Why are we herding ourselves?

Is it just me? Or do people seem to be traveling in herds lately?

Is it just a female phenomenon?

I've seen it at church events. Cocktail parties. The mall. There will be one guy who's single, good looking, dresses nicely and seems able to put sentences together in a conversation. And he's surrounded. Not by the cops (hopefully), but by a herd of women.

The thing is--ultimately, not one of those women wants to be part of a herd. Most of them want to be special, noticed and singled out by this guy. And does a guy really want to be held hostage by a sea of giggling bobbleheads anyway?

There's the old joke that women always travel in herds (case in point: trips to the restroom) ... but I'm not sure if the phenomenon is exclusive to women.

Uh oh. Guys travel in herds, too?

When it comes to dating, I don't think guys travel in herds to approach women. They might have a wingman, but not a herd. But guys do stick together. I think like women, they may be secretly afraid to stand out. So instead of traveling in a pack to approach a woman, they'll just stick together in solidarity ... not just when it comes to dating, but sometimes in life.

The safety of the herd...is it a trap?

It's comfortable, easy to be "one of the guys", "one of the girls" or part of any group. There's no risk involved. You can blend in and relax.

But without risk, without standing out, can you ever be the person you were designed to be? Reach your potential? Or make an impact on the world around you? I'll leave you with this thought from an author in Real Simple magazine:

"Most of us are afraid to be controversial, or even to be intensely who we are. We're like lemonade with too much water in it and too few lemons. We dilute our "flavor" so we won't offend anyone. And, in the process, we give away our power, the essence of who we are that makes us unique and unforgettable."

(By Gail Blanke in "Dare to be Different", February 2007 issue).