My best friend's wedding...and the friendship link

My best friend just got engaged!

I am really excited for both Devyn and Ryan (who I just recently met--great guy).

This weekend, my pastor talked about the power of relationships and the influence they can have on our lives. It made me reflect on my friendship with my best friend Devyn, how our friendship has changed over the years and some of the ways our friendship may be different going forward.

So here are some random thoughts about our friendship (and I may have to remember these for a wedding toast or cards sometime soon). :)

"Are you guys sisters?"

I don't know how many times Devyn and I have been asked this question. We don't look that much alike (we both have big eyes and smiles, though). But I think we frequently had this question come up because of the power of influence we had on each other (which is a lot after 12 years!). In high school, we started using some of the same catch phrases, our mannerisms started to become similar, sometimes we would (unintentionally) show up at school in matching or coordinating outfits (which isn't exactly cool past the fourth grade).

The best friends challenge you to grow.

Devyn and I are both a bit competitive...but I mean that in the best way. We both have this inner drive to do well at the things we're interested in. And when your best friend has a "go for it" kind of spirit, it pushes you to be your best. We challenged each other academically. We encourage each other to go for other things--from "The Sound of Music" in high school to a four-year university (when neither one of us knew how exactly we were going to pay for it all--with God's help, scholarships and a lot of hard work, we both made it!) to a European trip post-college (so much fun!).

I remember being undecided in my major when I first started at TWU. I would say things like, "I'm not exactly sure what I want to do...but that magazine writing class sounds cool." And she said something like, "You love it and you're good at it--check it out. I think communications might be a good fit for you." She was right. And it was a decision that shaped my life.

There's a God connection factor.

We met in algebra class. We went to the same high school and college. We both have two younger sisters (she also got a surprise little brother when we were 15). We both sing and like to shop. We both bought our first new cars and got our first full-time post-college jobs within a month of each other.

But those things are all pretty trivial compared to this inexplicable friendship and faith bond that we have. I think we're like Naomi and Ruth or Jonathan and David kind of friends. I feel pretty blessed to have a friend like that--someone I've not only laughed (a lot!) and cried with, but someone who I've prayed with, who prays for me (and vice versa) and just has a pretty similar faith perspective. As a pastor's kid, (almost) seminary grad. and soon-to-be pastor's wife, she knows what it means to be committed to God, church and ministry as life.

And the future?

I always knew that the day would come when Devyn would have a new best friend. And I'm really glad it's someone like Ryan.

I know our friendship will change over time as our lives and experiences change...but I will not take the God connection friendship we have lightly. I'm pretty sure it will keep us friends for life and actually, forever (as long as God doesn't have us wear matching outfits in heaven...that might be a little embarassing). :)

And something else? I'm kind of psyched to find a new God connection, best friendship with the most amazing guy I'll ever know...he might be a bit of a mystery now, but the possibility that he's out there is pretty cool.

Life Lessons from "Pride and Prejudice"

I have a confession: I will never get tired of Pride and Prejudice.


Not because I'm a Meg Ryan-wannabe circa You've Got Mail. Or because I love the male lead character Mr. Darcy (actually, I don't think a personality like his would work for me). And definitely not because I completely identify with Elizabeth Bennet (sort of...sort of Jane...sort of neither).


I think I love Pride and Prejudice (and always will) because it's timeless. And it's funny. Jane Austen writes about characters that seem strangely like people I've actually met. And the book raises themes and issues that still ring true in 2007. Here are a few examples:

• Family matters. P&P covers a lot of interesting family dynamics--the close bond of sisters Elizabeth and Jane, the domino effects of choices within a family (e.g. Lydia and Kitty's behavior toward military officers, Mrs. Bennet's lack of tact), family expectations (Lady Catherine's hopes for Mr. Darcy's marriage, Caroline Bingley's "protection" of her brother), and more.
  



• (Written) words are powerful. Throughout the book, letters prove to be a significant communication tool that shape peoples' attitudes and reveal their true nature. (I won't give away anything in case you haven't read it yet.) But as a writer myself, it's interesting to think about how careful phrasing is important, how people read (and re-read) written pieces and how much written words can have an impact.
  
  How many of us have read (or re-read) significant notes, cards or letters in our lives? There's something cool about looking at an old high school yearbook, a birthday card from a friend or an encouraging note from a leader ... they can help us remember a moment in our lives and speak to us long after their original delivery.
  


• First impressions are important ... but not always accurate. Throughout the book, first impressions shape "prejudices" and preferences that don't always turn out right. Repeatedly the characters have to overcome their initial impressions of others.
  



• People need an appropriate balance between self-awareness and consideration of others. Mr. Collins never ceases to crack me up ... he's sort of a mix between Michael and Dwight from "The Office". I think it's because of how unaware he is of himself and how people perceive him--and also because of how much he overflatters (and basically, kisses up non-stop) to people undeserving of such admiration. By no means does the book endorse disrespect--but more genuine human respect, grace and kindness for everyone (versus for example, Mr. Collins' favoritism toward those in high society).

Pride and Prejudice is fun, but it also makes me think about these issues (and more) in my own life. And I'm not an expert--but I think the best things in life--the best people in life--are those that are fun and at the same time, challenge me to be better.

Danger: You've Reached the Comfort Zone

"People should get out of their comfort zones on a daily basis. Take up knitting and boxing. It will make you so much more interesting."

- Raymond Lawson, Starbucks customer from Aurora, Illinois

It’s amazing what you can get for $2.67—a mocha and an epiphany (thanks to Starbucks!). The quote above appeared on my coffee cup yesterday morning and it made me think...what am I doing to get out of my comfort zone?

A Bumpy Ride Ahead ...
I should caveat this entry by saying that I'm definitely not a risk-taker by nature. For me, risk-taking probably isn't bungee jumping ... but something like trying the vegetables I've avoided my entire life or different types of ethnic cuisine (cauliflower or curry anyone?).

So what have I done in the last year (or what am I planning to do) to step out of my comfort zone?

• Fly on an airplane and go on a trip all by myself (I did this for the first time last February and survived--L.A. taxi trips and all).
  
• Attend a Greek festival (Did you know they really say, "Opa!"?)
  
• Cook asparagus. This was a major milestone for the one girl on the planet afraid of salad. :)
  
• Go to a rodeo. Yee haw! I ventured to the good old Puyallup Fair this fall with some friends and had a great time watching some people with some serious courage.
  
• Ride a horse. My Little Sister (from Big Brothers, Big Sisters) and I are going horseback riding in April--and I haven't done that since I was about 7.
  
• Make more new friends. By nature, I like to have a few friends that are really close. But it's also cool to have a bigger group of friends that are different from me, that help me learn from or share new experiences with. Making new friends takes time, work and effort--but it's worth it.

Stepping out of my comfort zone isn't really about trying to be more interesting--it's about challenging myself to grow and experience new things. In fact, I think it's that characteristic--that desire to grow and try new things--that makes people interesting.

So try boxing. Take up snowboarding. Or try some asparagus ... you'll be better for it.