Confidently speaking...

"It's all about confidence--in the markets, in ourselves, in life," the reporter said.

As I sat channel-surfing the evening news, this statement caught my attention. I'm relatively new to working in the investment industry. But the past few weeks, it's been interesting to see how fear plays such a key role in the financial markets...and in our everyday lives.

Take public speaking, for example. Statistics show us that people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death. Seriously. But consider how much of our lives is determined by how well we speak and project confidence to others--in a job interview, on a first date, when talking to others about God?

The importance of confidence? HUGE!

One thing I've thought about lately is that in times of uncertainty, it's important to know what or who you can be confident in. What do you really know for sure? What (or who) can you really trust?

I love that the Bible speaks to our everyday needs and emotions. This past weekend, our pastor read this verse that I wish so many Christians, investors, women, men, teenagers really believed as true:

So do not throw away your confidence;

it will be richly rewarded.

You need to persevere

so that when you have done the will of God,

you will receive what he has promised.

(Hebrews 10:35-36)

God doesn't promise that life will be without problems or uncertainty. But He does promise to be there with us--to be the same, unchanging good, loving, gracious God every single moment of every single day. He promises that if we follow His word and walk in His will, we'll receive the benefits of what he's promised us.

Of all things to have confidence in, being confident in God and His promises sounds pretty good to me.

The truth about secrets

“My boyfriend thinks I love football. The truth? I don’t know the difference between a first down or a third down, the Raiders or the Patriots…and I don’t really care."

“I don't like my job. And I feel horrible even writing that when so many people would die to have what I have. It's a dream job...but it's not my dream."


"I'm in love with my best friend. I'm pretty sure she likes me, too, but she's into the whole 'the guy asks the girl out' kinda thing. I'm not afraid of commitment or even that our friendship will change. I'm afraid that she'd settle for me...that I may not be the kind of guy she deserves."


I stood in the middle of Hudson News at O'Hare reading secrets like this compiled in "Post Secret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives" by Frank Warren. I don't know the full backstory on the book, but it looks like the author may have just found some of the secrets--there was a mix of drawings on napkins, letters, e-mails. As I flipped through the pages, I felt like I was eavesdropping on other people's lives...but I was completely sucked in to the secrets of strangers.

Perhaps it was largely due to curiosity. But just flipping through that book, I thought about a few truths I know about secrets:

• We're more alike than we're different.
  
  What were most people's secrets about? Love. Family. Purpose. Friendship. Faith. As different as we are, most of us care most about the big things in our lives...and I think that's pretty cool.

• Writing a secret can be cathartic. But think carefully when you hit "send", "post" or mail that letter.
  
  I personally know that writing your thoughts can be empowering, rewarding, or even cathartic. Writing something down on paper or on screen makes your thoughts more real--they actually become tangible ink on paper, words on a screen. When you write, you are trying to make sense of your experience--capturing your ideas into words. However, I am also really glad that there are letters I haven't mailed, e-mails I haven't sent or blog posts I haven't published. I wonder how many of the contributors to Post Secret wish their secrets never saw the stands at Hudson News, Borders or your local library.

• If someone entrusts you with a secret, guard it carefully ...
  
  I just did a quick Bible search on the word "secret" and one of the references that stood out to me said, "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret" (Proverbs 11:13). Learning to be quiet or stop a gossip train isn't easy for everyone. But by being a good listener and guarding the secrets of others, you become a trusted friend/family member and ally.

• ... But the truth always comes out.
  
  This was something my Dad used to tell us while we were growing up--mainly to help us end major family dramas--like cheating at Candyland (you know who you are, middle sister!). But I think he was definitely right. Ultimately, God knows everything about all of us, so there aren't really any secrets. And from what I've seen, secrets--like motives--often surface in the real world, too. I think by teaching us this, my Dad was teaching us to live honest lives of integrity--to be who we said we were. It's been a good lesson to learn.

• Some secrets shouldn't be secret.
  
