It's probably one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite professors. Simple--but difficult--because it means changing, growing and challenging myself instead of focusing on what I'd like to change about other people or situations.
But when I think about this quote, the next question is inevitably ... what exactly am I supposed to be? Or more specifically, how can I live life in a way that best honors God--as a woman?
The (Sometimes Hilarious) Images of Christian Women
I think it would be interesting to someday survey random people on the street and ask, "What do you picture when you hear the words 'Christian woman'?"I think some would think of Dana Carvey dressed as "The Church Lady" on SNL. Some would picture purple-haired women in glittery gowns with thick mascara who seem to cry a lot (but mysteriously, don't choose waterproof mascara). Some might think of a nice beauty pageant-type girl who smiles a lot, talks about "World Peace", but seems a bit naiive, plastic or disconnected from real people or situations. Others might think of a woman who is simply plain, mousy, and quiet, but sweet and subservient.
Getting the Image Right: Proverbs 31
Thank goodness that the Bible actually gives women many examples that shatters some of those images to pieces. Perhaps none is as famous as the ideal woman outlined in Proverbs 31. I've read that passage multiple times before. But when I read it with fresh eyes, I saw some stuff I hadn't noticed before (I love when that happens!). So I thought I'd share some of what I learned with you.
Here are a few things I noticed about this cool Christian chick in Proverbs 31:10-31:
- She makes people proud.
Have you ever known someone who is so amazing that you're proud to know them or call them your friend? The Prov. 31 woman is like that--she's the girl whose husband is like, "I can't believe she's with me...she's so incredible. I trust her. I respect her." Her kids are proud to say, "That's my mom!" People from different circles of life--her friends, business leaders, the poor--look up to her.
"Her husband has full confidence in her..." (31:11)
"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her." (31:28) - She's smart and decisive.
"She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard."
(Prov. 31:16)
This verse jumped out at me during a recent reading (and is the reason for the Ivanka Trump reference in this post's title). It stood out to me especially because of the time period in which the Old Testament was written. I don't know of many women in 2008 who buy property and start up businesses ... and it almost sounds like she's doing this stuff with her own earnings (see below), not from her family's wealth.
I also thought this was kind of odd because it's worded, "She considers a field and buys it" not "She consults a committee" or even "She talks with her husband and they buy it." I'm not married, but if I was, I would think spending thousands of dollars without my husband's knowledge would be extreme! But maybe it's okay because they're so prosperous and successful as a team that she's simply spending out of their abundance.
Or maybe it works because he has complete confidence in her judgment and financial savvy. I don't know exactly. Anyway you slice it, this woman has brains and the ability to make good (big!) decisions.
Another reason for the Ivanka reference? This woman is in the fashion industry, too. :)
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
(Prov. 31:24)
*Note: The Bible is not saying through this reference (or some of the other stuff I'm mentioning) that all women should work outside the home or that we should all be entrepreneurial. The basic point in this part of the passage is that ... - She works...really hard...to take care of her family's needs.
The woman described in Proverbs 31 is a lot of things, but she's definitely not lazy. Not only does she go about her business ventures, but she takes care of things at home, too...is she Superwoman or what?!?
She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family. (31: 15)
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. (31:17-18)
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
(31:27) - She's generous and caring.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. (31:20)
Here's her Mother Teresa element ... she loves and cares for people. And she's generous to them. I love the phrasing here, "She open her arms to the poor." This kind woman with the "open arms" posture is not afraid of poor, she's not distant from them. She opens her arms, her heart, her life to serve others. - She plans ahead.
The Prov. 31 chick thinks ahead--it's probably part of what makes her a good business woman. But beyond that, she plans ahead on behalf of her family and anticipates
their needs. Something else interesting to note? That "plan ahead" nature eliminates a tendency to worry.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. (31:21) - She supports her husband by helping him to be his best.
This whole section of Prov. 31 is describing the ideal Christian woman, right? Not exactly.
There are a few references in this passage thrown in about her husband. But I don't think it's a coincidence. I think by simply being the incredible woman that she is, she supports her guy and helps him to be his best. He's a leader. He's respected. He is confident.
(And note to the single girls, I think a Prov. 31 woman probably does this for others beside her husband ... the basic point is that she inspires and encourages others to be their best).
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (31:11-12)
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. (31: 23) - She looks good and her house does, too.
Yes, this woman takes care of her family and her businesses. But she somehow manages
to look good, too.
It's a really short reference, but I think it's important to note, partly because so many
people quote the "charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting" verse at the end of this passage. And the verse below is not necessarily saying that this woman is beautiful as much as it's saying that she takes care of her home and her appearance.
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. (31:22) - She's strong ... and has a sense of humor.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. (31:25)
Personally, I love that these two characteristics are paired together. This Prov. 31 woman wouldn't seem cool if she was just "strong and dignified" (I'm picturing The Church Lady again). But she'd seem a little silly or shallow if she was just a giggling bobblehead. I like that she's a balanced mix of strength, dignity and joy-filled laughter. - She's wise and chooses her words carefully.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. (31:26)
Interestingly, wisdom and words are tied together here. At first glance, I'll be honest--I kind of pictured a didactic, know-it-all kind of woman--you know, someone a little bit bossy--instructing others on what to do.
But I don't think that's an accurate picture of the Bible's ideal Christian woman (the cool girl we were talking about earlier). A better view is to basically consider her "faithful instruction" mentoring--she's leading others by her words and her example. She's helping them. She's leaving a legacy and raising up another generation. Maybe she does teach, but it's "faithful" instruction. She's speaking words that are full of faith and encouragement. - Most importantly, she loves God.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. (31:30)
Yes, this is the verse quoted most often from this passage. And it is really important. But something interesting? It's the only verse explicitly mentioning God in this whole Bible passage about the ideal woman.
The entire Prov. 31 passage doesn't describe her as the Christian Snow White dancing through the forest singing (or whistling!) worship songs while she works. It doesn't talk about her teaching Sunday (er ... Saturday) School at the synagogue. And I have to ask, "Why not?"
The answer may be in the next verse:
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (31:31)
The point? Her whole life--respecting her husband, loving her family, serving people--was worship. Her faith was expressed through her works. She honored God with her everyday life. And I think that's probably the coolest thing about her.
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