Last night I went to Applebee's for dinner and ended up having a conversation about one of the character qualities I appreciate most in other people I consider role models, mentors and friends.
What is it?
The ability to be authentically themselves and demonstrate Christ's grace and kindness to others--regardless of economic class, popularity or convenience.
There's this friend I know, for example, who has the ability to make everyone she meets feel special and important--whether it's a 12-year old girl, an awkward guy, an older couple or a leader.
Chicks and Cliques
As I talked last night at dinner with another friend, we reflected on just how rare that quality is. Most people--particularly women--find it easier to stay within the comfort zone of a clique (I'll be totally honest and include myself in this camp sometimes). Some will talk to you with roaming eyes--scanning the room to talk with a guy or someone else just a little bit cooler. Sometimes, they'll act differently around the person they're trying to impress or treat you differently when that guy/girl walks in the room.
I really haven't met too many guys who have this hang-up--why does the clique mentality seem to be a female phenomenon?
My smart dinner companion had an interesting idea, "Maybe it's a security thing. Most women like security and it's 'safe' to stay with the familiar," she reasoned, "Some reach up to impress those who are popular, pretty or wealthy--ignoring those who don't meet their status standards. On the flip side, others avoid the girls who may fit the pretty, popular and higher economic status labels because they're jealous, intimidated or have preconceived ideas of what those girls will be like."
Hmm...
Captivating Beauty
What is it?
The ability to be authentically themselves and demonstrate Christ's grace and kindness to others--regardless of economic class, popularity or convenience.
There's this friend I know, for example, who has the ability to make everyone she meets feel special and important--whether it's a 12-year old girl, an awkward guy, an older couple or a leader.
Chicks and Cliques
As I talked last night at dinner with another friend, we reflected on just how rare that quality is. Most people--particularly women--find it easier to stay within the comfort zone of a clique (I'll be totally honest and include myself in this camp sometimes). Some will talk to you with roaming eyes--scanning the room to talk with a guy or someone else just a little bit cooler. Sometimes, they'll act differently around the person they're trying to impress or treat you differently when that guy/girl walks in the room.
I really haven't met too many guys who have this hang-up--why does the clique mentality seem to be a female phenomenon?
My smart dinner companion had an interesting idea, "Maybe it's a security thing. Most women like security and it's 'safe' to stay with the familiar," she reasoned, "Some reach up to impress those who are popular, pretty or wealthy--ignoring those who don't meet their status standards. On the flip side, others avoid the girls who may fit the pretty, popular and higher economic status labels because they're jealous, intimidated or have preconceived ideas of what those girls will be like."
Hmm...
Captivating Beauty
Later that night I was at home doing my regular Bible reading and read this passage:
Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs.
There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God,
will be captivated by your life of holy beauty.
What matters is not your outer appearance—
the styling of your hair,
the jewelry you wear,
the cut of your clothes—
but your inner disposition.
Cultivate inner beauty,
the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.
The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way,
and were good, loyal wives to their husbands.
Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham,
would address him as "my dear husband."
You'll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same,
unanxious and unintimidated.
1 Peter 3:1-6
(The Message)
There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God,
will be captivated by your life of holy beauty.
What matters is not your outer appearance—
the styling of your hair,
the jewelry you wear,
the cut of your clothes—
but your inner disposition.
Cultivate inner beauty,
the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.
The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way,
and were good, loyal wives to their husbands.
Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham,
would address him as "my dear husband."
You'll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same,
unanxious and unintimidated.
1 Peter 3:1-6
(The Message)
I like this passage because it shows me how to overcome that insecure, fakey clique mode--and how to be captivatingly beautiful. That kind of beauty--the kind of beauty God (and the right guy) delight in--is about an inner character of grace, kindness, bold confidence and security.
Don't get me wrong--I thing most of us girls still like to look good on the outside. But for all the time and energy I dedicate to fixing my hair and finding cute clothes--it's completely meaningless if I forget to prioritize building a beautiful heart, mind and spirit--molded by God and the wisdom of His Word.
The next time someone tells me, "You're beautiful," I hope they won't just think about my appearance, but that I can somehow demonstrate a glimpse of that captivating kind of beauty that makes my Savior proud.
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