  When I flipped through the Post Secret book, I was a bit surprised that some of the entries were secrets. People wrote such beautiful things about how much they loved a spouse, children, parents, etc.--and I can only hope that those secrets were shared with the people who were so appreciated, respected or loved.

5 (more!) reasons why the Puyallup Fair makes me smile

1. Two words: elephant ears.

2. Adults wearing overalls in 2008.

I like overalls ... on children under 5. And at one point, I did wear them as a teen because they were trendy for some unknown reason (any other girls wear the cordoroy overalls in the '90s?). But I'll be real--they just don't look good on most adults. And if you are one of the few people in America that actually looks great in overalls, you would probably look a million times better in anything else (okay, maybe not Hammer pants). :)

3. Furry hats.

I don't know what it is. But at the fair, people are willing to spend actual cash money on tacky trashy things they would never ever buy anywhere else. Take furry hats, for example. I kept seeing posses of otherwise fashionable preteen girls wearing these tacky trashy furry hats.

It seriously looked like they were dressing up for Halloween as the creepy guy named "Mystery" (whose real name is probably something like Melvin) from VH1's "The Pick-up Artist" or hosting the most disturbing version of the Mad Hatter's tea party in Alice in Wonderland.

[Sidenote: That movie must have been seriously made by people smoking crack. The girl eats mushrooms and pills and grows or shrinks? The caterpillar sings hypnotic songs with a smoke pipe that spells with pretty bright colors? Cats with creepy smiles appear out of nowhere and then suddenly disappear? Why did our parents let us watch this movie...? :) ]

4. The Gravitron

You may know that I love crazy rides and rollercoasters. But back in the day, I also loved the Gravitron--this fast spinning ride that lifts kids up in the air (without a booster seat, thank you very much!) and somehow makes it feel as if you weigh a million pounds when you try to lift up your arms or legs. Perhaps schools should have these rides on playgrounds to stop the obesity epidemic in America. It would be way cooler than vegetables. :)

5. The $400 blender

What cracks me up about this is not the blender itself. But how easily my Dad gets sucked into the vortex of logic that would compel someone to buy one.

"You can make really good smoothies and soup. All in one machine! And it's healthy, too!" he says, his eyes wide as he sips on some chocolate-strawberry concoction of goodness (healthy?).

And Mom will usually come back with, "When was the last time you actually made a smoothie? Or cooked some soup?"

"Maybe I would if I had that blender," he says.

"Or maybe with $400, we could buy a whole lot of Campbell's and some Jamba Juice," she smiles.

This ability to get sucked into a vortex of smooth salesmanship makes it difficult for my Dad to walk through Costco on sample day with a list or attend rummage sales and auctions without my Mom [ "This organ was only $100 and it was for a good cause!" he said. "But no one in our family plays the organ or ever wants to," she replies]. I love this family! :)

P.S. Here's the list from last year ... in case you missed it.

Smart is hot

Awkward moments ... do you have them? (If you've read this blog for awhile, you know I do!) Let me tell you about a little awkward moment that happened today...

Here's the scene: I'm at work. I've just finished a meeting about a project with a colleague and my boss' boss. My boss' boss (a woman about my mom's age) turns to me and says, "I've just got to say one more thing...you are so pretty...those eyes, that smile. I don't understand why you're not married."

Awkward silence. I smile and say, "Thanks." (How exactly are single people supposed to respond to that question...especially in the office?)

"Pretty and smart...that combination just must scare guys."

I'll be fair and say that I really like my boss' boss--she was trying to compliment me. And I like compliments no matter where they come from or however oddly they surface.

But I will be honest--part of me is a little scared that her final statement may be accurate.

(Sidenote: I'm not saying I agree with her assessment of me specifically--to some degree, I think beauty and smarts are in the eye of the beholder).

But are people (and guys in particular) afraid of a "pretty" and "smart" combination? Why? And what in the world can we do to change that?

Can beauty and brains coexist? In a woman?

When was the last time you saw a woman on TV or in a movie who was portrayed as both extremely beautiful and really smart? Anyone?

