Silence, Speech and Beauty

"When she speaks, she will have something worthwhile to say, and she will say it kindly."
(Prov. 31: 26 - The Message)

Have you ever felt like a babbling idiot? Like, in the middle of talking you're having an out of body experience when you ask yourself, "Am I still talking?" "Is this making any sense at all?" "Is anyone still listening?" I don't have these moments often, but found myself in the middle of one recently.

Sometimes I wonder if God looks at me and whispers (in a kind, Dad sort-of voice), "Shh...just be still for a moment. Listen." (Actually, I know He probably thinks that way about a lot of us at times ... I'm thinking Psalm 46:10.)

A week of silence ... ?
A few weeks ago, I had laryngitis. At first, I sounded like a mime (absolutely no voice!). Then I could whisper. For a few days I sounded like a soft rock DJ [ more Michael Bolton, anyone?:) ]. The problem? I kept talking! I tried to stop (really!), but it seemed impossible.

Maybe it's because our church's womens' conference was this past weekend, but I found myself reading Proverbs 31 (the passage that basically outlines the Biblically ideal woman) and I noticed the verse above with a new perspective.

What I learned...
In a world that prizes talking, "telling it like it is" and sarcasm, there's something to be said for listening, deliberate conversation, kindness and discernment.

I don't want to ramble. When I speak, I don't want people to hear the Charlie Brown sound effect, "Wa wa. Wa wa. Wa wa ..." I don't ever want to be one of those people who talks just to hear her own voice.

I want to be respected--someone people look to for valued input and counsel (versus the one who always chimes in with an unwanted idea or opinion). I want people to walk away from a conversation with me feeling inspired and challenged (in a good kind of way!).

"She will add beauty"
(This ties in--I promise!) I always thought my name didn't have a specific meaning because my parents simply made it up (it's a combination of their two names).

But one of the guest speakers at our womens' conference had this thing with names and explaining what they meant and it got me wondering ... what does my name really mean? What does the combination of my Dad's name (Joe - Joseph) and my mom's name (Bonita) really mean? It turns out that Joseph means "He will add" and Bonita means "beauty/beautiful" - together, "She will add beauty" ... how cool is that?

I really hope I will add beauty to the world (or He--God--adds it through me) ... not just through an outward appearance, but through a presence that brightens a room, words that inspire and challenge (see, I did connect the two ideas!) and through a life that makes a difference.

And though the phrase may hold a special meaning to me now, I think everyone can add beauty to their world--through a smile, a not-so-random act of kindness, wise advice, serving someone in need--the list could go on forever. Sometimes simple things are the most beautiful.