was likely the rational match to David’s emotional passion. I imagine him saying something like, “Yeah, it sucks that those guys are chasing you. But remember when you were just a kid watching sheep and that HUGE bear twice your size came after you? God helped you then—and the guys now don’t have claws, sharp teeth or sheep breath.”


Jonathan was this amazing friend through tough times. He was placed in a really tough position—his father Saul (another emotional roller coaster) wanted to kill David. Jonathan could have easily joined the “I hate David” club...or he could have been president. After all, Jonathan was next in line to become king—and David’s anointing by the prophet Samuel threatened that position. Jonathan had to choose to stand by his family or his friend.


I think ultimately, Jonathan realized his loyalty was first to God and God’s plan, so he chose David.


The Bible has some truly incredible descriptions of their friendship:


“Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.” (I Samuel 18:1)


“Jonathan said to David, ‘Whatever you want me to do, I'll do for you.’" (I Samuel 20:4)


"And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God.
'Don't be afraid," he said. "My father Saul will not lay a hand on you.
You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you.
Even my father Saul knows this."
The two of them made a covenant before the LORD. (I Samuel 23:16-17)


What kind of sidekick am I?


I’ve always known I’m called to be a leader, but this mini-study on Biblical sidekicks prompts me to wonder what kind of sidekick I should be. I don’t really have a specific answer. I hope to have the unshakable “I trust God!” strength of Caleb and the selfless, loyal love of Jonathan. The Bible doesn't talk about them much--their stories are simple. But practicing how they followed is a tough challenge—especially for leaders.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

This seriously made me laugh...

Check out "Thoughts on the iPhone" - a blog post by one of my fave musicians, Dave Barnes. It seriously made me laugh so hard I started to cry. Hilarious.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

The other side


Last week, I read a book called Darcy's Story by Jane Aylmer. It's based on my all-time favorite, Pride and Prejudice, but told from Mr. Darcy's point of view this time. Pride and Prejudice will always be my favorite (who could really top the genius that is Jane Austen?), but I was intrigued by the whole concept of viewing the same story from a different perspective.

When I first read P&P in high school, I really didn't like Mr. Darcy. After all, he's the guy who offended the amazing Elizabeth Bennet with his stand-offish manner and the appearance of arrogance. But as I read the whole story, my view changed. And, like Elizabeth, I realized that I had been a bit prejudiced against him.

I wonder how many times in my daily life that same prejudice rears its ugly head. I try not to be too judgmental. As a writer, I try to believe that "everybody has a story."

Don't get me wrong--I also believe in right and wrong. But I'm starting to understand that it's not about me versus "the other side" or "us" versus "them." I'm starting to see that most people try to do the best they know how to do--meaning that they may be captivated by thinking that is different. It's not me versus them, but rather a clash of ideas.

Sometimes, I am also captivated by thinking that is wrong or sometimes, I am just grounded in believing something is "right" because it is what I have known.

Overcoming my own bad ideas and prejudice will be the task of a lifetime, but I am trying to be shaped by God's perspective, His view of people and His view of right and wrong. His view is beyond "everybody has a story"--His view is "everybody is worth dying for"--and that is something I know is true.