For some reason, Hollywood has reduced most women to caricatures--you're either really hot and dumb (see Jessica Simpson and Pam Anderson) or smart and not that cute.

I haven't seen it yet, but there's a new movie out called the "House Bunny" that appears to illustrate this point. The concept of the movie is that there's a sorority of smart girls who are frumpy, out-of-date, unpopular and unattractive. Who comes to save them? The classic former Playboy bunny (read: shapely, thin blonde) who is also caricaturized (misspelling intentional) as an idiot. Ugh.

Can you imagine if men were constantly pigeonholed like that--as hot bumbling idiots or geeky brainiacs? At one point in time, African-Americans were portrayed similarly in the media ... and many are still fighting the stereotypes associated with those horrible portrayals. Why in the world do we still allow the media to continually portray women this way in the 21st century?

I wonder if some people have tried to stifle the beautiful power of brains.

How would the world be different if women were unashamed of their intelligence?

The media has shown us that it's okay to flaunt our sex appeal--but smarts? Not unless you want to branded as a woman who's crazy ambitious, witchy (or something that rhymes with that), unpopular or ugly.

I'm sick of it. So how do we turn the tables? Somehow, I think we need to convey the idea that smart is hot. Here are a few of my own personal ideas ...

Why smart is hot

• Smart women are kind to others. Contrary to the soap opera diva or manic businesswoman image, truly smart women are actually nice. They're kind to others because it's the right thing to do ... but also because they know that kindness leads to good relationships ... and good relationships are essential to any kind of success in life (with God, their families, colleagues, customers, etc.).
  


• Smart women are interesting. Let's face it--external beauty is appealing to people (and guys in particular). But physical attraction can only last so long. If a woman isn't smart, she probably doesn't have much of interest to say ... and that gets old quickly.
  


• Smart women make good decisions--take is as a compliment if they
  choose you. One thing I've heard repeatedly about guys is that they like to be respected and admired. But most smart women do not give away their respect and admiration lightly. If you're a guy dating or married to a smart woman, you can take it as a serious compliment that she has chosen you.

Smarts, like looks, vary...

It's also important to point out that there are several different kinds of intelligence. Most of us aren't geniuses at all of them. But I think it's amazing that God created us with different types of smarts--some have people smarts, others have creative intelligence and others may be just plain logical.

I just Googled "intelligence" and "types" and found this piece of interest--it talks about nine different types of intelligence!

In addition to this list, I would argue that there may also be a type of spiritual intelligence--a kind of inexplicable wisdom that comes from God, knowing His Word and applying it to your life--to the point where it almost becomes intuitive, where you're living in tune with the Holy Spirit and His direction.

And that's definitely hot.

P.S. I also previously wrote a related (more guy-driven) topic called "Why bold is hot"

Cool things lately...

I have a confession--I have not been good at keeping up my blog lately. I do think it’s a bit funny that my “Cool things of the week” postings have morphed into “Cool things of the month” and now “Cool things lately”.

Oh well. I will not live ashamed … or deprive loyal readers of reading about some of the things I’ve loved lately. So here goes:

Celeb crush - Jeff Dye: (Sigh) Not only is he adorable, but he’s also hilarious. And that, my friends, is a deadly combination. If you didn’t get to see him on Last Comic Standing, check out this clip.

On a more serious note, going to his comedy show with some amazing friends may have been the highlight of last week—all of the comedians we saw with him were fairly clean and provided some much-needed laughs for my friends and me.

Musician – Rob Blackledge: Thanks to Pandora, I discovered the musical stylings of Rob Blackledge. He’s kind of like a cross between Justin Timberlake and John Legend …high voice, but smooth piano guy stylings. Love.


Night out – BJ's with Anthem girls: Get your friends. Go to Southcenter. And check out BJ's restaurant. It’s got your basic American grub (fried and cheap), but save room for a pizookie. Wow. It’s basically a blend of chocolate chewy goodness (translation: a warm chocolate chip cookie that melts in your mouth) with vanilla ice cream. And if you’re not a chocolate chick (or guy), you can order other flavors.

