Friday, September 12, 2008

The truth about secrets

“My boyfriend thinks I love football. The truth? I don’t know the difference between a first down or a third down, the Raiders or the Patriots…and I don’t really care."

“I don't like my job. And I feel horrible even writing that when so many people would die to have what I have. It's a dream job...but it's not my dream."


"I'm in love with my best friend. I'm pretty sure she likes me, too, but she's into the whole 'the guy asks the girl out' kinda thing. I'm not afraid of commitment or even that our friendship will change. I'm afraid that she'd settle for me...that I may not be the kind of guy she deserves."


I stood in the middle of Hudson News at O'Hare reading secrets like this compiled in "Post Secret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives" by Frank Warren. I don't know the full backstory on the book, but it looks like the author may have just found some of the secrets--there was a mix of drawings on napkins, letters, e-mails. As I flipped through the pages, I felt like I was eavesdropping on other people's lives...but I was completely sucked in to the secrets of strangers.

Perhaps it was largely due to curiosity. But just flipping through that book, I thought about a few truths I know about secrets:

  • We're more alike than we're different.

    What were most people's secrets about? Love. Family. Purpose. Friendship. Faith. As different as we are, most of us care most about the big things in our lives...and I think that's pretty cool.


  • Writing a secret can be cathartic. But think carefully when you hit "send", "post" or mail that letter.

    I personally know that writing your thoughts can be empowering, rewarding, or even cathartic. Writing something down on paper or on screen makes your thoughts more real--they actually become tangible ink on paper, words on a screen. When you write, you are trying to make sense of your experience--capturing your ideas into words. However, I am also really glad that there are letters I haven't mailed, e-mails I haven't sent or blog posts I haven't published. I wonder how many of the contributors to Post Secret wish their secrets never saw the stands at Hudson News, Borders or your local library.


  • If someone entrusts you with a secret, guard it carefully ...

    I just did a quick Bible search on the word "secret" and one of the references that stood out to me said, "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret" (Proverbs 11:13). Learning to be quiet or stop a gossip train isn't easy for everyone. But by being a good listener and guarding the secrets of others, you become a trusted friend/family member and ally.


  • ... But the truth always comes out.

    This was something my Dad used to tell us while we were growing up--mainly to help us end major family dramas--like cheating at Candyland (you know who you are, middle sister!). But I think he was definitely right. Ultimately, God knows everything about all of us, so there aren't really any secrets. And from what I've seen, secrets--like motives--often surface in the real world, too. I think by teaching us this, my Dad was teaching us to live honest lives of integrity--to be who we said we were. It's been a good lesson to learn.

  • Some secrets shouldn't be secret.

    When I flipped through the Post Secret book, I was a bit surprised that some of the entries were secrets. People wrote such beautiful things about how much they loved a spouse, children, parents, etc.--and I can only hope that those secrets were shared with the people who were so appreciated, respected or loved.

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