• Volunteer day: Facepainting foster kids: Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to help at a Justice Project event providing school supplies for foster kids. It was about 95 degrees and we were all scorching in the sun, but seeing their mile-wide smiles after I painted their faces was priceless. So cute!
  
  

Girl power moment: Repainting my bedroom and bathroom (in greens) and reaffixing shelves to the wall. Me + power tools + paint. Wow. :)

Cheap chic shopping finds:
Jewelry from XXI Forever at Southcenter.

Yes, you will have to brave the crowds of 14-year-old shrieking (or angst-ridden teens. But necklaces for $6.80? I'm in! Don't expect diamonds or high quality, but if you're just looking for trendy cute pieces that won't break the bank, this is the place!

• New-to-me restaurant: Check out Cafe Divino in North Tacoma. It's a cozy cool place that's perfect for "ladies who lunch" (grab your friends, sisters, mothers and go) or a great date off the beaten path (guys, I promise it's not too girly!).
  
  
• Quirky Olympic sport: Racewalking. Oh. My. Word. My sis and I were channel surfing and happened to see one of these racewalking competitions in process (kind of like this, but minus the background music. And picture a whole pack of these people walking in sync together). Hilarious!
  
  Can you imagine the post-competition interview? "Yes, Bob Costas, I train every weekday by walking from Macy's to JP Penney...it's about 2K...brutal stuff. What was that? No, I'm not gay. But the hip action I've perfected in my training has helped me to become a stellar salsa dancer. And yes, I do wear shirts with ruffles." :)

With everything

It's been a crazy cool, incredibly powerful, life-changing week. As I'm sitting at this laptop writing, there are so many words I'd like to write...but mere words could not describe the last week at Team Church Conference 2008.

If any song captured the heartbeat of this year's conference, it was "With Everything," one of the latest songs from Hillsong's new album "This is Our God" (seriously, get it now!).

"With Everything" is a prayer. And in that same spirit, I thought I'd make this post a prayer of to God highlighting some some the nuggets that grabbed me at conference this year ... and things I need to work on.

Dear God,

• With everything ... I will worship You. Because you are the indescribable God who blows my mind with Your love.
  
  
• With everything ... I will chase the lions that are impossible to fight without You.
  
  
• With everything ... I will serve You and the leaders in my life with excellence. (Even if it means I am the lone single girl at the front of the room at the sex track session--because I was asked to help with it.) :)



• With everything ... I will lead with confidence where I'm called to lead and be a super sidekick where I am not.
  
  
• With everything ... I will stand united with the rest of Your kids in this family called the Church.



• With everything ... I will live a life of love. Help me to really see people as You see them. Help me to listen. Help me to see and love those who don't know You yet.

Amen!

Beautiful mystery

There are so many mysteries I will never understand (see this post for more).

Why do some guys feel the need to spit in public?

Why did people ever think Hammer pants looked cool?

Why so some people actually like Bob Dylan's music?

Joking aside, mysteries can both perplex and intrigue me. Like great music, movies, art or a message that you can listen to or watch over and over again and find something new and interesting each time. Or people who have basic surfacey stuff in common with you, but also have some mysterious depth that's interesting to discover.

Last Sunday at the Truth Project we talked about beautiful mysteries--the mystery of God's "adoption" of you and me into His family. That kind of love is, in the words of Will Ferrell (circa Blades of Glory), "mindbottling." It's beyond any love I've ever known or imagined on this planet. It doesn't make sense to my logical brain. But honestly, what truly great things ever do?

If something totally makes sense to my limited mind, it has lost its mystery...and perhaps that is the kiss of death in my book. Mystery is intriguing. It's worth pursuing. It's exciting.

I just have to remember that--instead of trying to wrap my head around everything (especially a God that can't be contained). There is beauty in mystery--and I am a little like Nancy Drew trying to discover some of the answers.